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unattractive if girl has had more sex partners than you?

l]evil said:
how would you even get to know the number..
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That's a really good point. I've never been asked in my whole sexual history of 14 years and 3 long term relationships - thank god. And I would find it extremely rude if I was.... the very fact that it was an issue for that person would completely turn me off.

I guess it's commonplace in some relationships. Glad my partners have had better things to concentrate on than my past.

for the record, I've had maybe 20 partners in those 14 years. That's... a whopping 1.4 per year! :D
 
I will dispute that, I never said 4 or less.

Does it make you feel special if you sleep with someone that has chosen to share themselves with 100 people?
 
I don't know if that was aimed at me or not, but I'll answer. In complete honesty, the amount of people someone has slept with has absolutely no bearing on how special I feel with them. As long as they are clean, STD free and faithful (within the agreed boundaries of our relationship), it's not an issue whatsoever.

On some level, it's even intriguing/attractive if they have a rich sexual history ;) They've chosen to be with me, after all that, and that's what matters.

I wouldn't ask in the first place anyway, so I would probably never find that information out.
 
Here: I'll say it! I'll been sexually active for 5 years and I've fucked 9 individuals.

3.5 years has been spent in relationships - so in the remaining 1.5 years, I've slept with 7 people (fooled around with more).

When I'm single, I'm open to sexual possibilities, it's as simple as that! I only sleep with people who meet my standards.. I won't be with ANYONE!

I'm a far cry from a slut.

Easy? For the right person, maybe.
Easy for anyone? Hell no.
 
you know what, I wouldn't even care, because I just don't ask those kind of questions.

But answer my question man. C'mon....
 
kandyraverchick said:
Here: I'll say it! I'll been sexually active for 5 years and I've fucked 9 individuals.

3.5 years has been spent in relationships - so in the remaining 1.5 years, I've slept with 7 people (fooled around with more).

When I'm single, I'm open to sexual possibilities, it's as simple as that! I only sleep with people who meet my standards.. I won't be with ANYONE!

I'm a far cry from a slut.

Easy? For the right person, maybe.
Easy for anyone? Hell no.
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Good for you. And as far as im concerned that kind of sexual history is in the area of exactly what i'd be looking for if i was single. But you also are assisting my point. Your a far cry from a slut means you think about it, it put some value on who you sleep with, you dont think your easy and why should we want to be with anyone who is?
 
Aknum said:
Good for you. And as far as im concerned that kind of sexual history is in the area of exactly what i'd be looking for if i was single. But you also are assisting my point. Your a far cry from a slut means you think about it, it put some value on who you sleep with, you dont think your easy and why should we want to be with anyone who is?
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But now we come back to kittyinthedark's point. If I've had 20 partners over 14 years and KRC's had 9 in 5, there aint that much difference really when you look at it. But all you're looking at is the numbers. Where's the context?
 
Aknum said:
Good for you. And as far as im concerned that kind of sexual history is in the area of exactly what i'd be looking for if i was single. But you also are assisting my point. Your a far cry from a slut means you think about it, it put some value on who you sleep with, you dont think your easy and why should we want to be with anyone who is?
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Because someone who *didn't* know my numbers, who only met me in my single phases, could easily be decieved.

Think about it. If I'd had no strong relationships and slept with 7 people every 1.5 years, times 5, that would take my numbers up to about 25! Then there's the people I've fooled around with on top of that.

See.. so just because someone "seems" like they could have slept with a lot of people, doesn't mean they necissarilly have.
 
Strawberry_lovemuffin said:
But now we come back to kittyinthedark's point. If I've had 20 partners over 14 years and KRC's had 9 in 5, there aint that much difference really when you look at it. But all you're looking at is the numbers. Where's the context?
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Yes and ill say it again. Its never a total deal breaker, all contexts are considered. In my case as another very general rule I typically find myself attracted to people 2-4 years younger than me. And I find even more negative outcomes come out of people who started before they were ready (a lot regret it and it taints their views on sex). So as a general rule, the more than me rule fits the best because if a 19-21 year old (im 23) has chalked up a lot more than me then she probably did it in a short time. It just sends alarm bells ringing, as does girls that come on too strong, girls that seem to be leading on more than one guy at once and a few other general indicators that can all be overcome but get me questioning things.
 
Dyno_aus said:
It's funny how a number by itself plays tricks on the mind.
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True..

