Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

[Painful One]

I’m two days into my new script and doing EXACTLY what I have done every month for the last year. At this rate I’ll be in withdrawal for Christmas and just out of pills and in pain for New Years. Starting tomorrow I have promised myself that I will lock away my pills for a couple of weeks or give them to somebody else to hold so I cannot do this to myself again.
I have however said the exact same words every month for about 6 months and still failed. I don’t want to do it again but I am too proud to ask for help, too weak to do it alone, and took dependent on the pills to tel my Dr the truth. It’s like a three-legged table: if I could knock off one of the legs then the whole thing would topple and I would be free.

Do it brother!
You need those so you can taper down on the Kratom and get things working and get comfortable!
comfortable my brother! You CAN get there and stay there!

I don’t want you in withdrawals for Christmas and New Years. Don’t do it to yourself!
ask for help.

 

[Painful One]

i am doing really good bc i am finding out that medicine can be safe !!

Good job Hylight!
good to hear from you and thank you so much for your sweet message above.
honestly it made me cry. Thank you for caring!

See my message above, there has been some progress made for me!

 

[Painful One]

Hey guys. I used to frequent this forum a lot before I forgot my account and password. Just figured it out tonight. Does anyone here remember me? How is everyone?

HELL YES we remember you!
So good to hear from you!!

I sent you a P.M.

 

[Painful One]

Now we just need to hear from ShroomySatori and it would be a Christmas miracle!

 

[Painful One]

Going for Botox injections tomorrow.
I’m scared!

My insurance company approved a year of Botox injections for my migraine headaches.

Maybe they will actually give me some more youthful looking effects. I am trying to look on the bright side here.
Actually, if they just work to help with the migraines that would be great!
At least I finally got to a Doctor who is getting things done and quickly! Yay!
I will let you guys know how it goes.

* biting fingernails

 

[Painful One]

Just had 40 shots of Botox all over my head, face, and neck.
It really wasn’t too bad.
But I am a pain veteran! Lol! Others would be horrified.

Hoping for the best here and I AM HOPEFUL! That is great news my friends!

Don’t give up!!
I love you all!

 

[Larimar]

Just had 40 shots of Botox all over my head, face, and neck.
It really wasn’t too bad.
But I am a pain veteran! Lol! Others would be horrified.

Hoping for the best here and I AM HOPEFUL! That is great news my friends!

Don’t give up!!
I love you all!
❤

So glad you are finally getting some useful treatment ! Might be a good new year ahead for ya lady , you deserve it

 

[dopiejay]

My god painful one id love to see the result! You certainly are a damn trooper. Cheers girl.

 

[Painful One]

Aww! I love you my friends! Thank you so much for all the support!

Some people might think we are the “outcasts” but I think it is more like this-

 

[dopiejay]

You’re name is sherry right? My god sherry I feel like im slowly dying. Like my brain is falling apart. This is horrible . I hate drugs.

 

[Painful One]

You’re name is sherry right? My god sherry I feel like im slowly dying. Like my brain is falling apart. This is horrible . I hate drugs.

yeah, my name is Sherri. Thanks for outing that. Lol! That’s okay.
Oh my dear Dopiejay, I hate drugs too. It is time to give them up except for the ones that we are sure are actually helping us and are treatment. We do have conditions.

I’m starting my clonazepam taper tomorrow. I am digging these Gabapentin. I am nice and cozy comfortable on these.
They took away the restlessness and restless legs problem and they are giving me more energy and making my dreams good instead of nightmares! I actually feel like I am coming back to life!

You know my friend, this doctor I found who is an award winning specialist and spends hours with you and sees you like every week said that narcolepsy is often misdiagnosed as bi-polar. Isn’t that what they told you that you have?
Maybe you should take a trip to Utah and we could have him take a look at you and get you sorted out.

Don‘t give up! You are using drugs for a reason. We just have to figure out what that reason is and correct it.

I mean, I’m not suffering over here. Had movie star treatment Botox injections yesterday. He is eager to give me GHB!

Hang in there! Where there is a will, there is a way!

 

[dopiejay]

yeah, my name is Sherri. Thanks for outing that. Lol! That’s okay.
Oh my dear Dopiejay, I hate drugs too. It is time to give them up except for the ones that we are sure are actually helping us and are treatment. We do have conditions.

I’m starting my clonazepam taper tomorrow. I am digging these Gabapentin. I am nice and cozy comfortable on these.
They took away the restlessness and restless legs problem and they are giving me more energy and making my dreams good instead of nightmares! I actually feel like I am coming back to life!

You know my friend, this doctor I found who is an award winning specialist and spends hours with you and sees you like every week said that narcolepsy is often misdiagnosed as bi-polar. Isn’t that what they told you that you have?
Maybe you should take a trip to Utah and we could have him take a look at you and get you sorted out.

Don‘t give up! You are using drugs for a reason. We just have to figure out what that reason is and correct it.

I mean, I’m not suffering over here. Had movie star treatment Botox injections yesterday. He is eager to give me GHB!

Hang in there! Where there is a will, there is a way!

Shit this was supposed to be a pm lmfao. Yeah we can discuss this further in PM.

