I've been taking methadone daily since i was 17. at the beginning of the year i was at 45mg liquid in the morining just to not get sick. and then whatever i could get my hands on later in the day on top of that. about 8 months ago it started to get out of hand after some family past. i was having really bad side effects. NO sex drive, couldn't eat, super sleepy all the time, (took 6 hour naps during the middle of the day) woke up with my arms asleep, couldnt go to the bathroom, no concetration. It was so bad my usually supportive girlfriend was ready to leave me.
then about 2 months ago something just.... changed. i just was over my addiction. its different than every other time ive said "I'm quitting" just like all the kids that say "their never drinking again" after a hard night of partying. they typically are boozin it up the next weekend. i dont crave it like i used to. right now i've managed to taper down to 4.5 mg in the morning and 2mg at night. it just happened i didnt have to fight it, almost like my talerance has gone down a lot. the 4.5 in the morning still gets me feeling good. and the 2mg at night scares off the sweats.
the strange/scarry thing is is that i dont know what to do with myself. i find myself reallllly bored all the time. i feel that might be a really bad thing knowing that i do drugs when im bored. i rebuild motors and work on my cars on my free time, and eat more, but i am having trouble coping with regular life.
time that i would usually be scoring or doing my dumb rituals, or fixating on when my next score will be, im sitting on the couch flipping endless reruns of judge judy, or criminal minds.
anything that you guys know of that might help me adjust?
then about 2 months ago something just.... changed. i just was over my addiction. its different than every other time ive said "I'm quitting" just like all the kids that say "their never drinking again" after a hard night of partying. they typically are boozin it up the next weekend. i dont crave it like i used to. right now i've managed to taper down to 4.5 mg in the morning and 2mg at night. it just happened i didnt have to fight it, almost like my talerance has gone down a lot. the 4.5 in the morning still gets me feeling good. and the 2mg at night scares off the sweats.
the strange/scarry thing is is that i dont know what to do with myself. i find myself reallllly bored all the time. i feel that might be a really bad thing knowing that i do drugs when im bored. i rebuild motors and work on my cars on my free time, and eat more, but i am having trouble coping with regular life.
time that i would usually be scoring or doing my dumb rituals, or fixating on when my next score will be, im sitting on the couch flipping endless reruns of judge judy, or criminal minds.
anything that you guys know of that might help me adjust?
