the weight of the world shall collapse

[undead]

at the bottom of every bottle, you'll find the cure to all your problems
at the end of every rope is a screaming kicking soul
the weak shall die away with the wisk of a new wind
and once again the strong shall gain control

once again your god has chosen to forsake you
once again your eyes have chosen not to see
your desire to live your life with a constant smile on your face
is weakness at its stongest point in vain of a failed decree

its those who hang their head in shame
who bear the biggest hearts
and those who cut their wrists with razors
who bleed the purest blood
the weak shall die away indeed
but the strong shall pass away
but only by suicidal nature
because the world itself is far too weak
to hold their weight

 

[Dastrix Slogan]

excellent stuff! ideas are well defined and come through strongly. this bit holds the most power for me:

your desire to live your life with a constant smile on your face
is weakness at its stongest point in vain of a failed decree

 

[yakksoho]

Though its far more morbid and dark it recalls to me Ezra Pound -- ends with an off-beat. Stellar and powerful to say the least.

its those who hang their head in shame
who bear the biggest hearts
and those who cut their wrists with razors
who bleed the purest blood

 

[(Wordy)]

This is bold and against the grain.

I think I can hear the Ezra Pound... something about the tone.

 

[frostyangel]

I like this.. I think it's hitting home for me right now.. how I've been feeling..

 

[undead]

wow! thank you to all of you guys. dastrix, your replies always make me feel thankful. i appreciate it!

and frosty, i miss you!!! =( i hope all is well though, and i hope that reading this is more of a release than a stimulant. *muah* stay well... and tell squeak i said hi!