Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

[Painful One]

Where I live even a doctor can prescribe methadone. (they prescribe suboxone) He prescribed me 300 mg oxy and the sob isn't even concerned. But like I said would it be in my best interest to go to methadone or try and taper oxy once again? If I go to er they will send me to a addicts' clinic they got downtown or worse, to psyche ward to I can cold turkey off.. The depression is my main problem otherwise I would wean off. I am on 2 antidepressants and have been on more but no use. Oxy is blocking AD effects. I am scared of using methadone because I am on klonopin.

Oh got you. That helps having all the information. Wow! 300 mg oxy a day. I think you gotta wean down real slow or you are really going to go through hell. This is going to be a long term project. You have chronic pain also. So, we need to figure out a better dosage for you. Too high of a dosage makes you feel like crap too.

I wouldn't go to the methadone. I thought maybe you were getting the oxy off the street or whatever. If you are being prescribed that then just slowly taper it down. Otherwise you will end up with the post acute withdrawal syndrome after you barely survived the coming off the oxy.

You are right about not wanting to mix the clonzepam/'klonopin with it also. Methadone would not be the choice I would make.

We are all just figuring out how to get through this ourselves so it's not like this is pro advise or anything.
It seems that we have all come to the same conclusion that keeping a balance and slowly adjusting it to where you feel and function the best and to keep a balance of that is the best way to go.

It might make you feel better to try to taper off the anti depressants. We all found that we felt better without them.
They made me feel horrible.

Think about it. Meditate on your situation and see what answers come to you.
That is what I do.

Nice to have you along. We are happy to help and put our heads together. Support each other.

 

[Painful One]

You will all be happy to know I survived the dentist!

I have a nice new tooth. Yay for that!

I'm glad it is over. I need to chill for a few.

 

[ShroomySatori]

I do too. There has been a lot going on lately and my body needs rest this evening. Coffees and bong tokes, in a pretty good mood.

 

[Painful One]

Thank you Shroomy. The "looks" are not much though. It is that Radiance that lights up a room that is the important thing.
You got it. It is just important to not have a low self esteem. If you don't think you are awesome who will? Lol!
You gotta be your own cheerleader sometimes.

Don't let others make you feel like you are inferior in anyway ya know? Everyone is just human. We all think the same things.
We go through the same or similar experiences in life.

I remember a girl who was in the hospital with me who ha

 

[Painful One]

Well that sucked. This website is all weird today on my computer.
My message didn't come through all the way and the edit button is not working either.

Hang on.

 

[Painful One]

Ha Ha! I can't remember what I said. Lol!!

Oh well...glad you are happy. Bong tokes and snoozing= YES!
Coffee for you and I shall have peppermint hot chocolate with whipped cream!
Sugar fix!

I need to get my blood pressure down from the anxiety of the dentist. It is not the pain that bothers me about the dentist either. The anxiety before going is what sucks! You are right about getting ready to go early too. I find the hardest thing is to get myself showered, dressed nice, ready to go. Not forgetting anything.

I think we are both doing very good Shroomy. I have actually been having times of feeling "happy" can you dig it?
It is a nice feeling huh? I remember happy!

 

[dopiejay]

I was hoping this sub would eventually go away that's stuck to my receptors but IDK, I am on clonazepam and death rate from methadone is pretty high though and I wish this depression had stabilized so I could wean off slowly but surely I really hate adding another drug with bad rating to my body. Why do you say hospital why not family doctor?

Dude my healthcare system is a joke lol. There are no family doctors. It's all general practitioners only way to see them is hospital. Thing is ur gonna be depressed quitting opioids, and what u said is right. The suboxone is sticking to your receptors so no matter how much opioids you take you won't feel the buzz (*to an extent). The depression comes when the buzz is gone so that's gonna be with you a little while. Depression and boredom are the worst two things for me quitting anything.

 

[dopiejay]

Where I live even a doctor can prescribe methadone. (they prescribe suboxone) He prescribed me 300 mg oxy and the sob isn't even concerned. But like I said would it be in my best interest to go to methadone or try and taper oxy once again? If I go to er they will send me to a addicts' clinic they got downtown or worse, to psyche ward to I can cold turkey off.. The depression is my main problem otherwise I would wean off. I am on 2 antidepressants and have been on more but no use. Oxy is blocking AD effects. I am scared of using methadone because I am on klonopin.

My friend whose on methadone had it suggested to him by his dr. He has to take monitored doses at the local pharmacy. But again no family doctors or anything here. We have a hard time with this stuff.

