They're Lying to Me

I don't know how to do anything.


How to function properly.


How to not fucking go insane.


Everyone here now thinks I'm a fucking asshole.


I only acted that way because no matter where I posted, I was followed and attacked.


Very first time I posted, I was insulted.


But that's whatever now. I'm just not going to contribute to things anymore.
 
You have a lot going on right now. I think the best thing you can do is work with a new doctor, and STOP drinking alcohol. Alcohol may trigger a dopamine response and may initially feel good, but it quickly makes you feel bad (anger, hurt, resentments) and the more you use, the worse you feel.

You need to stop focusing on other people, it seems like you have a lot of resentments and you're so young. Focus on what you have, and what you want, and create a plan to get what you want. If you want love and happiness, you have to change your attitude. Focusing on other people isn't going to improve your life at all, it's going to make you progressively more miserable. I think your biggest focus should be getting your medications correct.
 
I sometimes go weeks without my meds.

As others have said--with the patience of Job--taking meds isn't optional. They won't help you without sustained, use as directed.

I'm not saying this to be a dick. It's simply true. You'll feel much better if you take these medications as your doctor intends.
 
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