Trapped

[New]

Stuck in a shell thinly shielded by shine
It twists and twizzles like the finest of vine
Trapped-trounced-and-tricked by my own self so cruel
I feel like a jerk who used to feel like a tool
My old master bade me bound up like a sheep
My new master - freedom - makes me cringe like a creep
So back to the old, at least I feel right
As I whisper and wade back into the night
But what of time endlessly entered into ol' me?
All that time meant to break my bonds free?
Is all that time wasted as it takes back its hold?
Is the new old me beaten as the oldness grows bold?
It can't be exactly as forseen as was last!
The future's forever, who knows what will hold fast?
I'm just searching for truth when no answers a told
a tale trying a treacherous, a tale ten times my old
For now it fares fire is my playmate of fortune
As I spin and spiral under new torsion
I can't see ahead, but from what's clearly behind
It seems I'm the fool who is paying no mind

 

[echo off]

dude... i don't understand it, i don't get it and i don't think i can appreciate it fully right now... but i do really like it

Trapped-trounced-and-tricked by my own self so cruel
I feel like a jerk who used to feel like a tool

i fkn love those lines, tho maybe thats just me

it sounds like your going through some kind of personal progression, and i plan to come back and read this again and perhaps again after that cause i really want to know exactly what it is you have captured here.

keep up the good work

 

[pennywise]

I know how you feel, New. I think a lot of us have been there. Was that your first time in inpatient?

Anyway, I have sort of my own thoughts on this subject...at least as far as the drugs go. You might want to check out my post on it: http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showpost.php?p=5570140&postcount=17, as well as the rest of the thread.

Is the new old me beaten as the oldness grows bold?

I really liked this line. It is very rich and has meaning on several levels all condensed into one well-worded line with a really cool rhythm. Sometimes a piece succeeds not only because of it's content or meaning, but also in the beauty and creativity of language.

It's nice to see a rhyming piece as well. I think people rely too much on free-form structure (basically lack of structure) in this forum. That's not to say that that style has no value or legitimacy. On the contrary, it is probably one of my favorite styles, but I think it is overused. So it is refreshing to see a more tightly structured rhyming piece.

Thanks for writing it.

And if you ever feel like talking, shoot me a pm. I don't have all or maybe any of the answers, but I would be happy to listen and to talk with you. It can be helpful sometimes. Take care, man.

 

[New]

Thanks, guys. Sometimes I think and it fades into naught, sometimes a fresh and bold idea doth get caught.

But I've been in inpatient before, this is just the second time which makes it so much more grueling. It makes me feel as if there's nothing to get out of the experience.