jfischer218
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2012
- Messages
- 78
The first time I did shrooms I took an 8th and tripped my balls off. It was interesting, a bit overwhelming, but I was able to handle it. Two days later I took a half 8th. I knew my tolerance would be higher and that it would take more than I originally took to achieve anywhere near as good a trip, but I opted for half an 8th anyways. Upon not feeling anything I redosed an hour later, which didnt work either. An hour later after I redosed, my girlfriend of 3 years, my first real girlfriend and love, broke up with me
Now, after years of dissociative use I no longer feel emotions to a real extent, im pretty much blank in that department. However, this news wouldve probably torn me up anyway, but being on shrooms, even a small amount, my emotions were enhanced 100 fold. The whole thing was devastating. About 2 weeks later I decided to try again. I was still in a horrible state of depression, and im fully aware that hallucinogen use while depressed is probably the worst idea, but I wanted feelings back and thought that maybe I could come to some sort of solution if I could feel again. I opted to take an 8th again and my dealer recommended to try the lemon juice TEK, so I did. About half an hour in I threw it up. I really didnt feel any effects besides having emotions again so the purpose was achieved. I didnt mean to throw up but I started having second tthoughts about how much of a mindfuck I was in for so I didnt try to stop it. I wept my heart out and started to feel better within the next few days from the insight I had gotten that day.
Heres my question. If I ever attempt shrooms again, im worried that ill be revisited by my thoughts from the second trip, experience the devastation all over again. Does this sound like something thats possible or is it only possible because id be worried about it?
Now, after years of dissociative use I no longer feel emotions to a real extent, im pretty much blank in that department. However, this news wouldve probably torn me up anyway, but being on shrooms, even a small amount, my emotions were enhanced 100 fold. The whole thing was devastating. About 2 weeks later I decided to try again. I was still in a horrible state of depression, and im fully aware that hallucinogen use while depressed is probably the worst idea, but I wanted feelings back and thought that maybe I could come to some sort of solution if I could feel again. I opted to take an 8th again and my dealer recommended to try the lemon juice TEK, so I did. About half an hour in I threw it up. I really didnt feel any effects besides having emotions again so the purpose was achieved. I didnt mean to throw up but I started having second tthoughts about how much of a mindfuck I was in for so I didnt try to stop it. I wept my heart out and started to feel better within the next few days from the insight I had gotten that day.
Heres my question. If I ever attempt shrooms again, im worried that ill be revisited by my thoughts from the second trip, experience the devastation all over again. Does this sound like something thats possible or is it only possible because id be worried about it?
