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The Universe Fucking Hates Me

I wouldn't go with sexual experience/inexperience levels very much with any adult. These are quite important: One: individualism. Two: mating processes.

I think it's important to make clear what meanings are important.
 
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Been there done that if people re-call I got a DUI was addicted to DRUGS not one specific drug I ALSO decided to get a attorney and it saved me 5000$ in fees I dropped 3000$ well my parents did but it came from my social security checks. Anyway's I now quit drugs have a good job and I've got alot of anxiety/depression/panic attacks but all in all I've gotten 10x better and I thought the universe hated me we guess what it doesn't it's YOURSELF that hates YOU not anything else you can't LIKE your own being no one will respect or LIKE you. Just figure your shit out. Best advice I can give you.
 
Man if u hate yourself thats like the worst ever as far as your personal experience is concerned. If you hate yourself, you don't care for yourself, so terrible shit always happens. I know all about self loathing, and the misery attached to it. I've been the type that would destroy myself just for the sake of doing it...

not good :P
 
Is it possible that the generation before(yours mines parents) didn't have enough vitamins or antibiotics and are considerably weaker, or the opposite that daily sugar causes -50% cell power? Differencies exists a lot on what to expect and what to feel as mental values. Any way it's clear that no-one gets upset from some schitsiphrenic whore who takes it halfway the job. It's been same value, definitely not pointing any characters here.

Get this, some educated people tend to ask (is the word opiophile?) cheap semi-huge drug loads because never been arrested or have to spend time with low minded suckers. And know they can have half of the stash with outbroad "job doing" salary. Double price then, now it's internet, there was too much stims, and caffeine too...Ohh shit who needs. Those stim shits been for long but JWHs are real revolution, even lacking some of the high.
 
You can't turn back time so no reason to beat yourself up about it anymore. what will feeling bad about it do at this point? Nothing. Just make you miserable, but it won't change anything. You just gotta accept that it happened and work on this from there. Which you seem to already be doing. I've also had tons of shitty situations over the last few years which were probably the worst years of my life. I just try to accept things as they are if I can't change them and work on things I can change. If I have control over something then I let myself worry about it, but if something is totally outta my hands then I let it go. It's there in the back of my head, in my thoughts but I try not to let it make me miserable. If I worried about all the things in my life that are shitty but I can't change now then I would not sleep and eat. And the way I see it, there are a lot of things I have control over and I need that energy to do those things. So worrying over things you have no control over takes time and energy from things you can control, so its counterproductive therefore it needs to be eradicated ASAP.

Looking at things this way has allowed me to slowly improve my life. Cuz when your life is not going well its a lot harder to improve your life than when your life is going well. If you wanna continue living you gotta look at things in an optimistic way otherwise things will continue being shitty and never improve. Luck has its place, but its not everything. IF you didn't have that bottle of vodka in the car then you wouldn't have gotten that DUI. But no reason to reminiscence about it now, what is done is done. Gotta accept that and live life with the limitations that a DUI has put upon you for a little while. DO the best with what you got. I wish you luck. I know your life will get better. These things you have been experiencing are just little setbacks. Everyone has those happen to them at some point in their life. It's not universe hating you, things like that happen to people. Worse things and better things, that's life. Gotta accept that.
 
MaddTime said:
First of all, thanks for all your responses.

To reply back in no particular order:

To beef 'n whatever and people who say or imply I have some sort of karmic debt, I would like to point out that the only person who I ever do harm to is none but myself. I am who I hate. Whether or not that counts as karmic injustice in the eyes of god, the universe, satan etc. is up for argument.

The phrase, "it could have been worse" is a psychological device employed by eternal optimists, which may work for them, but as an inherently pessimist person, it fails to make me feel better about my situation. To echo a previous sentiment, it can ALWAYS be worse. If I was shot out of a cannon made of human feces and landed into a huge pile of solidified dog waste, I could then say, "hey it could have been worse, I could have broken my ribs and contracted hepatitis c or could have gotten killed in the fall", but that would not negate the fact that I am seriously injured and covered in aromatic mammal excrement.

Also, I am fully aware that The Universe is an inanimate, immense, and unforgiving/unsympathetic THING. It is not aware that I exist and never will be. I decided to use the term "The Universe" because it has become evident (at least from my perspective) that there has to be some malevolent force which transcends my own personal (ir)responsibility and misfortune and likes to shit on my muffins.

And to those of you who enjoyed my writing, although you might think it's cold and unsympathetic, it actually makes me feel better that some people get a kick out of my writing. Since I knew mine would be a long and mopey post, I thought I might as well make it entertaining to read. It did surprise me because other than the odd internet comment (internet comments lying just a notch above a curse word scrawled on a bathroom wall in terms of literal legitimacy) I hardly ever write anymore.

