doges are awesome. sad to have to put one down after watching it go def, blind, and immobile. I want to get a corgi.
Kind of getting off track ere tho… back to the taper.. I allowed myself to binge for a few days after re upping. Tired of wasting my time money and brain on this shit. I was watching videos of myself playing msic when I was sober, wih except maybe some weed, and compared to nw I feel like I cripple. It's time to get serious about my taper about. I started taking 1-2mg doses, but that ends today. .5mg dose and going to try 1-2mg max. Proabably going to hurt, but I don't think I'll be in danger. IF my posts become extremely ereratic and senseless then maybe PM me to get help lol.
Running/walking 3-5mi a day this week, every day. Usually morning and night walk/run/job. Also been working out a lot and staying busy with construction work. Been focusing on mentally simple but physically challenging tasks, as I've been too high to really get complex things done past few days. Wish I would have just stuck to the taper, i was pretty sure I had made it past the hardest part, but here I am again. At least I know what I am doing this time around, just struggle to manage self control.
I really need to work on having a close social structure... one that isn't "necessary" as in like family, NA friends, or work friends. I miss having friends that i hung out and did shit because we had common interest like music, jamming, hiking, and roadtrips. I guesss that's part of getting older, not entirely things people do so much at the age of 30, but I've never really socially grew past early 20s when my heacy drug use started. I feel a bit stunted. I know in time, and with challegning myself outside of my comfort zone, growth will be inevitable, but I also believe there is an element of play and fun that is necessary in life for not just enjoying life, but for real learning and growth.