I'll probably be ok, things go wrong inside me a lot, but I've not died yet, lol.
It’s a combination of medical staff getting sick, dying, or just quitting because they don’t want to die. The effects of covid are spreading out further and further every month. I got really sick a couple of weeks ago. I probably should have gone to the hospital but I chose to tough it out at home because I didn’t want to go be with all of the sick people at the hospital.
Glad you didn't die!
One of the bigger reasons I’m hoping to get away from all of the opiates. I haven’t gone ANYWHERE since the pandemic started. It has made it easier to be an addict. Pills when I’m happy. Pills when I’m sad. And television in bed when I run out. Last minute travel plans sound like an impossibility when I’m running out of pills.
Its a chainball.Addiction..especially to illegal stuff.Have a nice holyday..somehow
Believe it or not, my holidays are shaping up pretty good. Ran out last week, don’t get another till January. Past the wd’s. Too stupid to quit but at least the crappy parts are done until after New Years.
The day that I was afraid my Dr. was going to get in an accident on his way to work and call in absent on my refill day I knew I had a problem. I mean I knew I had a problem before that day but I wasn't concerned about it enough to worry that my Dr. was going to have a mishap and not be in the office. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I needed that shit for my life to go on. I couldn't function or even think for myself without a pill or two or three. I didn't like it at all one bit for kicking me to the curb when I failed a UA for benzos ( not prescribed ). But it was a blessing in disguise as I was a slave to that orange bottle of white tablets and I had lost my soul and who I was as a human being. Completely demoralizing to say the least.
Thank you for the kind words. It’s so much better to get advice from a person who has experienced the problems I’m having. I just can’t get on board with following directions from anyone who hasn’t lived it themselves. It’s a big reason you’re suck a great moderatorThe day that I was afraid my Dr. was going to get in an accident on his way to work and call in absent on my refill day I knew I had a problem. I mean I knew I had a problem before that day but I wasn't concerned about it enough to worry that my Dr. was going to have a mishap and not be in the office. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I needed that shit for my life to go on. I couldn't function or even think for myself without a pill or two or three. I didn't like it at all one bit for kicking me to the curb when I failed a UA for benzos ( not prescribed ). But it was a blessing in disguise as I was a slave to that orange bottle of white tablets and I had lost my soul and who I was as a human being. Completely demoralizing to say the least.
Not judging whatsoever as i was just like you. Ate em' up as soon as I got them and when they were gone I counted the days to my next refill. I even always tried to get them early. Every damn time. I thought the pills were who I was and without them I was just an empty shell walking around on this earth with no purpose whatsoever. But when i had my pills I worked, cooked, cleaned and did all the stuff I was supposed to do. When they were gone and I couldn't get anymore I disengaged completely. I have never felt so empty as when I was without my drug.
Thank God I finally snapped out of that mindset. I miss it sometimes. I miss that warm fuzzy blanket. But it was killing me slowly and draining my soul and I wasn't going to let that happen. Life may not be roses but it is so much better than when I was addicted. I have my soul back. And my peace of mind. Never stop trying Squeaky. It may not happen today or next week or next month but don't give up who you are to an orange bottle with white pills in it.
I am enjoying them and hope you are too. And thanks for the lovely compliment Squeaky.Thank you for the kind words. It’s so much better to get advice from a person who has experienced the problems I’m having. I just can’t get on board with following directions from anyone who hasn’t lived it themselves. It’s a big reason you’re suck a great moderator
I hope you’re enjoying the holidays! Just a few more days until 2022.
Oh yes, I always look forward to after the holiday, although this has been a good one. We cancelled our trip away, after all my attempts to be ready for it, I'm no further on at all addiction wise.
Better i think is to be on one of them.No reason to be hooked on two opies.Availability,price and most important-on which of this two you would felt more comfortable and be possible on stable,quite low dose.Be safe
My opinion would be to give up the least natural of your addictions. It’s sort of like being borderline diabetic and choosing to give up either the Pepsi or the Orange. Manmade chemicals (in my mind) are the most damaging, so give up the bupe.
You have a strong point about the man made chemicals and I agree with the soda comment too. Wouldn't it be better to give up the one we do compulsively and recklessly and stay on the one that is supposed to stabilize us. I mean I realize the high is gone ( with subs ) but isn't that the point? We can get relief with our comfort meds ( if we have them like weed, kratom,lyrica etc) ) from our cravings and compulsions and with the added suboxone relief .....shouldn't op work on getting the opium/pod/seed/ addiction under control?
The holidays were a blast, now I'm sobering up again and I'll do one at a time.
I've heard of that before. People on subs for years then walking away with no wds. Makes me wonder if the body gets immune to the effects of subs after that long and it stopped working at some point, but if you can still catch a buzz with it then it hasn't stopped working. I dunno, it just sounds too good to be true that you can walk away with no pain after 15 years on bupe, I definitely want it to be something I can copy, lol.
