Trouble staying sober

[opiophilee]

Hi everyone,

I am new to this site, but have been a frequent reader. I have done my share of experimenting in my youth and teetered on alcoholism within recent years. My drug of choice is poppy tea, however I will happily eat any opiate pill I can get my hands on. I have recently quit pods (withrdawl was horrible) but I have been taking norcos, kratom, xanax and seed tea. I just have such a hard time being sober! I have a good life and living situation, but ever since I was fourteen I have had a daily craving to get high. I have been able to keep it under control until I discovered pods, it quickly became a daily thing...

Just looking for motivation and reason enough to not use pods.

Thanks!

 

[morpheumorpheus]

Hi!

I also struggled with opioid addiction... For the past 15 months I've never stayed more than 6 hours without some opioid... Using mostly morphine, also oxycodone, hydromorphine, among others... During those 15 months I simply became completely isolated from family and friends. It came to the point that I deleted my facebook and instagram. Never went more then 2 straights days to the gym (or any other kind of exercise for that matter). Ended up quitting law school (even though I had my logical reasons the opioids influenced a lot). And the worst, being a writer and being incapable of writing anything during this time. Staying home every fucking day watching TV Shows and Movies mostly in my room (spending a crazy amount of more than 5k on apple tv contents).
What first became an medical justified medicine, for my anxiety (it actually worked), ended up sucking my will.

Now after my struggles with withdrawl I've been clean for 8 days (except for some light use of elixir paregorico for my diarrhea) and just started running every day, going to the gym every day and actually leaving my apartment to do something...

To be honest, now that I'm losing my tolerance I can't wait to use something in the next weeks/months solely for recreational purpose. But i've been trying really hard to not go down that path again.
This is my second major drug struggle, my first was with 14 years when I had an overdose... And both times that I came out from the addiction I was a new man.

I think that you may be more addicted than me... If I stopped taking opioids for less than a month and already am MUCH better, imagine how you will turn up.

Go get your will to live again!!!

 

[opiophilee]

Hey, thanks for your reply. I have a pretty decent social life, good (but not fulfilling job), I am in a Master's program (and getting A's) and happily married. I feel like I have my will to live and to experience life. I have a lot of hobbies and am rarely bored. I just love opiates. I do suffer from anxiety and depression and live in inner city Detroit (which can be pretty hard). I also work out regularly and cook/eat well!

A problem for me is that because everything else is still in check, my motivation for staying sober is hard. I haven't had problems as a result of my substance use. My partner has expressed concern for my frequent use, but that is all. No one can even tell when I am high.....

I think about opiates everyday... I am sick of my thoughts being consumed by them. I am tempted to just use and continue using because I don't see the harm in it (aside from the cost$ and constipation)

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey guys and welcome to Blue Light. One of the craziest things I noticed when I got off the opiates and the benzos it that many of the reasons I used them disappeared. I also suffered from anxiety for a very long time. Now that I have changed my thoughts and gotten of the opiates and benzos my anxiety iw way down. Others have noticed thia as well. Here is a good thread for some motivation.

Good things about being off drugs/getting sober