Please take a moment to stop and look at yourself, and be extremely thankful for the situation you have here. Why? Becuz That aint even 2 weeks of use. You think you got it bad, you are like a kid whose mom wouldnt let him borrow her car complaining about how bad his parents suck to the kid whose dad molests and beats him. Its bad to YOU, and thats mainly the important thing, cuz you are the one that has to go thru it, but I am just tryin to give you some perspective here. I aint tryin to minimize your struggle, but the way you been talking about this shit since I seen you try dope for the first time like a month ago, was :
LOLAWESOMEDOPEIMSOCOOL
to
LOLIMAEXPERIENCEDDOPEUSER
to
OMGLIFESUXADDICTION
in like a few weeks time. First of all, 3 to 6 bags is not a exorbitant amount to do over the course of a day and using that much dont necessarily mean you got a high natural tolerance. In the name of harm reduction I aint suggesting that somebody DO that much daily, especially a new user, dont get me wrong. I am just pointing out to you that it is a reasonably small dose for someone with decent experience, and even a person with moderate tolerance could do that much spaced out over a 24 hr period. I know people who shoot a brick a day, yes 50 bags. And it aint cool and it aint fun. The way you talk about this shit, it honestly seems like you are playing up your use for some reason. Like you are playing to the camera when you type. Lord only know why, but thats how it seems. I dont want to assume that you are doing that, and I am sayin this respectfully, but its impossible not to get that feeling from your posts and your tone. Im sorry if I am wrong but that is honestly how it seems.
You are maximizing the amount that you are doing by saying , i been doin AT LEAST this much, as if that is a large amount, and only a person with a 'high natural tolerance' would be using that much when that simply aint the case. You are now experiencing the mild withdrawals that come along with very short term, relatively small-time heroin use.
I suggest that you take a break from your lil honeymoon beginner phase with heroin before you learn wat a real addiction to dope is actually like. Be happy that you are in a place now where you could turn back. Ill tell you this much it gets a fuck of a lot harder once you been down that road 5+ years, so your 12 days is really not too far gone to cut your losses and fold.
I aint saying this to be condescending, or act like your pain aint legitimate becuz even a small run in with dope can really fuck your shit up and I kno that you are hurtin just as bad as anybody else out there, so i feel for you. some people start suckin dick for dope a month in, and have a horrible addiction that speeds out of control immediately, others maintain for years without much trouble, so I aint tryin to tell you that just becuz you only been using for a very short period of time that your opinion is invalid, or that you aint addicted or watever, becuz addiction takes some people down very fast and i respect that. but , my point is that from your point of view, you are in this terrible spot, but from the point of view of someone who is a little wiser to it (not me particularly but, anyone in general) they can see that you really aint too bad off . honestly, you have no experience with the full blown life of full on heroin addiction. it gets much, much worse. You are just starting out. You got very limited experience with it, and now you are feeling the very first bad effects as a user, and you are talkin about it like a old war veteran reporting back from the trenches instead of a newjack who put his hand on the stove and was suprised when he got burned. Thats just my advice, take it or leave it.
