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Tragic Rolls

MindMelted said:
Appreciate the responses!
After everything you guys have said, I think what's happening is I'll be rolling at a show, encounter some of these people whose lives are obviously crumbling due to drugs or some other factor, and while in that type of headspace it really fucks me up, ruining my vibe. I think it comes down to me feeling guilty about my own drug use, so when I see shit like that I start to wonder if I'm any different than the people who are creeping me out...
Last night alive, let's fry our brains.
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Spot on
 
Rolling face in line for Datsik, and witnessed a kid drop mollys while being searched before entering the venue. He attempts to run and a cop tazed him, that was a sight while rolling. Fear is a good word for my emotions.
 
I only ever roll at home, and have never had any dark feelings or any sense of dread. It always makes me feel light, and otherworldly.
 
indigochild522 said:
I only ever roll at home, and have never had any dark feelings or any sense of dread. It always makes me feel light, and otherworldly.
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Are you using by yourself or with others? I can't imagine rolling by myself, and it's definitely other people that are screwing with my vibe. I think I'm gonna start saving the high dose drops for planned ocassions with a select group of friends. That shit is way more powerful than any amount of reading will prepare you for, and honestly I feel like I'm just damaging my brain (physically and emotionally). I'm probably gonna stop bothering with doses over 150mg. At a certain point (not exactly sure where) I'm not even really rolling anymore. It just turns into a crazy sort of trip.
 
MindMelted said:
I think I'm gonna start saving the high dose drops for planned ocassions with a select group of friends.
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I'm probably gonna stop bothering with doses over 150mg.
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You are on the right track here. I am very optimistic that following this plan will help you enjoy your MDMA experience more.
 
MindMelted said:
Are you using by yourself or with others? I can't imagine rolling by myself, and it's definitely other people that are screwing with my vibe. I think I'm gonna start saving the high dose drops for planned ocassions with a select group of friends. That shit is way more powerful than any amount of reading will prepare you for, and honestly I feel like I'm just damaging my brain (physically and emotionally). I'm probably gonna stop bothering with doses over 150mg. At a certain point (not exactly sure where) I'm not even really rolling anymore. It just turns into a crazy sort of trip.
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I roll with my boyfriend. We put on music, light candles, dance, roll around on fuzzy blankets, rock back & forth on an air mattress (feels like the ocean). I have weird out of body experiences sometimes (astral traveling), but I never feel lost or unsafe. My astral travel is usually when I'm coming down from my peak.
 
Clocktower: I'm sure it's all a bit subjective, but if I'm a 20-year-old male weighing 116 lbs, how much MDxx would you recommend for a "stronger" experience? Only reason I say MDxx is because most of the molly in my area is a mixture of MDMA/MDA. At least the good stuff usually is.
But yeah, I'm not just looking for energy and mood enhancement. I want to hallucinate. I want to be overwhelmed. That's why rolling is my favorite type of high! So I'm wondering what's the highest "comfortable" dose you'd suggest? I want a strong experience, just not a "last night alive, let's fry our brains" experience. I'm so done with that feeling.
indigochild522: Yeah, I want to try rolling in a more chill setting with this girl I've been talking to. I was thinking a picnic by the river would be interesting...
 
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I have had a similar experience recently with MDMA.. where I feel it usually kicks me into euphoria overdrive, this time I was a little disappointed with it. I also get the 'talking and dancing' thing on it. What you describe is actually a very interesting experience.. it's possible that when we open ourselves up like that, we also open up to the negative. The last time I took I was with my bf, and I felt 'bleh.' it was hard to get that extreme euphoria. Neither of us was talking very much (he didn't do it), and I felt bad that I wanted to constantly talk about my feelings, like I was putting too much chit chat on him. it was only OK... I think I would have much preferred to have that experience in a different environment, maybe a house party with more people doing it and talking and opening up. I didn't get that amazing 'WOW' feeling ... he wanted to go to bed earlier than me, and I felt like I was just trying to force the night to keep going. All it really seemed to do was make me extremely nauseous and sick.

Maybe MDA is better, and that's what I was always taking before.. ? Maybe this was the only MDMA I took? I remember the rolls always being very, very intense, euphoric as hell, feeling a rush like you're going up a mountain and then looking down... so I don't know.
 
scarlet_tunic said:
I think I would have much preferred to have that experience in a different environment, maybe a house party with more people doing it and talking and opening up. I didn't get that amazing 'WOW' feeling
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I bet it was just the boring situation killing your buzz lol. The few times I've rolled in casual settings weren't that euphoric. "Highly content" would be a better description. I definitely prefer MDA or a mix of the two. Shit makes me feel like a psychedelic superhero!
 
Not sure if double posting is allowed. My bad if it's not. Just wanted to check in to say I'm done rolling for a while. I lowered my doses, started eating healthier and exercising more often, and my rolls just get more and more mentally disturbing. I still feel really fucked up when I take it, but there's no euphoria - just a twisted sinister trippy headspace. "Why am I doing this to myself? Where is my life going?" No energy either - I'll get floored and not want to do anything. I guess all my serotonin's gone. I'm depressed as fuck now too. Oh well, break time.
 
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