I remember how I used to be:

I was with maybe my 3rd woman.. when I pop the question to her she says "5". My mind IMMEDIATELY drew a picture of her on a bed with 5 men around her all talking about how she was so tight and how she moaned when she came. LOL

All that was missing from my mind's eye was 70's porno music!
*bad porno guitar music starts*
 
It seems like most people here agree that there is a some kind of limit when it comes to a partner's past no. of sexual partners, and if that limit was crossed, you'd begin to be turned off, or at least wonder if there was something 'wrong' with the person.Where is that limit for you? 3? 25? triple digits, quadruple digits?

A couple of years ago I had a really short relationship with a guy who's number was well into the triple digits (he was 27). Strangely, it didn't affect me that much when he told me. Of course there were the usual 'oh no, he's comparing me to past fucks and doesn't think I'm good enough', but I probably would have felt the same way if he had said 20. However, he did turn out to have a *lot* of issues, especially concerning his dubious sexual past. These days I'd think twice about someone who had had that amount of past sexual partners, though in itself it probably wouldn't be a deal breaker, at least not if he was a more or less psychologically stable person and had no std's.

Normally I don't ask about these kind of things though, unless I'm asked first.
 
glitterbizkit said:
It seems like most people here agree that there is a some kind of limit when it comes to a partner's past no. of sexual partners, and if that limit was crossed, you'd begin to be turned off, or at least wonder if there was something 'wrong' with the person.Where is that limit for you?
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I agree.

Not that i'd ask the question.. its asking for trouble.. but I'd begin to wonder if someone had more than say more than 6 partners a year average since they were sexually active with some grace given if they are young. Like Them having SO many partners implies that they can't stay in a relationship for more than two months is not just bad luck in every case - they may have some sort of problem upstairs.

But with each new person, they all have a chance to show who they are by their actions in the relationship with me.
 
had too many partners for a girl to out match me and when their woman you dont count anymore.
 
Aknum said:
As far as I am concerned your just going to haveta accept that some of us guys think like this, and I can tell you now that amoungst my group of friends, it has been discussed and all the guys admit that this has some bearing on how attractive they find a girl and i'd guess about 3/4 would rule a girl out based on it. I think deep down its a natural instinct that kicks in and makes us think if a girl has been around before then she probably isnt going to stop going around just for you.
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Haha.. thats funny.

Maybe you should accept that us women have actually lived a life before you came into it.

But in the end of the day ... a girl who has gotten out there and experienced life and her sexual desires probably doesn't want to be with someone with your mentality anyways :)

The number of partners a girl has had does not determine if they are a slut of not....

Its more about how they portray themselves and go about it.

Well in my book anyways. But i dont quickly judge others so i doubt my opinion would make any sense to you.


:)
 
-PSychiK- said:
But in the end of the day ... a girl who has gotten out there and experienced life and her sexual desires probably doesn't want to be with someone with your mentality anyways :)
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I have no problems with people selecting partners on the basis of how many previous partners provided they are consistent with their own beliefs. Ie if promiscuity is thought to be wrong and say a guy doesn't do it, why shouldn't he pick a partner on the basis that they have also been chaste or careful.

I think making this a gender issue is unhelpful, ie i don't believe it's any more a bad thing for a woman to have done thatn it is for a man.

I feel it's hypocrisy regarding this that is leading a lot of the comment. If one practices what one preaches i don't see it as a problem.

One may be the one missing out on some nice partners, but it is a valid preference to have.

If a partner had been very impulsive, thoughtless, gratuituous or inconsiderate in entering sexual encounters before, i'd like to be clear that this was no longer the case, as it is no longer for me.
 
-PSychiK- said:
Haha.. thats funny.

Maybe you should accept that us women have actually lived a life before you came into it.
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We try our best to block that out..... and we have amazing powers to do so.

*la la la la* didn't hear you *la la la la*
 
Sorry, didn't read through the whole post on this one, so forgive me if I'm off, but do you actually see it's the girls getting riled up on this and saying if a guy has this mindset he is an immature child and not so desirable, but guys who don't share the mindset just say "get over it" (without doing it as maliciously). That being said, I am a person that falls into this mindset. However, it's not always just the number, but delivery. I could care less what a girl's number is, in fact I ask them not to tell me (so I avoid making "judgment" I guess), but so many woman are hung up on knowing "all of me," that they feel they're living in a lie unless they blurt it out. Not only that, its stomach churning when she keeps reliving all this experiences and telling you how good so and so was or how big her ex's dick was. I guess in the end, finding someone with a similar sexual morality as yourself can be just as important as finding someone who is sexual compatible with you (or maybe it could be considered part of sexual compatibility, I don't know).
 
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