number22
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 17, 2016
- Messages
- 66
Okay so I guess i'll start with a back story of my drug use. I feel like this will be a long post, idk I'm just going to wing it. If you don't wanna read, the questions are at the bottom.
13 - first time getting drunk
14 - first time getting high
16 - first time lsd and shrooms
17 - discovery of prescription drug highs - ambien, xanax, klonopin, lyrica, etc.
at 17 a 2 1/2 year relationship ended, resulting in me needing to escape my thoughts. I began taking ambien to feel the effects of fighting sleep for a little bit, then would wake up in the morning not remembering falling asleep. I was very depressed and just hated thinking. Then I found xanax and that was better because I was able to pass out when I wanted and wouldnt have to worry about doing anything stupid (although blacking out is so common on it, but that only happened to me when mixed with alcohol).
My prescription drug phase ended basically after summer when I was 17 years old. I finally moved on from the relationship, and around this time was when a friend began selling tabs (of 25i...we all thought it was LSD). I was tripping every weekend or every other weekend with friends or alone. My local movie theater has a discount tuesday, and a handful of times I went there with a friend to watch while tripping.
When I turned 18 I was just ready to go to college. I hated high school, skipped SO MUCH. But hey I still graduated at top 20% of my class xD. I was basically just letting time pass. Main drug during this time was just weed.
Now off to college, it was great. Partying, freedom, kids my age EVERYWHERE. Except one day driving with a friend..we came up to a police checkpoint and the car reeeeeked so bad. So we get searched and get ticketed for possession. This was my second time getting caught with weed, so they had me do a alcohol and drug abuse referral program. I had to abstain from drug use..which really just meant weed because of how long it stays in your system.
This is when things get bad again. I was losing my shit, weed truly helped me calm down and not think about all the dumb shit that bothers me. So here comes the xanax..and lots of drinking on it. I am very short and only weigh 120 lbs, but my tolerance got up to being able to take 4 2mg bars on top of drinking without backing out. Fuck, that was a rough couple months, but after my referral program thing I was back to smoking weed. Fuck pills.
At this point I was an emotional wreck. I dropped out of college, with the plan of just taking one semester off to figure things out. At one point I considered therapy, but that was just a really low point this year. I feel sooo much better than I did 2 months ago. Actually at this point I think it was only one month ago.
NOW FINALLY I GOT THAT BORING BACK STORY OVER
Less than a week ago, I smoked DMT for my first time. The first 5 attempts all failed and only left me with very very subtle effects. Then finally I get the big hit. There had to be about 40mg in the pipe because I got tired of weighing out 15-20mg and then getting barely any effects. So I piled that shit in there and made it happen.
I blasted off, life changing experience blah blah blah.
Throughout all my drug use I knew it was all wrong, and always felt bad about doing it. However now I just really don't want to do them. I was interested in buying 2ce, more 4 aco dmt, opiates, and probably other things after that.
Now I don't care, they seem so pointless. More pointless than ever. I don't think I'm ready to give up weed though. My whole point of this post is, if you are sober, how did you approach it? When did you know you were ready? What was the reason? Difficulty? Drugs used? I'm only 19, but I think it's good that I'm feeling this way at this age. I'll be able to quit drug use before my friends most likely. Sorry for the long post, all replies greatly appreciated!
13 - first time getting drunk
14 - first time getting high
16 - first time lsd and shrooms
17 - discovery of prescription drug highs - ambien, xanax, klonopin, lyrica, etc.
at 17 a 2 1/2 year relationship ended, resulting in me needing to escape my thoughts. I began taking ambien to feel the effects of fighting sleep for a little bit, then would wake up in the morning not remembering falling asleep. I was very depressed and just hated thinking. Then I found xanax and that was better because I was able to pass out when I wanted and wouldnt have to worry about doing anything stupid (although blacking out is so common on it, but that only happened to me when mixed with alcohol).
My prescription drug phase ended basically after summer when I was 17 years old. I finally moved on from the relationship, and around this time was when a friend began selling tabs (of 25i...we all thought it was LSD). I was tripping every weekend or every other weekend with friends or alone. My local movie theater has a discount tuesday, and a handful of times I went there with a friend to watch while tripping.
When I turned 18 I was just ready to go to college. I hated high school, skipped SO MUCH. But hey I still graduated at top 20% of my class xD. I was basically just letting time pass. Main drug during this time was just weed.
Now off to college, it was great. Partying, freedom, kids my age EVERYWHERE. Except one day driving with a friend..we came up to a police checkpoint and the car reeeeeked so bad. So we get searched and get ticketed for possession. This was my second time getting caught with weed, so they had me do a alcohol and drug abuse referral program. I had to abstain from drug use..which really just meant weed because of how long it stays in your system.
This is when things get bad again. I was losing my shit, weed truly helped me calm down and not think about all the dumb shit that bothers me. So here comes the xanax..and lots of drinking on it. I am very short and only weigh 120 lbs, but my tolerance got up to being able to take 4 2mg bars on top of drinking without backing out. Fuck, that was a rough couple months, but after my referral program thing I was back to smoking weed. Fuck pills.
At this point I was an emotional wreck. I dropped out of college, with the plan of just taking one semester off to figure things out. At one point I considered therapy, but that was just a really low point this year. I feel sooo much better than I did 2 months ago. Actually at this point I think it was only one month ago.
NOW FINALLY I GOT THAT BORING BACK STORY OVER
Less than a week ago, I smoked DMT for my first time. The first 5 attempts all failed and only left me with very very subtle effects. Then finally I get the big hit. There had to be about 40mg in the pipe because I got tired of weighing out 15-20mg and then getting barely any effects. So I piled that shit in there and made it happen.
I blasted off, life changing experience blah blah blah.
Throughout all my drug use I knew it was all wrong, and always felt bad about doing it. However now I just really don't want to do them. I was interested in buying 2ce, more 4 aco dmt, opiates, and probably other things after that.
Now I don't care, they seem so pointless. More pointless than ever. I don't think I'm ready to give up weed though. My whole point of this post is, if you are sober, how did you approach it? When did you know you were ready? What was the reason? Difficulty? Drugs used? I'm only 19, but I think it's good that I'm feeling this way at this age. I'll be able to quit drug use before my friends most likely. Sorry for the long post, all replies greatly appreciated!