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trying to stay on the wagon...

T

Tsleezy

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 2, 2011
Messages
16
so yea i have lurked on this site quite a bit but still pretty new, hello all :)

i am about a week clean from roxys. i was taking 75-120mg of roxy a day for about 3 yrs. i pushed away all my friends and all the things i love to just use oxy (sad realization) and only have my family left. i don't wanna be an embarrassment to them and myself anymore so i decided to quit them. its difficult to say the least.

anyway my question is what can i do to keep myself from using? like fighting the cravings and will i feel better than i do now after a while? i have all the bowel issues under control but i still get antsy/kicky and achey as fuck. this may sound stupid but i considered cough medicine?? and/or liquor to ease the pain. also i have about 20 somas and maybe a football to aid in a little sleep. ***these are not things i normally take i just have aquired them and kept them like a pack rat but i could use them...??? i'm willing to try anything because i also have an ass ton of roxys and methadone laying around which is NOT AN OPTION.

thanks in advance for whatever advice can be given!
 
Tsleezy said:
so yea i have lurked on this site quite a bit but still pretty new, hello all :)

i am about a week clean from roxys. i was taking 75-120mg of roxy a day for about 3 yrs. i pushed away all my friends and all the things i love to just use oxy (sad realization) and only have my family left. i don't wanna be an embarrassment to them and myself anymore so i decided to quit them. its difficult to say the least.

anyway my question is what can i do to keep myself from using? like fighting the cravings and will i feel better than i do now after a while? i have all the bowel issues under control but i still get antsy/kicky and achey as fuck. this may sound stupid but i considered cough medicine?? and/or liquor to ease the pain. also i have about 20 somas and maybe a football to aid in a little sleep. ***these are not things i normally take i just have aquired them and kept them like a pack rat but i could use them...??? i'm willing to try anything because i also have an ass ton of roxys and methadone laying around which is NOT AN OPTION.

thanks in advance for whatever advice can be given!
Click to expand...

Throw them away...If you do not like yourself on these medications, a week from now you will be through the worst of it. 3 years is a short enough time to kick for good If you start using again it will be way harder to quit.
 
Don't drink alcohol. I turn into a pretty heavy drinker when I am not using opiates, and a lot of people relapse this way.

Your body and mind is still adjusting to not having opiates in your system, but you have to give it time. The cravings will gradually go down over time, and you will have less and less thoughts about using.

Do you have a job? If not, get one, and have your parents hold onto most of your money. Keep busy so you don't dwell on not having drugs, and slowly start working your way back in to your social group.
 
thanks for the reply it means alot.

i'm strong enough to not touch the opiates as i have my mind made up this time. however that doesn't help my symptoms so what do you think about the other things i mentioned to help ease my pain?? i'm keeping myself as busy as i can to occupy my mind. i realize there is no quick fix i was just hoping there was something i could take to so i'm not constantly thinking of how bad i feel and thinking of the huge bottles of meds repeatedly lol.
 
thanks Tommyboy, (i posted again before i saw your reply)

seems like some solid advice for sure. i will def stick with it and keep posting and reading on here... you all may be keeping me from using now and in the future.
 
The xanax can help you with sleep, but I don't recommend it for more than maybe 3x when you really need it. Soma should be able to help relax your muscles and make you a little drowsy so you can fall asleep easier.

For the future, you could get some OTC antihistamines to help with sleep. Diphenhydramine (generic for Benadryl) works for sleep and can help with anxiety as well.
 
I would just try to keep busy whenever you start dreaming of the huge bottles of meds....I had probs with alcohol and then started combining with xanax and ambien. Two DUI's later I am off the pills and don't even crave the alcohol anymore. Sometimes substituting another pill or alcohol just creates a new issue.
 
thanks for all the great advice! i'm actually getting excited because this is somethng i never thought i could do and i'm doing it. i used to be able to take all kinds of things recreationally but i had a fuck of a time letting these go.
 
a new problem would actually be welcome at this point (joke,kinda) as long as i get rid of this one lol
 
if you want to get clean, you will stop using all drugs at once. Otherwise, you won't be clean ;)

The best thing to do is occupy yourself. I know this is hard, if everything you did in the past three years was high on Oxy.
It seems like nothing is interesting any more, and nothing is worth pursuing any more, and everything is just such a fucking chore. I know the feeling.

The trick is to just do it. Persuade your own mind into doing something every day. And if it starts out with going for a walk for 30 minutes each day. Some accomplishment you can look back on and say "yeah, i did that today". Then you can start to ramp it up. Do something that produces results.

It will be hard, tough and seemingly pointless. But you HAVE TO occupy yourself, otherwise the chances of a relapse are HIGH. Go out, join a ping-pong club, learn to dance, go swimming in a hall, ride a bike, take up a hobby such as building model airplanes, get into crafting things, i don't care. You need to do something, and motivate and push yourself to just do it, no matter how much you don't want to. It's a battle with yourself, but you will find the more you do this, the easier it will become with time.