Special thanks to Ocean, your post was probably the most uplifting of all.
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I'd say Homo Sapienses are that far un-natural or non-natural, that they tend to do much more than piles of crops but nothing is animal type behaviour. Too simple and also too practical creature. Synthetics and molecular information even no-one can build even clothes him/herself without society. Head is much simpler than with maybe like, reptiles and some/most automatic as walking with two legs. Anyone know, animals are sensoring/guarding over all the time, not humans watching over animals. Continuous sniffing, seeing, humans just want to rest in euphoria, that's damn ad/hd.
 
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yep, dui's suck ass and there ain't no two ways about it. but, cliche as it is, truthfully life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. my advise would be: make your own luck. submit your original post to every magazine in the country. someone will buy it -- you're very talented! then you can pay your dad back and pay off your dui with this experience!

you're obviously a person who thinks deeply and probably feels deeply, too. there's a woman somewhere dying to meet you! the universe did you a favor by not letting you throw away your first time (you only get that once, bra) on "said bitch".
 
MaddTime let me tell you a story.

One saturady night my younger brother convinces me of abandoning my plans of oblivion to come to one of his mates party's. he tells me that i'm required as i was a fully licensed driver and that his mate.... who i'll refer to as fuckhead, needs me to ride shotgun as he was on his L plates(a driver learning to drive) and i was the fully licensed driver that was apparently doing the instructing. My plan was to check out the party, have a few drinks and catch a taxi home.

Anyway, so off we drive to this party which was about a 20min drive, and i thought it wouldn't hurt to crack open a can on the way. we arrive and there was all this commotion going on out on the street, which i was oblivious to. everyone started drinking out the front and so did i.... turns out that my brother and his mates weren't invited and by the time i had found out id had a few beers under my belt.

naturally i was ready to call a taxi and fuck off home, and then i see my drunk brother about to hope in the car with fuckhead.... so again, i naturally try and talk him out of it and tried to tell fuckhead to leave his car put, and pick it up in the morning because i knew i was over by that time... typical 17 year old attitude "no fuckin way i'm leavin my wheels here!" nor was my brother in any sort of state to be talked down... so i did what any responsible and caring brother did. i got in the car and said you better drive like you're driving miss daisy mate!

So we're almost back in our neighbourhood and fuckhead decides to do an illegal turn, which was subsequently opposite the local police station. before i could say the word fuckhead, there were the inevitable red and blue lights of the shiteaters(lol) in the rear view mirror.

i copped a $1000 fine and lost my licence for 18months for sitting in the fucking passenger seat, while fuckhead got a slap on the wrist. shiteater told me he's been on the job for 12 years and had never seen a case like it.... go figure. shit happens

oh and i was 21 when i lost my virginity, and i've never had a relationship, well nothing i'd consider one anyway.... closest i has was a stunningly beautiful Norwegian girl that i slept with once... she told me that i was the perfect guy, after sleeping with her she found out how inexperienced i was and said i was too affectionate, i dug and dug and then she told me i was too feminine.... hahaha well i know what i'm not and i let it ruin me to the point of heroin addiction, if only i knew what i know now.

moral of the story is shit happenes, and it's how you deal with it that matteres, don't make my mistake and let things get to you and have the attidude you have. I had the same exact attitude and all it causes is pain, fucking endless pain, pain that i'm still dealing with, but it does get better if you want it to.

the universe ain't against you, maybe you need to find it out the hard way? but i wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. hang in there.
 
Why universe should hate anybody, everything is anyway damn un-natural in modern life, so why not take the possible advantages of every possible things. Of course not evil or others harming actions.

Is this actually related to some person who was technically virgin at age about 20? And prostitutes?

Actually if you people are american, isn't it the all-color-system to relief teenage horny? Rainbow parties or something that way explained, home parties. I was thinking what it means, but but but what way ever when/if find some-one good for doing. Isn't it women who do the decision.
 
I want to grok you Orangutangpsychopa, but I don't want to derail other members threads with tangential issues. When people start threads in TDS it is because issues are important to them. Why don't you start your own thread Orangutangpsychopa. May I call you O-psy for short?

OP, Maddtime- excellent first post. Sorry about your troubles. You said later on:
Also, I am fully aware that The Universe is an inanimate, immense, and unforgiving/unsympathetic THING. It is not aware that I exist and never will be. I decided to use the term "The Universe" because it has become evident (at least from my perspective) that there has to be some malevolent force which transcends my own personal (ir)responsibility and misfortune and likes to shit on my muffins.
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I think when we address the universe as cold and mechanistic it becomes so. When we adress the universe as dynamic and being like it can also become so. I'm stealing from Martin Buber some here. In our personal crises and life experience I don't think its important that we come to an apprehension of the ultimate truth. It is more important that we find a world view that accommodates our growth, our aesthetic preferences and our ability to be well. A mechanistic & indifferent universe works and doesn't work to that end and is adopted and discarded by me accordingly. Hope things are better for you soon.
 
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