 

[Painful One]

Mmmm...not doing so good over here.
40 shots of Botox hurts like a bitch two days later. My neck is going paralyzed too and it hurts to move my head.
My head is so fucking sore. Had to wash all kinds of blood out of my hair.

The gabapentin has me like all speeded out. I can’t sleep. I’m only getting a few hours here and there.
My sleep is more broken than it was before.
I am going to back off those. I don’t know if I am stable enough to attempt to even wean down the clonazepam right now.
I feel like I am manic or something.
I did cut the clonazepam down by a half of a half but if I start feeling even the slightest bit more funky than I do now, I’m going to Take that half of a half and hold off for a few on that. Might be a good idea for me to just take the normal dosage right now.

I already cold turkey the Ambien. I don’t want to throw myself into a tail spin. Shit!!

This Botox has some strange Effects too. That doctor told me it had some speed like effects.

I fucking hate stimulants. I need this doctor to look at a current MRI before I do anything else. I don’t think he realizes that yes, I do have narcolepsy but I also have a traumatic brain injury from that car accident major head hit that knocked out my memory completely and took down my entire life in 2008.

The morphine helped to build new pathways in my brain along with meditation and that is how I am even able to write coherent sentences and paragraphs. At least I think I am? Guys??? Help please.

Thank God I have such a good dog. Man, she is not leaving my Side. Stuck to me like glue and is guarding the shit out of me.
she provides so much comfort for me. She trained herself to be a freaking care giver dog. I gotta give her some props, she is holding me together right now.

 

[Hylight]

Omg ! Painful One, please get better.
Your posts are perfect beautiful.
And yes they make sense.

You are doing so good and you are very strong after every thing you have been through.

Stay well and keep being strong, because you always are ! ♡

 

[Painful One]

Thank you so much Hylight!!!!

Your words mean the fucking world to me right now!
I am struggling. Hard!

Thank you for answering my SOS!
Should have known it would be you.
I love you my dear friend!
❤❤❤

 

[Larimar]

Yes painful one you are writing and sound fine , even if you don’t feel that way . Maybe just use the GABA in the morning to start your day with some energy Or use them as a way to stretch your pain pills . I don’t have any advice for the Benzo’s or sleeping pills have never really done them. Best of luck to you

 

[Painful One]

Thank you my friends. I really appreciated the responses and Larimar you were right.
I needed to back off the Gabapentin a little. I took three of them the night before last night and that was too many!
The room was tilting sideways and I was loosing my balance. felt like I was going manic.

I didn’t like it and I honestly am overwhelmed with the treatment I am facing.
plus, I did just have 40 injections of Botox in my face, head, and neck. That has been sore, to say the least.

My brother calmed me down. Talked me down. He said this treatment is a years long plan and I am not having to do it all at once. We will take it step by step and he will be there to make sure it is the right decision. I was just overwhelmed.

I just took one of the Gabapentin last night and I slept until 5 a.m. then I took another one at 5 a.m. and I am calm, warm. comfortable and feel like I may go back to sleep for awhile. I need more sleep. I am not going to go for the blood tests today. I need a break from needles and just a breather from all this. It is a lot to take in. I’m going to calm down and just take it slow. I have to keep my body balanced and I have just cold turkey the Ambien. I need to give myself some time to adjust to that.

All in all I am GOOD though! Much better honestly!

 

[Iceman1216]

Hey girl, Back of and take a brake!!
Go back to your normal dose on Medicines, that allowed you to be stable ( and write Fabulous posts !!
BOTOX is no fucking Joke!!! 40 shots of any drug is a Huge deal for your body and mind to adjust to, and it may not Like it???
we are all very uniqque human beings not one made exactlly the same, these drug companies just want the Average drug to sell to the most people for the most $$$$$$$ Its not really about care once it gets in to Big Pharmas hands, Its a very nice cover Helping people { who spend alot of $$}

 

[Painful One]

Hey girl, Back of and take a brake!!
Go back to your normal dose on Medicines, that allowed you to be stable ( and write Fabulous posts !!
BOTOX is no fucking Joke!!! 40 shots of any drug is a Huge deal for your body and mind to adjust to, and it may not Like it???
we are all very uniqque human beings not one made exactlly the same, these drug companies just want the Average drug to sell to the most people for the most $$$$$$$ Its not really about care once it gets in to Big Pharmas hands, Its a very nice cover Helping people { who spend alot of $$}

Thank you my friend! I need this reassurance and support right now.
I appreciate it greatly!
You are right. It is big $$$ and I need to not let others push me too hard.
my family is eager for me to just stop the medication. They do not get it at all!!
I WILL NOT BE PUSHED BEYOND MY BOUNDARIES!!!!!

 

[Iceman1216]

Yes
As we say in AA “ If you DON’T Got This .... You don’t GET It”
So hard to explain to people how it feels.
But return to Stable !!
No Cold Turkey Amnien How is that? My wife is 3-4 years on 10mgs a night andToo afraid it’s No sleep to get off? Does not sleep on it well anyway

but I empathizes with her and sleep
That’s my biggest fear and Trigger for my Norco
Love - ICE