the white in my eyes

[wesmdow]

The white in my eyes


no one can confirm

or deny

the white in this eye--

so many have come to try...

but apparantly, eyes DO lie...

gaze in them now, am i high?

...fuck you for checking.

when i "got clean" lots and lots of people told me they could finally see the "whites in my eyes."

i never stopped getting high, so i have no idea what they all see....

it pisses me off.

 

[(Wordy)]

I used to have recurring anxiety dreams about being completely fucked off my head, and my parents or disapproving friends seeing me.

I don't get those dreams any more... or at least I haven't had one for quite a while.

I'd like to think we're all capable of becoming mature, in that we "get better at getting high", i.e. we don't let it do as much damage because we realise there are other important things to consider in life. But that's just my opinion...

 

[wesmdow]

well what bothers me isnt that im "getting better at getting high"

...its that, now that its public that i had a problem, they all pretend to be able to see a difference. i am the only one that knows there is NO difference, im still me. high.

when im high, im still me. ive always been me and always will be me, and it drives me CRAZY when people think drugs change who i am.

it makes me MORE MAD when people precieve a difference in my persona, and comment on it... and its just a placebo, as i got blazed in the car not just 5 minutes ago.

i cant believe they cant smell it!

im the same damn person.