this post is definitely untitled.

[mealltach]

*******
think think think think think think think
i hold my head in my hands
this is where the fun begins
MAKEITSTOP stop.
(i don't want to be alone) PLEASE MAKE IT
stop.
stop.
calm.
deep breaths to mask the pain
deep breaths to sustain
a level of sanity
which brings life to death
claws.
dig beneath the mess, turning purple
death longs to break the silence
anxiety leaks out secrets
wind blows light towards day
can't.
don't believe them mother, tomorrow's pernicious
don't breathe too softly
anger leaves out something
which, beautifully, lifts the density
(i am hungry. i need something.
i can't help but wonder if this is
what insanity is like)
You will hate me. You will look at me
with hatred and disgrace. You will
tell me how horrible I am, and I will listen...I will listen intently.
You will curse me.
i'm so sorry...
how can i fill so many voids?
i didn't want to hurt You.
it's all happening in slow motion
help me...
------------------
look closer.

 

[Mellabopper]

::speechless::
wow, this is a powerful poem, definitely written in a stage of strong emotion, no? sounds to me like you were close to almost breaking here... i hope everything turns out for the best...
but the second half of the poem really hit me - i somehow knew exactly what you were feeling (i think) while writing it cause it sounds very similar to my own thoughts at times, some very recently in fact. it gave me the chills.
keep up the good work
hugs
Mellabopper
------------------
animals are for petting!
"does anyone know where we are? because i think i dont have a clue"
"damn the man, save the empire!" - empire records
Corruption is key.

 

[mealltach]

Thank you so much for responding, Mel. I really appreciate your comments...
Yes, this was written in a time of complete and utter chaos. In fact, this period is still going strong...it's not easy.
I am very glad to know that there are people out there who know what it feels like to be at a breaking point, regardless of the circumstances that lead to this...
I am so close to breaking, it isn't even funny....but we continue to live regardless of such things, don't we?
Thank you for reading this......thank you very much. That is all I can say right now.....

 

[Mellabopper]

hey if you ever need to talk, vent, bitch about anything, need advice, what have you, i'm here for ya - just drop me an e-mail and i'd be more than willing to listen/respond or what not. shitty times suck - i totally know how it is.
best of luck to ya
hugs
[email protected]
------------------
animals are for petting!
"does anyone know where we are? because i think i dont have a clue"
"damn the man, save the empire!" - empire records
Corruption is key.

 

[mealltach]

Email address duely noted. Likewise, I extend the same offer to you:
[email protected]
I really appreciate this...

I know you are great without even *knowing* you.......hmmmmm.....
Things are getting better.....