Tryptamino
Bluelight Crew
Me too, the thing is, all the people I know who shot heroin only once in their life OD'd and died from that first shot.
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OD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic
Heroin Thinking of moving on to heroin.
- Thread starter Lycopene
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Me too, the thing is, all the people I know who shot heroin only once in their life OD'd and died from that first shot.
And that, my good friend, is why I am here.
Bill
Bluelight Crew
Read this post ten times and then do it again
Simplicity is totally void, especially if your first roa would be slamming dope
Like I said we can sit here and tell you all the harm reduction, moderation, and opinions in the world, but like the majority, it takes you to actually experience it and go through it before thinking back to that Bluelight thread where they told you it would most likely be a bad idea, thus kicking yourself in the ass eternally
But by this time, you could be dead, in jail, or homeless
Especially if you're already thinking about iv'ing fucking heroin with no wd symtoms
BlueHues
Bluelighter
Where are you going to GET this first magical dose of IV heroin? Just curious....
Bill
Bluelight Crew
No bloody clue. I will look around the streets of Seattle or use the "deep web" if I have to. Not sure what we're allowed to talk about here exactly (pretty new, obviously), so I'll leave it at that.
Thanks. But that's not what I'm looking for. I know exactly what I'm getting myself into. I know how bad it is, and I can GUARANTEE you that whatever it is isn't as bad as what I'm going through right now.
Benzodiazepine withdrawal is significantly worse, and I went off a multi-year prescription cold turkey. I know what I'm doing.
JD55
Bluelighter
This is sad, because we can all tell you've already made up your mind. You want us to see it from your perspective, but as others have mentioned, your situation has been their perspective you just don't wanna hear it. I hate to get tough with you but what makes you think *starting* with I.V'ing you'd last ten years before something might happen. I had the drug game on lock, didnt need a message board to answer my questions and lasted a year before the first OD and trouble the law. Money dries up, purity changes, just to many variables for something bad to NOT happen.
Please don't
Please don't
This is sad, because we can all tell you've already made up your mind. You want us to see it from your perspective, but as others have mentioned, your situation has been their perspective you just don't wanna hear it. I hate to get tough with you but what makes you think *starting* with I.V'ing you'd last ten years before something might happen. I had the drug game on lock, didnt need a message board to answer my questions and lasted a year before the first OD and trouble the law. Money dries up, purity changes, just to many variables for something bad to NOT happen.
Please don't
I don't know how long I'd last. I don't know if I'd last. I do know, however, that I have the willpower to stop after the first go if it's something I'd feel myself getting "addicted" to.
I do have my mind made up. I made that clear. I don't want to resort to it, but I will if I have to. That's what I'm saying. If there's something else, I will do that. I just got off the phone with a nurse and I'm going to the ER tomorrow. After that, I will be seeing my doctor. If he doesn't do anything, I will ask to see a pain specialist. If that doesn't work, I will call my Medicaid insurer and see if I can get a referral to a pain clinic. If that doesn't work, I will change my PCP, AGAIN, and see what that doctor says. If he won't give me anything, I will see if he will refer me to a pain clinic. If that doesn't work, then I'm going to heroin (unless I can find oxy or something else on the streets, which I doubt).
That is my plan and I'm sticking to it, unless you kind folks have something else in mind.
JD55, I don't want to. I swear I don't. But you just don't understand. I'm not looking for the high. I'm looking for pain relief. The only reason why I want to go IVing first is because that I want my money to go as far as possible, and 100% bioavailability versus 50% bioavailability means you need half as much of the drug, right? (50% is just an easy number, nothing I looked up.)
I don't know much about it. What ROA should I use first? Someone already said that the best ROA is injecting because of the 100% bioavailability, which I understand.
But what everyone here doesn't understand is that I'm not looking to get high. I'm looking to live my life without pain. I can barely MOVE, people. I'm in THAT much pain. What ELSE do I do if doctors won't listen? Heroin.
