The War on Frogs

[rolodex propaganda]

Please Critique

A dream that we envisioned is becoming a dystopia
A plaintive bastardization of principles
The original purpose of which cannot be understood

Perceived menace threatens family values international
These kids will ransack the egosphere and realize that we’re assholes - again
And so they send us out with guns to catch these little frogs

Zero tolerance dictates Kermit to be public enemy number one
With shamanic venom beneath microdot skin that redefines animal abuse
He will poison unsuspecting youth with his pedamorphic bait

The prerogative of responsibility will not be understood
And demons created by an infallible father must be terminated
How did the war on frogs begin?

And another one:

Sweet,
Rapid.
We will choke
on the abruptness
but reach a point of contentment
where affection plateaus and holds us for a while
but our immaculate amity
Won’t last forever
Wish it would
Come down
Dead

 

[lostNfound]

Nice layout with the second piece, visual stimulation with the piece itself is always enjoyable.

With regard to the first piece, I think you're cramming too much in to too small a piece to be completely honest. I had to read it a couple of times to wrap my head right around it.

I rather enjoyed the piss take (that's how i saw it) with kermit and the war on frogs, I also liked the inclusion the egosphere.