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Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

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I am still tapering... I hate it but I’m down to 1.36mg of diazepam which is 6.8% of the 20mg I was on 2/2018 when I started tapering.

I don’t know how people who have been prescribed them for years manage to work and live a normal life while tapering. I guess my nervous system is just totally fucked. If I didn’t have Medicaid long term care benefits, I definitely wouldn’t be able to do this. It’s actually going to be rough having to do everything myself until next Friday since I was put on 14 day self quarantine thanks to my roommates going camping and one of the people they went with testing positive for COVID. Personal care assistant isn’t allowed to come back during that time. Thankfully none of us have symptoms so we haven’t had to shell out $150 a pop for tests.

If I can keep my current pace up, I’ll jump off at .5mg on 8/15/2021. I can do this. I have to do this. Fuck I wish it was over though. I’m dead set on sober living (which includes no more psych meds either) after this because fuck I don’t ever want to deal with withdrawal again!
 
Lostbeebabe said:
thank you for sharing your story and wisdom!

Do you happen to know how long/how many days it takes to become dependent on kratom where it would cause withdrawals? I’ve been taking 3g’s once or twice a day for 6-7 days. I need advice on when to stop the kratom so I don’t go into kratom withdrawal.
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Some opiates block others, some multiply others. Kratom is not an opiate, but it does block some of the effects if opiates (that’s why it wont get you high but it really helps with withdrawals) Loperamide takes a really long time to have an effect, and it’s effects last longer than most other opiates. It will also block opiates like oxy AND both Kratom and Lope will raise your tolerance for opiates.
That’s the science.... here’s the advice:
You cannot hurt yourself on Kratom. If you overdose, then the only thing that will happen is you will throw up (one solid puking) and probably fall asleep. I know because I have done it several times. Kratom is safer for opioid withdrawl but Loperamide is more effective. IF you take something like oxy AND you take Kratom or Loperamide you will eventually overdose, because the reason you did it was to feel a little more “beautiful” and you are chasing the happy feeling you get from your pills (but you aren’t going to get it like you want any more are you?) If one of the things you took that was too much is Kratom, then you will puke and that’s all. If it was oxy and Lope only, then you risk respiratory distress and death. Just don’t do it.
Kratom withdrawls are real, but they are worlds better than oxy wd’s. Loperamide really works, but only if your plan is to get away from opiates for ever. As a short term fix(until you can get your next fix) lope raises tolerance for other opiates dramatically. Then you get stuck in a bad cycle of more Lope to get off more oxy. I speak from experience because using Lope to bridge the gap until my next script got me up to 300+ mg per day of oxy just to feel normal.
Pick one, lope or Kratom. Whichever is easier to get a LOT of. Buy a crap load of it. Then use only enough to make life liveable (not beautiful, just liveable). Then get to tapering off as fast as possible
For Lope: Your first day on lope you use about the same as your previous daily use of oxy. Cut your daily use of oxy in half and that’s your daily dose of lope on days 2-5 . Break it into 3 or 4 doses per day. After day 5 or 6 you start dropping each days dose by about 10%, and you make that drop about every 2-3 days.
Its a game of percentages, not milligrams. And lope has a miserably long half-life, so Monday’s dose is still affecting you on Tuesday and Wednesday. So your doses become cumulative. If you are taking 50 mg lope today then 10% drop means you take 45 mg tomorrow. Then in two or 3 days you drop 10% of 45 and round down to about 40mg. Then two days later you drop 10% of 40 and you’re at 36 mg per day. When you’re at 10 mg per day, that 10% is only 1 mg so you go to 9 mg per day.
If you feel aggressive you can go as high as 50% drops every 5-7 days, but you’re going to suffer a lot mire.The problem with lope is that once you’re in wd because you were too aggressive it takes 4 hours for your next dose to work and you are more likely to get desperate, take too much, and screw up your plans for a taper.
Kratom and loperamide are both easier and cheaper in the internet. Head shops charge a lot for Kratom and pharmacies stopped carrying the giant sized bottles of Loperamide a couple of years ago. Also, long term high-dose use of Loperamide can cause heart problems (400mg per day for a year is what I mean). Also the lope pills are mostly clay and it makes your blood feel dirty. And constipation is a serious problem.
I have done both for oxy withdrawl. From as high as 300mg per day oxy. They both work, but for me Kratom is much better. I buy 5-10 pounds at a time on the internet and I take about 3grams at a time, 5-6 times per day. Kratom wd’s suck but they are liveable. And tapering off Kratom is SOOOOO MUCH EASIER than oxy because it doesn’t make you happy, just not in wd.
 