 

[ShroomySatori]

To your messages above I think we are both coping pretty well nowadays. It is nice to be able to be happy some of the time. Today I'm really confused and sort of out of it. Took a nap and it feels like I woke up twice real slowly and now night time is approaching and I didn't really accomplish much. Still though I've been overworking myself and my body isn't used to it yet. You would think approaching a year but it takes a very long time. Just watching tv in a stoned daze and I did have 3 meals today I think that's important for me. Since I get depressed then I stop eating then I have no energy and don't do anything so I gotta remember to eat and healthy stuff too. We are on the same page about a lot of this it is hard but we can and do manage. I wish I was a little further along in life but it's okay now to see the next day. I really hope after all this napping and eating I wake up with lots of energy tomorrow. I still have to recover from my workout getting back in shape is taking a lot. My cardio has to be really good. Thanks for the compliment you know I have self esteem issues with that and problems and stuff I'm really insecure I guess even if a girl is really into me I seem to self sabotage, but I've made some really nice experiences happen lately and in itself thet is amazing. I have not had very much fun generally speaking all year and this has been unexpected and yeah I'm typically overall more relaxed and happier this way if I really like someone. You can tell I really like her most likely. I want someone who complements me. I'm sure I will find her one day might already have how would I know but if I can do that then I am absolutely recovering.

 

[dopiejay]

You will all be happy to know I survived the dentist!

I have a nice new tooth. Yay for that!

I'm glad it is over. I need to chill for a few.

If someone offered me two choices, a bullet to the head or a dentist visit, I'd take the bullet smiling lmao. I fucking HATE the dentist.

 

[ShroomySatori]

That is rather opinionated. lol.

Apparently my teeth are healthier than ever they were surprised this year (after all the hard drugs... as I mixed H with C and meth and stuff as well)... but I think I really messed up my nose. These are things that go in one ear and out the other while using. I couldn't take pills orally I have digestive issues to begin with, and the 15 minute onset of sniffing good H was really effective for pain relief and consistent in effect. I don't need the pain relief anymore I haven't had any cravings for the drug but I should obviously not disregard that they could strike at any time. I often get really high over the holidays as well so I have to be careful. It would never be worth it to do once ever again and never was.

 

[ShroomySatori]

painful one you are working through all this stuff very well. the pain is bad and partly untreated and chronic. Probably feel like nobody cares cause of your family. I do, though, and so do you and others. You still care a lot about yourself. Haven't given up. You are not neglecting yourself it must be tough feeling isolated as well. Overall this has probably been the worst thing that ever happened to me it is just a horrible thing to have and then imagine yourself not having the pain. It's still the same as it ever was for me, it's like I desensitized myself to it a bit. I've felt it for so long it's hard to care but if anyone ever brings it up I can say something nonchalantly that they find shockingly bad and i hate to see symptathy most of the time like it's life i hurt my back and little do they know anyone one of these two donee habits is going to get me young. there is like, no avoiding that. i'd like to be happy with these disabilities it's really hard to.

This injury changed my life. It's just not cool. Things are just different now and it is hard to live with and I used to know what to do.

 

[Painful One]

Me too! Hate the dentist!
I told him I had such anxiety about coming that I was up half the night. Lol!
I asked him if other people got that anxious about the dentist and he said "sadly, yes."

Haha! So we are not the only ones.
My mouth is sore but it is great to have my tooth fixed. It feels better than it did.
He fixed the problem with my teeth clenching in pain thing too. He made sure there were no high places that were taking all the pressure of that. My teeth close more evenly now so the pressure is a lot more evenly distributed.

 

[Painful One]

That is rather opinionated. lol.

Apparently my teeth are healthier than ever they were surprised this year (after all the hard drugs... as I mixed H with C and meth and stuff as well)... but I think I really messed up my nose. These are things that go in one ear and out the other while using. I couldn't take pills orally I have digestive issues to begin with, and the 15 minute onset of sniffing good H was really effective for pain relief and consistent in effect. I don't need the pain relief anymore I haven't had any cravings for the drug but I should obviously not disregard that they could strike at any time. I often get really high over the holidays as well so I have to be careful. It would never be worth it to do once ever again and never was.

I was hoping your nose problem would heal but you have mentioned it often.
Still having trouble with that huh?
That sucks. I'm sorry about that.
Try and heal it using meditation.
I have managed to heal a few injuries that way.

 

[Painful One]

painful one you are working through all this stuff very well. the pain is bad and partly untreated and chronic. Probably feel like nobody cares cause of your family. I do, though, and so do you and others. You still care a lot about yourself. Haven't given up. You are not neglecting yourself it must be tough feeling isolated as well. Overall this has probably been the worst thing that ever happened to me it is just a horrible thing to have and then imagine yourself not having the pain. It's still the same as it ever was for me, it's like I desensitized myself to it a bit. I've felt it for so long it's hard to care but if anyone ever brings it up I can say something nonchalantly that they find shockingly bad and i hate to see symptathy most of the time like it's life i hurt my back and little do they know anyone one of these two donee habits is going to get me young. there is like, no avoiding that. i'd like to be happy with these disabilities it's really hard to.

This injury changed my life. It's just not cool. Things are just different now and it is hard to live with and I used to know what to do.