Fig
Bluelighter
At the risk of being accused of being insensitive, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you are generally full of shit. Your story is inconsistent in it's details and you are absolutely coming across here as a drug seeker. Aside from the frenetic insistence that you are NOT DRUG SEEKING ( a pretty good tell that you are) nothing adds up. You have this pain since you were 5 but no one believes you? What about from 6-18 years old when you were still living with your parents? Did they try month after month, year after year to find a doctor who would take their chronically-in-pain child, who was surely crying and miserable all of the time, seriously? Or did doctors just shoo them away because they were afraid your parents were drug seeking on your behalf? What about your school? They are bound by law to address the needs of a child who is miserable and crying in pain. Or maybe the doctors thought the school nurse just wanted to snort the 5mg roxicodones from your dentist (who gets roxicodones for wisdom teeth? Oh, wait, let me guess, the pain was "unbearable"?)
Here is the bottom line: everyone here thinks you are lying because almost everyone here is or has been a drug addict of one sort or another. We can smell lies, bullshit, manipulation and drug related fraud from a mile away. We know all the tricks of the trade and you aren't fooling anyone. NO ONE here wants to see you take up heroin because EVERYONE here knows this is the single biggest mistake you could make in your situation. But none of us can stop you. You will do whatever you want. Just don't expect people to continue to engage this seriously when everything you have said so far has been extremely disingenuous.
If you had come on here and said, "hey guys, my life is unmanageable and I feel myself slipping into addiction and am pretty damn sure I'm gonna start shooting junk" folks would have a lot more respect for your situation. We would still try everything to get you to change your mind, but at least we could relate and respect your honesty. Instead, you are trying to pull the same manipulative crap that I suspect has driven away every doctor you are mad at for not giving you what you want. And no one here is that naive.
You say you are schizophrenic and don't take antipsychotics. You have paranoia and hallucinations. You are on SSI and disability. Yet you say you have no insurance? But if this is all true you have Medicaid, which is insurance. Meaning any doctor you go to will know you are schizophrenic and on disability. Unlike everyone I know who has legitimate chronic pain, you seem unable here to adequately explain exactly what the issue is. It is coming from "around your elbow" from a childhood break almost 20 years ago, gets "worse by the day" yet is quite nonspecific. If all of this is what you are telling your 50 (!) doctors, no wonder they won't prescribe. You can insist all you want, but your entire story has a great big sign on it that says "I AM A DRUG SEEKER". Like it or not. That's why you can't get a script.
Shoot, snort, plug or smoke it, if you are intent on doing heroin then by all means do it. Just don't tell us we didn't warn you and don't blame anyone but yourself when you realize how bad you fucked up. But we will still be here to support you when you come back with a thread about kicking in a couple years, if you make it that long. Because as exasperating as all of this is to read, we really do care what happens to you. Because no one here would wish heroin on their worst enemy, let alone someone who is lost, hurting and just trying to get their world together.
Think twice. There will be no going back. Good luck.
fig
Here is the bottom line: everyone here thinks you are lying because almost everyone here is or has been a drug addict of one sort or another. We can smell lies, bullshit, manipulation and drug related fraud from a mile away. We know all the tricks of the trade and you aren't fooling anyone. NO ONE here wants to see you take up heroin because EVERYONE here knows this is the single biggest mistake you could make in your situation. But none of us can stop you. You will do whatever you want. Just don't expect people to continue to engage this seriously when everything you have said so far has been extremely disingenuous.
If you had come on here and said, "hey guys, my life is unmanageable and I feel myself slipping into addiction and am pretty damn sure I'm gonna start shooting junk" folks would have a lot more respect for your situation. We would still try everything to get you to change your mind, but at least we could relate and respect your honesty. Instead, you are trying to pull the same manipulative crap that I suspect has driven away every doctor you are mad at for not giving you what you want. And no one here is that naive.