And after a few months of filling your day with rewarding activities, you will slowly learn to live all over again, in a sober state. Waking up in the morning and not feeling sick is one of the best feelings in the world. Waking up, and knowing you don't have to consume anything today to feel good, is better than any opiate induced euphoria. So i urge you to not substitute your addiction with something else. Stay clean. Be proud of your own sobriety. It's precious. You haven't had that for three years. things will get better. Time is now on your side again. Use it wisely.

I don't know about your current occupation, but if you are not working, think about going out and finding some part time work. It doesn't matter if you actually get the job, what matters is that you make an effort to every day.
 
I use a 12 step program. I go to AA. I have a sponsor. Works so far. Get a good support system. I have a scholarship through a recovery program to finish college now. Pretty gnarly. Better than being sick all the time.
 
@rave23: If OP has parallel addictions, it might be counter-productive to try to go clean on all of them at once. It could be less overwhelming to ease off one at a time. I do certainly agree that one would need to be extremely careful with trying to 'ease the pain' by taking something else, especially something as addictive as benzos.

Lots of great advice otherwise! :)
 
Keep busy, have a sleeping aid, know you're going to have some shitty w/ds (not the worst with the habit you describe but far from pleasant), and know that you're going to miss the oxycodone pretty badly for a good few months. Two drugs really helped me when I quit and never became a real substance of abuse that negatively impacted me: cannabis and suboxone. I could have done it without either but they certainly helped me get through the first few weeks.

A few days I would take xanax, but I was sure not to substitute one addiction or reliance for another.

Also, flush the script or get rid of them if you want to quit. If you're anything like me, having those around while you are w/d'ing is going to be the worst part.

I started going to the gym pretty hard after my w/ds finally quit (took bout 2+ weeks for physical syptoms for me to subside to a point where I felt like moving -at all-). Having any passion to use your free time on, and having the appropriate mindset, IMO, are the most important aspects. It ain't gunna be fun or easy, but it sounds like it's what you need.

If you were blowing them like I would have been, you can try blowing inactive substances (I'd blow water, glucose, anything - just to get that ROA feeling satisfied even if there was no dope going up my nose. Eventually I started using saline solution, and whenever I got a craving, I'd just shoot one squirt up my nose).

Good luck
 
NA Meetings work for some, but not everyone. Talk about it to someone. HOlding your cravings inside will lead to relapse. I feel for you homie and i really hope you don't go back to the oxy bro :)
 
i'm gonna do everything i can not to go back to the oxy. i mean i've tortured myself this much so far so i don't wanna go back. and i would like to sell off or flush my stash but i actually think it is comforting me knowing that its there as weird as that sounds i think i would freak without it. just knowing i could have it if i wanted but choosing not to have it is helping.

also, i know how addiction works and that addictions are all too often transfered. i dont have any other dependencies or habits i assure you. the other things i have around are just for shits and grins but i won't hesitate to use them if need be to get rid of my oxy habit. truth is, i don't enjoy anything other than oxy (drug wise) so i think i'll be ok.

and as for the suboxone thing... i have tried that before..., it kept me off oxy for a short period of time but got too expensive so i quit it and went back. it was costing over $800/mo between Dr. and Rx. i also don't wanna be on Suboxone either INSTEAD OF oxy, i felt like i was cheating before by using it and i'll still feel like a douche for using and having to get scripts, dr.s, ect. NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE that has used it or benefits from it now, i've used it, i just feel like its cheating and i would still be unhappy about it.

so i'm gona give it a valiant effort. i've lost too many friends and too much of my life already. i'm 28 and gave up 3 yrs to it, that's enough.
 
to the OP - other drugs discussion topics are more focused around the action of the drug, etc, etc. however we do have threads such as the progress mega thread where you can keep us updated how you're traveling through your journey of sobriety to the addicted and need help thread is littered with advice on top of links to addiction services. check out the OD Directory for those links which is in my signature.

i'm going to send this over to TDS (the dark side), though if you'd like the thread to remain in OD don't hesitate to private message me or another TDS mod and they can move it back.

good luck!
 
1) It's not going to be easy, not matter what you do

2) Go see an addiction counselor, they wouldn't have their jobs if they couldn't help you

3) Go to Narcotics Anonymous because they have a rich history of helping the willing stay sober
 
^ definately check out NA, they work very well for some, but don't be discouraged if it doesn't click for you. No one methodology will work for everyone.
 
i'm gonna skip NA for now. i do appreciate the comments and suggestions but i'm just not ready for that. i want to handle this on my own (i'm not crazy about strangers to anyway) but i will def keep it in mind if things get tough or i get to a point where i need it or god forbid i replapse.

also, anyone W/D'ing right now check out this thread. it's saving my life right now! http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/...c-withdrawal?highlight=junkies+guide+survival
 
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Tsleezy, is that the right link? because I opened it and it is something entirely different from what it says it is.
Anyway, I wanted to add my kudos to you for all you are doing already.Your determination is rock-solid by the sound of it. The only advice I have is to have something that you can do with your hands--do you have anything like that in your life? You may laugh, but knitting has gotten many people (male and female :)) through WD's! Do you like to draw or play an instrument? The point is doing something that is distracting for your mind and engaging for your hands.
 
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