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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

took sub this morning, copped H this afternoon . WTF?

BOJangles is right , im just so depressed and sick of life that i am almost at point i dont care and would rather be a dopefiend than go thru the sickness. and no i cant tell my parents
 
Dude you got no more options your done. You can no longer continue this run its over your beat just admit it go to the hospital tell them you need to detox from benzos and opiates spend a week or 2 gettin taperd then try and put your shit back together. Heroin is not going anywhere it will be there when its needed thats the best thing about gettin strait you can remember why getting fucked up is awsome its the yin and the yang of this lifestyle we chose. Live to fight another battle at this point you are just prolonging your agony.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Either you're going to continue to let this drug control the rest of your life, or you'll eventually find out that you can enjoy life without nodding out through the whole thing.
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Doesn't have to be that extreme. Drugs control a good portion of my life and I haven't nodded for a while now.

Barely being above maintenance is hard.
 
crimsonjunk said:
Dude you got no more options your done. You can no longer continue this run its over your beat just admit it go to the hospital tell them you need to detox from benzos and opiates spend a week or 2 gettin taperd then try and put your shit back together. Heroin is not going anywhere it will be there when its needed thats the best thing about gettin strait you can remember why getting fucked up is awsome its the yin and the yang of this lifestyle we chose. Live to fight another battle at this point you are just prolonging your agony.
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So freaking true I didn't want to quit because I finally had a good hook and thought that if I quit now I would lose dope forever, gone, never to be seen again... Man what a lie that I convinced myself as a fact. The first time I relapsed it took me all of one day to find the crew again. Now I can tell myself that in when I'm old and have lived a good life I'll go back to it but for now I got shit to take care of and being doped all the time really inst conducive to providing for your future...

"When you young your and idiot to do dope... but when your old your an idiot not too." Grandpa from Little Miss Sunshine

Jake people are here to help you man... How much more hurt are you gonna put yourself/family/friends through before you decided enough is enough. Actions speak louder than words man and trust me your family might not be too found of you at the moment but they still care greatly about you. I thought everyone had turned against me but really it was me pushing everyone away.

And one more thing bro I have seen a lot of horrible things in this business but my best friend nodded out at the wheel and plowed two kids. One of them didn't make it and now he is sitting in prison doing ten to life. I've seen people OD , I have had friends die, but I can tell you for a fact non of that ever comes close to the pain my friend feels everyday. Your better than this bro if you really want to do it you will... Best of luck mane and stay safe...
 
well i aint gonna lie , , basically i just spent last money i could afford to without dipping into living money (food, gas , etc) to get high 2 more days..............i have my subs for next few days before schoool . i gotta find a way to wean off my klonopin too , or at least make it last until next script..........its gonna hurt. havent been buying more zannys at least. really i agree with n.a. ppl i need to go to rehab but i start school monday and im 3 classes away from an associates degree and my dad says im cut off financially if i went away (he is in charge of my trust fund) So i really have to just force myself to get thru the pain..............other than that everything sucks because i got in car accident(wasnt nodding was pulling up to a toll looking down for change) , lost my girl , and job.....................
 
didnt get fired he just says they have no business right now so no hours for me but that always is the nice way of firing yuo . i was late one morning plus i was never good enough for the chef. also they caught me nodding like 5 times and in the bathroom a lot..............ive lost like 10 jobs this year
 
Damn bro I'm sorry to hear about lossing all the jobs. When I was towards the end I quit some pretty high paying jobs just cause it was interferring with my drug life. It's a busy habit to try and stay high all the time. What did you think of NA? I went for about three months and decided it really wasn't for me but some of the stories I heard and people I met really made a difference when I finally did decide to quit. I was one semester away from getting my Associates when I dropped out due to severe alcoholism and I was going into my senior year of my Bachelor's degree when I had a love affair with speed balls. I know what it's like man my dad paid for all my stuff rent, tuition, phone, food, drugs (due to lying to him) and he cut me off the second he found out what I was up to. I had to fend for myself and I was scared shitless I had no idea what I was gonna do I had to make a choice to either get my shit together then or go live on the streets in Denver with winter a month away. The dope will always be there man and everything in life is temporary. You never know what is gonna happen from day to day thats what makes it so interesting. People will learn to forgive and in time you'll move past this. You'll look back on as if it was just a short blip in the grand scheme of your life... Anyways bro, keep us updated and I hope you the best.
 
My plan is i haev 2 and a half suboxone . take a whole for 2 days , then a half , then a quarter 2 days and stop
and i am weaning off klonopin by lowering dose every 3 days
 
Hell yeah now your talkin'! Sounds like a great plan man try to stick to it as best you can. Your already making huge steps in the right direction. Keep it up bro you got a lot of people that got your back.... your not alone in this!
 
Bojangles69 said:
This is actually a really smart post.

I'm not sure how much money Jake is making, but even if hes making more than a $100 a week its usually the same thing.
Get your money friday, blow it all in 2-3 days max, then be back withdrawing on monday/tuesday and scheming to get more drugs when you know damn well you're gonna be suffering half of every week anyway cause you never have enough money in the first place.

It really paints a more objective picture I think of how the process goes, but the sad fact of reality is that addicts are just as addicted to the swings of feeling sickness/high as they are to the drugs. So I imagine even if Jake doesn't realize it its actually the entire process that keep drawing him in, not just the dope.
In a sadistic kind of way it just makes life "exciting", that is untill your ODin in your car going 75mph on the parkway. Next time he might not be so lucky and just "nod out", next time who knows what will happen.
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Damn, ever time i see your name i want one of those biscuits with grape jelly, mmmmm.
 
Honestly I would suggest the opposite. Going through wds of opiates can be very depression, restless, and make you feel very anxious. Benzos for me took a lot longer to truly feel better from due to actually having anxiety attacks and so on. Basically it took about a month until I could really calm myself down with natural things like meditation, working out or whatever. If your not in the right state of mind going off both at the same time could be very dangerous as well. Your best bet would be to quit the dope with the subs you have planned on then, work on the benzos in what ever fashion you see fit, ie. (weening, cold turkey, etc.) After you quit the dope you will gain some more of your self-esteem and willpower back which will make quitting the Benzos easier. I don't know though everyone reacts differently to shit.
 
I was taking klonopin and opiates everyday, and I actually quit the opiates first then the klonopin. I did this for about 3 years, so I kind of get where your comming from a little.

However what I figured out once I quit the klonopin. Is that it was causing me to have extreme drug seeking tendencies, it changed who I really was. I think it also made me feel depressed so I fixed that with opiates. Klonopin definently fucks with your mind one way or another. But I didn't know this until I quit.

What you need to do is switch to valium, that will bring you down. Then quit taking valium. Quit the klonopin, trust me, and things will be alot easier. Your mind can think more once you get rid of the klonopin. Plus sense your still doing opiates anyways, it will help cure your anxiety. Once your off the klonopin you can focus on the opiates, you gotta knock out 1 thing at a time. You cant quit them both at once.

Good luck.
 
i dont know . it feels almost impossible to do on my own but im too scared to tell my parents and the anger and hurt from that will crush me and them and i wont have a chance to get my associates degree which im so close to . if i had the money i think id keep on using
 
^ Are your parents going to be more hurt by you admiting you need help with a problem, or will they be more hurt when you go back to prison, or wind up dead ?

Theres no reason you can't get your degree after you clean up. School will always be there. You can always finish when your life is together. I'm not saying stop school because you need to get straight, it could potentially be done while getting clean.. but you really need to prioritize my man.
 
got a little weed today to help me in next few days too. so weed, a few zannys, and subs should be good to stop H for a bit.
 
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