You say you are schizophrenic and don't take antipsychotics. You have paranoia and hallucinations. You are on SSI and disability. Yet you say you have no insurance? But if this is all true you have Medicaid, which is insurance. Meaning any doctor you go to will know you are schizophrenic and on disability. Unlike everyone I know who has legitimate chronic pain, you seem unable here to adequately explain exactly what the issue is. It is coming from "around your elbow" from a childhood break almost 20 years ago, gets "worse by the day" yet is quite nonspecific. If all of this is what you are telling your 50 (!) doctors, no wonder they won't prescribe. You can insist all you want, but your entire story has a great big sign on it that says "I AM A DRUG SEEKER". Like it or not. That's why you can't get a script.
Shoot, snort, plug or smoke it, if you are intent on doing heroin then by all means do it. Just don't tell us we didn't warn you and don't blame anyone but yourself when you realize how bad you fucked up. But we will still be here to support you when you come back with a thread about kicking in a couple years, if you make it that long. Because as exasperating as all of this is to read, we really do care what happens to you. Because no one here would wish heroin on their worst enemy, let alone someone who is lost, hurting and just trying to get their world together.
Think twice. There will be no going back. Good luck.
fig
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if 300 a month on weed is alot of money for you, then dont pick up a needle thats gonna cost you 300 a week JUST TO FEEL NORMAL after a few weeks of everyday IV use.
the reason pain patients get prescriptions, is because they know what they are getting in every dose, the dope game is always a crap shoot, even if you just bought from the same guy earlier in the day, could still be a totally different batch.
you sound like an angsty teen rebelling against his parents.
the reason pain patients get prescriptions, is because they know what they are getting in every dose, the dope game is always a crap shoot, even if you just bought from the same guy earlier in the day, could still be a totally different batch.
you sound like an angsty teen rebelling against his parents.
Lady Codone
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2008
- Messages
- 2,134
Methadone sucks, but if I were you I'd try to get some. It has many benefits over heroin (can be obtained legally, comes in standardized doses, less abuse potential, etc). There's a reason people switch from a dope habit to methadone, and that's because it's still possible to live a semi-normal life on it. If you're truly not trying to get high and plan to use opiates for a long time, this is your best option. Look up methadone clinics in your area and figure out how to get into one.
If you decide to do heroin, the safest methods would be orally, snorting, smoking, then IV (in that order).
The reality is that some people need opiates for the long term. It's not ideal but it's the truth. Heroin is a terrible candidate for long-term use...quite possibly the worst.
If you decide to do heroin, the safest methods would be orally, snorting, smoking, then IV (in that order).
The reality is that some people need opiates for the long term. It's not ideal but it's the truth. Heroin is a terrible candidate for long-term use...quite possibly the worst.
If you have any other questions regarding my condition because you feel that I haven't addressed something properly or coherently, or because you simply want to know, do not hesitate to ask. I will answer everything I can to the best of my ability without risking my identity.
EDIT:
Thank you for your reply. Some people DO need opiates for the long-term, simple as that. I stated that earlier, and I am a person like that. i can't help it. I will look into a methadone clinic. I do NOT want to get high. I want to feel better. I want to live. If this will do that for me, it is what I want. And again, thanks for your post. It was very helpful, and you didn't sound like a total dickbag like this guy:
I AM 23, LIVING WITH MY MOTHER BECAUSE I AM SICK, TRYING TO GET HELP. MY MOTHER IS TRYING TO FIND HELP TOO. FUCK OFF.
EDIT2: About my honesty. Isn't this honest? I'm honestly coming to you with what I plan on doing. I honestly want help. I want advice on how to take the heroin if I go that route, or OTHER options if there are any (such as the Methadone recommendation which I will follow up on first, before the heroin). I don't see why you can't respect me. It's not fair. All I'm doing is trying to stop feeling pain. What am I doing bad? What am I doing that is so wrong, other than preparing to take an illegal drug?
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Fig
Bluelighter
If you have never asked about pain medication except for once, why would doctors accuse you of drug seeking?
You say you are drug naive yet you have gone though benzo WD, and now take 40 mg diazepam per day? That is not drug naive.
Why can't you eat 500 cal twice per day? The minimum recommended net calories for someone on a highly restrictive diet is 900. Are you trying to lose weight? If not, 500 is like a big ham sandwich with cheese and some juice. Or one big hot dog.
