Benzos Think I've knoked benzos on the head and maybe congratulations are in order

[Ninae]

Haven't touched them in 14 days and I honestly feel much better. I'm naturally manic-depressive (more manic) so benzos bring me more down than up.

I only found the value of them when I was suffering from stimulant side-effects, and even worse, benzo withdrawal. But apart from that they're pretty useless and my natural state is much higher.

Anyone can relate?

 

[Gyrospeck]

Congrats!

I agree. Benzos are a tool rather than a recreational drug. They are great at what they do, but its a narrow spectrum.

 

[coors light]

congrats my man.

 

[Herpe The Clown]

Hell yeah congratulations, trust me man it's gets even easier with time, once you've been clear headed for a while you realize exactly how useless benzo's really are and how they really only negatively affected your life. I'm coming up on six months off em, if I can do it you can do it too.

 

[username13]

Gald you decided to put them down. One side effect can be depression so if you are already prone due to manic depression, best not to mess with this drug. Sure can relate. A daily 10mgs of valium was dragging me down big time. I dropped em a few months back. So pleased but still having some paws...anyway i just say this too shall pass, over n over

What benzos were you on? How long?

 

[Lady Codone]

Congrats! Keep it up.

Benzo withdrawal can be hellish or even fatal. I've never been through it and don't intend to. There are other less addictive ways to sedate yourself, such as valerian root and kava. 500 mg of kava puts me right to sleep after a stimulant bender.

 

[Ninae]

Thanks everyone.

Yea, I never really had any problem with them until legal ones like Etizolam became available to take in unlimited amounts. Then last summer I had a violent stimulant overdose that nearly killed me and another one that made me collapse and have an unconscious seizure in the hospital corridor. Both times they put me on IV Valium which was obviously a godsend in that state.

So that made it pretty clear to me they do indeed have some value and I also found them to be helpful for the side-effects I had after those overdoses which were very traumatic experiences (both times had to be taken in an ambulance) and I struggled with some anxiety after that which I previously hadn't been bothered by.

And they WERE really helpful for that. For some reason I was now also able to achieve a mild high or enjoyable sense of calm and well-being rather than just boring sedation. Not that much to speak of, but definitely better than being sober and anxious. This might also have been because Etizolam is a bit more euphoric than other benzos plus I would take large amounts (like 5-10 a day). Other benzos like Valium or Rivotril I haven't really enjoyed at all. The only ones I really enjoyed were Rohypnol that I got hold of just before they disappeared, but they were something special.

Anyway, I think the stimulant abuse might have changed me in some way so I felt a need for sedatives, if only for having an unconscious association with them being something that helps me and something I need. But it only got really bad around Christmas when I'd been using every day for over a month and finally got dependent enough to suffer withdrawals. I've always been able to take them on and off with no problem, but I guess this was too much too long. And my first withdrawal was REALLY bad with delirium and cramps with blood pressure and heart-beat through the roof (was probably lucky to survive). So after that I seriously felt the need for them.

And since then I've gone through it probably 4 or 5 times more (I would black out and eat all my pills). Though I didn't get it was benzo withdrawal at first, as I wasn't aware it could start up again after only a few days of use. So I thought I was seriously ill and going psychotic and went to the doctor several times but they could do nothing to help.

Anyway, I'll try my damnest not to get dragged into it again. The small "high" just isn't worth the price you pay for it and compared with drugs that give a real high it's just laughable. When I got sober I was able to experience these higher emotional states that I hadn't had access to on the pills and realised I actually felt higher (though in a natural sense) and I just realised I didn't want to waste my time and money on that anymore. Especially when the harm they can do is as bad as it is.

 

[Phat5o]

Thanks everyone.

Yea, I never really had any problem with them until legal ones like Etizolam became available to take in unlimited amounts. Then last summer I had a violent stimulant overdose that nearly killed me and another one that made me collapse and have an unconscious seizure in the hospital corridor. Both times they put me on IV Valium which was obviously a godsend in that state.

So that made it pretty clear to me they do indeed have some value and I also found them to be helpful for the side-effects I had after those overdoses which were very traumatic experiences (both times had to be taken in an ambulance) and I struggled with some anxiety after that which I previously hadn't been bothered by.

And they WERE really helpful for that. For some reason I was now also able to achieve a mild high or enjoyable sense of calm and well-being rather than just boring sedation. Not that much to speak of, but definitely better than being sober and anxious. This might also have been because Etizolam is a bit more euphoric than other benzos plus I would take large amounts (like 5-10 a day). Other benzos like Valium or Rivotril I haven't really enjoyed at all. The only ones I really enjoyed were Rohypnol that I got hold of just before they disappeared, but they were something special.

