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Two Poems

Çhi√aDî√ina

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 28, 2009
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39
Location
Los Angeles, CA
Two Poems (Feedback desired)

I've been writing a bit of poetry lately, though my preferred form is prose. These are a couple in which I adopt a Dr. Seuss like rhyme scheme juxtaposed with rather dark/darkly humorous subject matter. Would love any kind of feedback, as, although Ive been doing it for years, I feel I'm still developing majorly as a poet.
 
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The Thoughts Of A Killer

The Thoughts of A Killer

The thoughts of a killer reside within us all,
though when they strike
do they not provoke
a scene thats so appalling?
On days so grey, so full of lives
devolving,
and skulls which skin still clings to
quite thoughtfully recalling
a time when things were things
that didnt need resolving.
A rolling wave, does Time resemble?
crashing but never solving
the questions that it brings us, calling, calling, calling
you, to come and see the killing spree
that its been slowly hauling.
The broken memories,
the pleas, the fees
well theyve been waiting;
like a parking enforcer
bent to clench your carefree neck
and warn you
that
Youre falling.
Down you go then
up youre crawling.
Up the sculliotic spine of breath
until it leaves you,
then youre death.
When killers thoughts do so approach you
let Heaven's Hell in turn reproach you
for theyll be dead in due time too,
and bait for a sickly vulture.
 
Materialism

Materialism

Welcome to our wonderful
facility.
It bright and shining new,
And when you press this button, here,
All your dreams come true.
Right through these doors
are all the things
that you have ever wanted.
I cannot tell you what they are,
for only you know well and true
how you can make them yours!
by making Bob here want them
or having Joe here flaunt them.
Here you see are things that only you,
your mind can make them haunt you.
begging you:
"YOU NEED ME! And if you don't,
well,
your a bit of a bonk, now arent you?"
Dont look at me.
Im not the one who started this.
Its you, your kind,
youve always only Wanted.
And one day when you need your soul
You're going to have to reckon
with someone on a higher floor
sorry,
thats not the return section.
The receipt would help, (I think?)
but I dont suppose youve got it
Maybe next time
sir,
youll use a bit of logic.
 
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