I almost took a whole day off benzo yesterday.
About 24 hours had passed from previous dose (nearly said Sunday then lol, it was Tuesday) night.
I had no wish to take it. A need, for mood and nerves. But I didn't want it.
I only ate 2 small meals from Friday night to now, 1pm Thursday, nothing yesterday.
So 3 fasts in a row basically, 2 small meals breaking them.
37 hours right now.
The other two were about 46 hours.
I did trip deepest in my life of 750 Micrograms of ALD-52, the best cleanest most hallucinogenic Acid on earth.
Exactly 25 years after I first took...LSD 25.
An anniversary trip by chance or alignment. The highest I have ever been. On anything, like feet off the ground and all the way into the Asyral Planes to a place beyond matter, time and space.
Really extraordinary, spectacular visions, insights, epiphanies.
Slept 12 hours Tuesday night. Too tired to get up yesterday, but allergy needed serious management. Long exhausting hideous process. 2 full mugs of thick mucus evacuated. I get PTSD daily from facing this abnormal process alone.
Was flat out of energy, tripping deep and long takes more energy than any other drug IME since 1996.
And my nerves were super sensitised and my mum was having a day around the house in a particular disgruntled emotional state, I couldn't deal with that so went back to bed as it was a fight not to already, requiring some major incentive.
Sleeping wasn't easy, an hour seemed like a night long mentally.
Was very hungry. No etiz all day though. Until 9 pm, 5 mg's as I felt rough, cold like, surely withdrawls and it doesn't pay to spike high to low.
I lost count of Etiz use early week. Over the trip. Maybe 20 mg's 2 days in a row.
Only 5 last night.
Usually after maxxing it out so much, I struggle to not go nuts without a high enough amount and feel rough no matter.
I took 3 mg's about 6 am today after somehow sleeping on/off through. Made me sleepy and I took a few more hours sleep.
Lots of sleep anyway lol! Just had strong coffee to wake up now.
Normally, I'd be taking all the Etiz I can allow, for mood and depression.
I hit a major intense depression yesterday. Usual nowdays post very heavy Acid trips.
The blackest. But I did not want any Etiz. I wanted cannabis. Not even Kava!
I had neither. Just the evening Etiz dose.
That is something itself. The ALD trip has completely changed my mind.
I'm sure this battle is right on still.
Because my mum is such an insane nerve trigger for me.
I saw though- I can actually see a life without benzos!
Not even feeling terrible because of it too.
Cannabis edibles next. Love my organic cannabis. I plan kava. It puts me in agood warm mood. Makes music so enjoyable.
I love good music. Especially on LSD but it's great anyway.
Peter Tosh. He's a man I swear. Jhonny B good. Incredible tune.
Interesting though. I have rewired some stuff in my head by leaving my body completely the furthest out.
Long Covid back in my nerves atm is directly driving anxiety and panic though.
@Squeaky really pleased to hear you feeling more positive, and hopeful. Well done.
Interestingly too, you said about fixing the wiring in your head.
I definitely re-wired my own this time. In no bad way. Never such a real deep work though. No way to return to the same Default Mode Network afterwards.
@Squeaky I suddenly wonder if Microdosing Psychedelics, Psilocybin or LSD, could help you with that and generally?
Keep that positive mindframe going for now.
And thanks for your previous comment to me.
I typed a reply but was in the worst place then so scrapped it.
Another thing- pretty empty this morning of food, water and waist.
So little food last 6 days, I'm certainly anemic again.
But- 62 kg's true body weight!
Not even 60! Which is good. Somehow!