Anyway, I think the stimulant abuse might have changed me in some way so I felt a need for sedatives, if only for having an unconscious association with them being something that helps me and something I need. But it only got really bad around Christmas when I'd been using every day for over a month and finally got dependent enough to suffer withdrawals. I've always been able to take them on and off with no problem, but I guess this was too much too long. And my first withdrawal was REALLY bad with delirium and cramps with blood pressure and heart-beat through the roof (was probably lucky to survive). So after that I seriously felt the need for them.

And since then I've gone through it probably 4 or 5 times more (I would black out and eat all my pills). Though I didn't get it was benzo withdrawal at first, as I wasn't aware it could start up again after only a few days of use. So I thought I was seriously ill and going psychotic and went to the doctor several times but they could do nothing to help.

Anyway, I'll try my damnest not to get dragged into it again. The small "high" just isn't worth the price you pay for it and compared with drugs that give a real high it's just laughable. When I got sober I was able to experience these higher emotional states that I hadn't had access to on the pills and realised I actually felt higher (though in a natural sense) and I just realised I didn't want to waste my time and money on that anymore. Especially when the harm they can do is as bad as it is.

wow i was nearly in identical situation around christmas time minus the stimulant use and overdose. just opiate use. i can totally relate to how you feel about benzos. even though the withdrawal was not major it still really sucked. i was in the same boat of on and off use and stints. having gone thru benzo wd a couple times prior i should've known better. i also did not know i was withdrawaling from benzos the first 3 times i just thought i was goin nuts.i feel way better off them now, i've stopped them 6 months ago. i had a lot of pain and couldn't sleep so i kinda slipped up 3 days ago and took one, feel a little disappointed i broke my benzo fast to be honest. anyhow, i don't plan on taking them anymore. life without benzos>

 

[Ninae]

I actually felt a real sense of ecstacy looking at the beautiful scenery today which there's no way you can feel numbed out on benzos (or any downer). It's more like "Oh, that's nice" but it doesn't really get through to you and move you in the same way. Like you can do with or without it.

It's the same thing with music. Listening to music on drugs can be great, but more because of the drug than the music, and again you can do with or without it. I don't think Your body is really capable of producing the chemicals leading to these states when you're already doped up on other chemicals.

I also suspect large doses of Gaba-drugs reduce output of dopamine and endorphins to some degree. Sure, it allows for some, as it makes you feel kind of good, but there's no chance of reaching those powerful states of ecstacy that you can without them. Opiates are different as they push out dopamine and endorphins really hard - but still numb you to natural experiences. It's almost like it's indifferent what you do as you stilll experience the same level of pleasure - sure you would rather be watching a movie you love, but watching a shitty one isn't all that different.

 

[Phat5o]

yea i hear ya. they're definitely more depressing than anything. i get sad and tired on them. after a while of taking them and 'aquiring the taste' it gets different though to some degree for me.

 

[dankplantgrower]

Good job dude. Ive been clean of Xanax for probably just shy of a month now. Did you get nightmares the first week or so of quitting? Sleep was tough and when I finally dozed off it was usually a damn nightmare. I had what I believe was a "night terror" the 2nd or 3rd day. I woke from a nightmare in my pitch black room and had no idea where I was. I felt around the room frantically and started banging on the walls, I felt completely trapped, heart racing, I think I yelled for help a couple times. My roommate busted in to investigate the racket and when the lights came on it was like my reality shifted. WTF? Im in my room and everything is fine? Luckily my roommate saw what was happening and comforted the shit outta me.

Ive kicked some fairly deep meth and booze addictions, but never had an experience as intense as that. My adrenaline and fight or flight were in full gear for no reason at all. That night I came to respect the power of benzos a lot more. I didnt even have a huge habit either, just stretched a couple footballs throughout the day. I imagine the big Xanax users go through some shitty weeks when they kick.

One thing you had to your advantage is your personality condition, if you feel "higher" with your usual mania. I felt much more down and unmotivated without it. 8 hour work days seemed more like 12. I didnt have my usual patience dealing with testy situations either, had a lot of irritability. And my anxiety was through the roof. For being on the mellower side of the drug spectrum, I was surprised at just how powerful benzo can grab you. Congrats again. Hopefully one day you might be able to use this experience to help others in life going down the rocky path of withdrawals.