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Thanks everyone! This is a great thread. I am still on my tapper?? Not even sure what I am doing??I was totally off for 5 days last week, startted to feel better, and went and started to cut my privet hedge!I am 60 and have radiation damage in my neck and shoulder due to Cancer treatments. So really started to be painful, and went back on ,my Norco Took 30-40 mgs over the course of the day :( . Could not finish the hedge paid ti have it done , and of course withdrawals are back :mad:8(:sick:! So cutting them in 1/2 and will start again?? I do not know if I will ever be off these things?? I am new to opiates late in life, been sober for over 30 years from alcohol and all my other DOCs from my youth. But Chronic pain, does suck, and aging is not for sissys
 
Hi Iceman,
,
I just wanted to say that I am also an intractable pain patient, like Painful One and Squeaky and a few others of us here as well.

I wanted to wish you the very best re your taper and I am here for you, even if you would just like to vent or you want an ear.

Hugs,
your friend,
Ash..


Iceman1216 said:
Thanks everyone! This is a great thread. I am still on my tapper?? Not even sure what I am doing??I was totally off for 5 days last week, startted to feel better, and went and started to cut my privet hedge!I am 60 and have radiation damage in my neck and shoulder due to Cancer treatments. So really started to be painful, and went back on ,my Norco Took 30-40 mgs over the course of the day :( . Could not finish the hedge paid ti have it done , and of course withdrawals are back :mad:8(:sick:! So cutting them in 1/2 and will start again?? I do not know if I will ever be off these things?? I am new to opiates late in life, been sober for over 30 years from alcohol and all my other DOCs from my youth. But Chronic pain, does suck, and aging is not for sissys
Click to expand...
 
EPL1 said:
Hi Iceman,
,
I just wanted to say that I am also an intractable pain patient, like Painful One and Squeaky and a few others of us here as well.

I wanted to wish you the very best re your taper and I am here for you, even if you would just like to vent or you want an ear.

Hugs,
your friend,
Ash..
Click to expand...
Thank Ash, I have followed and supported your posts, while I have been here. Being an addict and a chronic pain suffer, who has spent decades in 12 step recovery, has proven to be a very complicated journey for me to navigate? As well as the opoid epidemic created by big Pharma and the Sakel family.
I have evolved my total position on drug use to Harm Reduction ,and safe use , from the total Abstinence model. I will much rather have an active drug addict in my life, than a grave to visit. MAT is golden standard ( for keeping people Alive) life can be better clean yes, but DEAD IS DEAD 💀
 
@Iceman1216 That's very kind of you JP, I also enjoy your posts, you are a very kind and helpful individual, the world needs more people like you.

You have a very good attitude and whether it's abstinence or harm reduction or tapering or whatever, you will be just fine. You have a great attitude, how could you not? ; )
,
And yes I absolutely agree, it is so nice to have a place to come where others really get it.
I hope you are having a nice evening my friend,

Here for you anytime,
your friend,
Ash.😘
 
Hi,
I've just spent a couple of weeks reading this entire post and I've learned a lot! I'm a chronic pain sufferer (diagnosed 3 years ago with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome type 1) after I thought I'd badly broken my ankle. Turns out it wasn't broken but severely sprained. Tried a whole lot of different meds before ending up on slow release oxy. I'm so thankful to all of you for this post, I feel a lot of similarities while reading it. I am trying to taper but stumbling a lot. I'm in the land down under and things have been bad here for people like me... I have a wonderful doctor thankfully. I also have Inflammatory Bowel Disease and cannot take anti inflammatories. Surgery is not an option as there is no nerve involvement. I just wanted to say hello and thank to everyone here for this post, you have all helped me in so many ways ❤❤❤
 
not sure if the right threa but i ordered myself 200mg Red hulu and 200mg and green maenga.
one for morning and one for night time.
will start of with 5g of each at the right time and see how it feels.
I will only being taking benzos and joint at this time.
 
not sure if the right threa but i ordered myself 200mg Red hulu and 200mg and green maenga.
one for morning and one for night time.
will start of with 5g of each at the right time and see how it feels.
I will only being taking benzos and joint at this time.
 
