• ✍️ WORDS ✍️

    Welcome Guest!

  • Words Moderators: Shambles

This sucks

wastedwalrus

wastedwalrus

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 5, 2005
Messages
2,249
I lie in bed
For hours it seems.
Thoughts fill my head
Clouding my dreams.
A hollow sound
I cannot hear,
May amplify
But won’t come near.

I raise a hand
But cannot move.
I lift my lids,
But can’t peer through.
Irony masks
The light of day.
Tragedy strikes
With full array.

It’s blissful when
You know your fate.
It’s soothing when
You know no hate.
But ignorance,
Or so it seems,
Replaces truth
With foolish dreams.
 
I raise a hand
But cannot move.
I lift my lids,
But can’t peer through.
Irony masks
The light of day.
Tragedy strikes
With full array.
Click to expand...

Its interesting that this peice has to do with being in bed and the awakening ritual something that should be comfortable relaxing almost, but there is something holding you back. You mention trajedy in the piece and irony so im not quiet sure the purpose of said bed. It almost seems to me that the person forgets that they are a parapallegic when they wake.
 
Well here's what I realized late last night. The first two stanzas, in some subconscious way (as I was not intending for this to happen) connect my sleep paralysis with my depression. Then along comes the third stanza, discussing the comforts of religion and ignorance, lacking relevance to the rest of the poem.

So, I divided them into two separate poems.

Thank you for your commentaries.
 
wastedwalrus said:
I lie in bed

It’s blissful when
You know your fate.
It’s soothing when
You know no hate.
But ignorance,
Or so it seems,
Replaces truth
With foolish dreams.
Click to expand...

when he initially showed me this piece over aim, he presented only this stanza and asked what i thought.

i find it simple and elegant. has a natural flow. i like :)

i also think that this stanza is MUCH stronger as a stand-alone poem, than it is when combined with the other 2 stanzas, which are more cloudy in their metaphor.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top