First, don’t beat yourself up if you mess up. There’s always tomorrow. Heck, there’s always the very next moment after you slip up. If you do get high, don’t spiral into shame or self-hate. A slip doesn’t erase your progress. What matters most is how you respond afterward. Learn from it, reset, and keep moving forward. You know yourself better than anyone.
You have to keep yourself busy. Video games, TV, reading a book, cooking, whatever works. Try to get some exercise in too. A big part of this is learning how to distract yourself in healthier ways and not letting yourself sit in boredom or bad headspaces.
I’m still figuring this out myself. Months ago I threw away grams of RC benzos and walked away from that for good. I stick to my diazepam prescription as prescribed and try to be smart and careful about anything else. Everyone’s path looks different, but the goal is staying safe and staying honest with yourself.
As William Ernest Henley writes in the closing lines of Invictus:
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.