Kratom has ruined my tolerance for oxy. I’m not sure if I should be happy about it or not, but I basically get nothing from my pills now except relief from withdrawals. Yesterday I took 120 mg of oxy and got nothing.
 
Hi all! Great thread with many sincere and good advices. I will give a quick history but will not drown you with info. Those who are interested can check my introduction here https://www.bluelight.org/xf/threads/better-late-than-never.890342/#post-14904325 .

In short, done all sorts of drugs from age of 15. Never done H, crack cocaine and crystal meth. Fortunately for me, crack and meth are not even available in my country (I'm from Eastern Europe). I say fortunately because even without those 2 I had one episode of amphetamine psychosis in my 20s. That is when I was put, against my will, on multiple psychiatric drugs, benzos being one of them. By late 20s I got rid off all the psych drugs except benzodiazepines. In early 30s I was prescribed tramadol due to chronic pain issues in my lower spine. Pain did not go away and as in my country doctors are hesitant to prescribe opioids I have upped the level and started to take morphine, oxycodone and sometimes methadone. I could get them easily but illegally. When my tolerance got high I decided to try with buprenorphine so I went on opioid replacement therapy. Transitioned to methadone as buprenorphine did not do enogh for pain, but went back cause methadone had too many bad effects on my mood and personality in general. After 3 years of buprenorphine and more than 6 years on various opioids I have stopped taking opioids. This was in January. So far so good. I have maneged to transform my body through exercise regiment that I suited for myself (was told that I should not pick up anything heavy, play sports or go hiking...all the activities I can do once again). So I am grateful for that. 7 months after stopping buprenorphine I am doing well pain wise. Infact I am doing so well that I have decided to try to taper diazepam again. I still have pain but it is manageable with workout, breathing exercises, and NSAIDs. Well, it is manageable for the most part, as I still get 3-5 days a month when I wish I wasn't concious. But it is great considering how it has been in the past. I am on 25mg diazepam and trying to taper down as I said. I will not rush it cause last time, 6 years ago I did 6 months long taper and couldn't endure it in the end. After almost 20 years on benzodiazepines it doesn't matter if it takes me one or two years, as long as I am going in the right direction and am able to stop them. I would like to get my focus and clarity back. Also I believe that diazepam is now the cause and not the help regarding my heightened anxiety and low level depression. So I am pretty determined to stop benzodiazepines if that will be at all possible. I strongly believe that it will be. Wow, that was not so short as I imagined it will be. I will stop now with the introduction. I hope I will be of some help in supporting you. Some of the older members, like Painful One have helped me quite a bit in the past, as did many other members of this beautiful community. Thank you all for your openness and sincerity. I hope that I can give something back to the community.

That's all for now. <3
 
Thanks @Squeaky Yeah benzos, of all drugs I have taken , have the hardest grip on me even though I do not enjoy them and frankly they are the actual cause of anxiety I experience.

I thought that I will be able to go to a bit lower dose this week but I pinched a nerve in my neck so pain and sleep are the issue at the moment. I will not push it but the pain is getting better so I will go down to 22.5mg in few days.

Hope everyone's doing well. At least stable and bearable.
 
Went down to 22.5mg 10 days ago. Adjusted very well. In fact I did not experience any change in my anxiety or insomnia levels. For me it always becomes rough when I get under 15mg. I will give a 20mg (diazepam) a try, starting from today.

Hope everyone's stable and bearable. <3
 
Hey guys.
Today I realized that my life is not what I want it to be and I am not who I could be, even should be.
I was in room, full of syringes and I realized that I'm a slave. I don't want this for my life. This is not what we dreamed growing up would be like as kids.
Fuck, grown man moaning here about some shit. I don't know. I feel like I can't talk about my problems to anyone since I don't trust people.
Buprenorphine - If i don't get it, I suffer.
It's hell. It's worse than heroin.
I bought some pregabalin and i'm going to start dropping my dose. I go straight to 1mg a day, I do now like 2-4mg a day.
Pregabalin will help with the withdrawals which come from dropping the dose.
I do bupre IV, so it's more potent than the subuxone strips in mouth. I use subutex, it's the pill whitout naloxone.
I wish everyone great luck and good fate in their journey!
Best regards - DMW
 
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