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Today I am thankful for... ver. 2: thankful for all the darksiders!

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I am thankful for my husband. We are truly an example of opposites attracting. That has never been easy once the initial ecstasy of lust and newness faded. But no matter what, we have dived headfirst into the hard stuff over and over again, for ourselves and for each other, trying to forge a partnership built on trust and understanding and respect for our differences. It's exhausting sometimes and it is tempting to see the never-ending nature of our struggles as failures. I think we are reaching beyond that finally. Today, I am reflecting on all we have been through together--the financial struggles, the stress of raising kids, our polar opposite personalities and life views, losing our parents and the ultimate and most unwelcome bond of all, losing our son. No one in this world, besides us, can ever know the totality of that experience. It is a strange bond, but a profound one. Knowing that there is someone that truly understands the vast and infinite nature of that loss is like having a twin in this life.
 
today I'm grateful to cry and to hurt:
it means I am clean and feeling shit like a "normal person". yes sometimes its uncomfortable, but today I can live through being uncomfortable and NOT using.
 
^:)

Today I'm thankful for my life. There are plenty of times in my life where I wanted to give up or was very close to leaving this world, but I'm still here for some reason or another.
 
Serotonin101 said:
today I'm grateful to cry and to hurt:
it means I am clean and feeling shit like a "normal person". yes sometimes its uncomfortable, but today I can live through being uncomfortable and NOT using.
Click to expand...

I know exactly what you mean Sero. Feeling normal emotions again after opiate detox can be real difficult for sure, we have to relearn how to cope with the intensity of them and there can be a hell of a lot of negative ones in early recovery but they are a sign that we have regained what it is to be a thinking, feeling human being. They are proof that we are recovering the full expression of our true selves, to be human is to feel. :)

And Spork, I'm so glad you're still with us. I think you're great, you know that. ( Don't you? ) <3
 
I am very thankful for all the people that create this community, the people that reach out for help--the courage in that--and the people that offer their help. There is not a single doubt in my mind that the kindness of one person at one pivotal moment can save a life by saying, "I hear you. I understand how you feel."
 
I am really thankful that I talked to spork today randomly about college. It made me make a quick phone call to my old community college to ask about my 3 years of credits. I was convinced they had expired and I had to start over. They were so nice and helpful and quick and told me I am 3 classes (9 credits) away from graduating with an associates degree in general studies. (I know not much, but better than wasted credits) The 3 classes are: a general history, a 3 credit elective of my choice and speech (eek). But I am soooooooooo thankful. They told me the credits never expire and I can take the credits either online (because their college is in PA and I'm in FL) or I could take the credits at my FL community college and transfer them back and apply for graduation =D!
 
I'm in a speech class right now (public speaking). its not so bad. I get to pick my topics which I speak on which really help. its really not so bad but I like talking, I usually end up going over my time limit lol.

I'm thankful today that I'm not as pathetic and bitter as my alcoholic mother. two days in a row, while she thinks I'm asleep, she proceeds to talk shit on me to my dad (she's jealous of my progress). thankful I don't react the way I used to and verbally destroy her.
 
Even though my life isn't going how I imagined it, I am thankful for the every day chance to start something new and try to better myself.
 
I am thankful that I live in a place that frequently looks like heaven ; it reminds me what heaven is. Heaven is recognizing the beauty around you. I'll post a picture or two in the photo threads.
 
I'm thankful I didnt overindulge on this coconut custard pie thing... been eating pretty clean for the better part of a year, would be ashamed if I threw all that work away.
 
Being Alive
Becoming More alive
Shamanic Massage...learning again...and its helping in a lot of ways
Music
Paint
 
I am thankful that my depression is nearly gone! Hope it lasts.
I am thankful that all the sickness my family and I experienced last week is over - it was an illness the ER doctor said could be fatal.

I am thankful that it seems I will do well in college this semester.
I am very thankful that my mom is still alive and still doing well after over six years with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. There is a small subset of patients with this diagnosis that live 10 years, 20 years, or even longer managing it as a chronic health problem - many of those die of other things, including old age. She was given less than 20% or making it five years and most with her diagnosis last two years or less. I think she is likely in that long term survivor group given that she continues to respond exceptionally well to chemo. It also does not make her as sick as it does most women.

Very thankful my brother is getting paroled and will soon be spending some time in my household and hopefully will get a hold on his life - I am going to try to help him as best as I can. Including trying to keep him away from drugs, especially alcohol as he has had a drinking problem and drinking seems to get him into lost of trouble (he has to stay clean of everything at least until drug testing is no longer an issue). He was drinking over 20 beers per day before he went back to prison. I haven't seen him in about two years.

I am thankful for having hope in many areas of my life now.
I am thankful that I have been able to do things to make a positive impact on the world - I don't feel so powerless anymore.
 
That I have the ability to drive to the store and get ice cream with all the toppings i want. Lol :/
 
^That's definitely something to be thankful for. :) <3

I'm thankful for my kitty, who never fails to make me smile even when I'm in the worst of moods. <3
 
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