And I had edited to correct Medicaid. My autocorrect made it Medicare, and I caught that. Thx.
You say you are drug naive yet you have gone though benzo WD, and now take 40 mg diazepam per day? That is not drug naive.
Why can't you eat 500 cal twice per day? The minimum recommended net calories for someone on a highly restrictive diet is 900. Are you trying to lose weight? If not, 500 is like a big ham sandwich with cheese and some juice. Or one big hot dog.
And I had edited to correct Medicaid. My autocorrect made it Medicare, and I caught that. Thx.
Fig
Bluelighter
Why are you visiting your dad if he was so abusive and neglectful by not addressing your damaged arm? Wouldn't you be like as far away from his influence as possible as you try to get your arm taken care of? I'm not being sarcastic, it seems counterproductive.
Forgive me, I meant my "knowledge" of illict substances, not drugs in general (clearly, as I've been on MANY APs, ADs, and AEDs). I can't eat 500 twice a day because Latuda gave me what I refer to as "clinical anorexia". It's not anorexia nervosa, so I don't say simply "anorexia" as most people refer that to the -nervosa derivative, which I don't have. I went from 222 down to 142. When I was on Latuda I had to force myself to eat 350 calories in one sitting to take my once-daily dose.
I was taking 1mg Klonopin QID and 2mg Xanax for breakthrough anxiety PRN. That went on for a few years, and it stopped. Now I'm on 40mg diazepam for its anxiolytic AND muscle relaxant properties due to the dystonia in my left leg.
Fig
Bluelighter
What makes you think if anyone can kick heroin you can, when you couldn't kick benzos?
No worries, I understand. I'm visiting my dad because my sister just moved to Vegas with him. And her daughter. I want to see my niece as much as possible. I also love my dad. We have a good relationship, he just doesn't understand my medical issues. We don't talk about it. We haven't for years (until recently when the schizophrenia popped up, but that was only two or three times because he kept getting so angry).
He also didn't really know because I was so secretive. He knew in the beginning, but he didn't think it was serious.
Also, I COULD kick the benzos. That's the whole point. I kicked them cold turkey. I just HAD to go back on them due to dystonia and I decided that it wasn't worth living with anxiety. I went on the benzos in the first place for severe anxiety. They're doctor prescribed and never abused, so what's the problem?
And that, sir, is why I believe I could kick heroin if anyone else can. Also, I didn't notice that you edited to correct it to Medicaid. My bad.
Fig
Bluelighter
K, well here is what I'm observing: many doctors can not put their finger on the exact nature of your pain. Your psychological status indicates you are prone to delusions of persecution along with hallucinations and disabling schizophrenia, you are non-compliant in regard to anti-psychotics to address these symptoms of disease, you are a self-admitted anorexic (which any doc would observe), you are prescribed high dose benzodiazepines for anxiety.
These all preclude a responsible physician from prescribing opiates for chronic pain. That's why no one has done it for you. You say you are looking for an alternative answer and heroin is a last resort, but you are not actually taking every last step to avoid it. Seek help with the anorexia so you can take Geodon or another AP medication with your high calorie meals and get your condition under control. That will relieve a lot of your anxiety so you can taper down to a reasonable level with the benzos, then your patient profile will not scream out red flags for addiction, self-medication and overdose potential to your GP. Those are solid steps in alternative to using heroin to control your pain.
These all preclude a responsible physician from prescribing opiates for chronic pain. That's why no one has done it for you. You say you are looking for an alternative answer and heroin is a last resort, but you are not actually taking every last step to avoid it. Seek help with the anorexia so you can take Geodon or another AP medication with your high calorie meals and get your condition under control. That will relieve a lot of your anxiety so you can taper down to a reasonable level with the benzos, then your patient profile will not scream out red flags for addiction, self-medication and overdose potential to your GP. Those are solid steps in alternative to using heroin to control your pain.
BlueHues
Bluelighter
I grow weary of the length of the OPs posts.......
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