Thanks a lot for that Shroomy. Yes, it is bad and partly untreated. I think I'm going to let the doctor give me some instant release medication next time I see them. I have tried long enough to make it on a dosage that is not enough at times. As much as I hate to do that. It makes my quality of life better to have the right coverage. I can just use those when absolutely necessary also.
I need something for when the pain flares up so bad that I am considering jumping out of the car or something to make it stop.

Yeah, my family has not been nice through this. I know it is hard to understand but I expected better from them. I may not understand what someone else is going through but I am at least able to have compassion and I certainly would not try and make things harder for them!

I do care about myself. I am struggling to keep up on taking care of myself but I make sure I do. I have felt my worth.
It is hard being so isolated. I'm very grateful to have this computer!

I hate to see "sympathy" in people's eyes too but you know, that is alright. I usually see respect along with it from people who really know me. I and I think most of us, just want to be treated normally. Not like we are retarded or completely crippled.

These injuries have been life changing and are very hard to live with. I have so much respect for you guys here! I know you are all tough and amazing souls! Don't let it get you down too much. This life is short really. One can't take it too serious. I try to find the humor in everything and it helps.

 

[Painful One]

Dude my healthcare system is a joke lol. There are no family doctors. It's all general practitioners only way to see them is hospital. Thing is ur gonna be depressed quitting opioids, and what u said is right. The suboxone is sticking to your receptors so no matter how much opioids you take you won't feel the buzz (*to an extent). The depression comes when the buzz is gone so that's gonna be with you a little while. Depression and boredom are the worst two things for me quitting anything.

Zagor11- how long has it been since you used any suboxone? Did you just use that to bridge gaps in your prescription or you tried to switch over to that or what? How long did you use the suboxone? Did you use the suboxone and the oxy together?

It seems like you said it had been a month since using any suboxone (sorry for my memory issues, I just want to make sure I understand correctly so I can try to help).

So, you went back to the oxy and now you are just feeling majorly depressed with no pain relief correct?

I'm just trying to understand exactly so I can try to help more.

 

[EPL1]

Oh yeah PO, I literally don't step foot in my dentists's office without Ativan on board. ; )


Glad you got it it done though, you're a badass PO.

And DJ, I hear ya about the dentist. And EVERY TIME you type about the sorry state of health care where you live I literally feel sick inside for you. Having pain that you have to live with every day is bad enough, we sure don't need any hassle getting our medication or stigma when we go to get it filled.

Love all you guys.

Ash.

I need to get my blood pressure down from the anxiety of the dentist. It is not the pain that bothers me about the dentist either. The anxiety before going is what sucks! You are right about getting ready to go early too. I find the hardest thing is to get myself showered, dressed nice, ready to go. Not forgetting anything.

 

[EPL1]

You're sounding good lately shroomy, much better. 3 meals a day is really great, you sound a lot like me, in that eating because of the chronic pain and the meds I'm on make it difficult to get a meal in me, and I'm a tiny little thing as it is. Some days all I can manage is a protein shake. So good job on that!!!

You are the master of your own destiny, and I see you are making things happen and changes in the past little while, good job my friend!!! You know we are all here to support and love you too!

Hugs shroom,
your friend,
Ash.

To your messages above I think we are both coping pretty well nowadays. It is nice to be able to be happy some of the time. Today I'm really confused and sort of out of it. Took a nap and it feels like I woke up twice real slowly and now night time is approaching and I didn't really accomplish much. Still though I've been overworking myself and my body isn't used to it yet. You would think approaching a year but it takes a very long time. Just watching tv in a stoned daze and I did have 3 meals today I think that's important for me. Since I get depressed then I stop eating then I have no energy and don't do anything so I gotta remember to eat and healthy stuff too. We are on the same page about a lot of this it is hard but we can and do manage. I wish I was a little further along in life but it's okay now to see the next day. I really hope after all this napping and eating I wake up with lots of energy tomorrow. I still have to recover from my workout getting back in shape is taking a lot. My cardio has to be really good. Thanks for the compliment you know I have self esteem issues with that and problems and stuff I'm really insecure I guess even if a girl is really into me I seem to self sabotage, but I've made some really nice experiences happen lately and in itself thet is amazing. I have not had very much fun generally speaking all year and this has been unexpected and yeah I'm typically overall more relaxed and happier this way if I really like someone. You can tell I really like her most likely. I want someone who complements me. I'm sure I will find her one day might already have how would I know but if I can do that then I am absolutely recovering.

 

[ShroomySatori]

Thanks Ash, I am feeling good. There are so many problems to deal with it's overwhelming but I think if I put my mind to it I can find my way. Well thank you kindly for your continued help.

The diet change, wonder if that is associated with chronic pain. Maybe I am just a lot less active than before, but even when I exercise a lot I never really seem to have an appetite anymore. I'll eat something healthy once a day, at east. It is definitely anxious too my stomach gets in a knot, one of the main reasons I smoke pot is so that I can eat better. It is annoying for me because I will get big from full body workouts and then really skinny in withdrawal sometimes and it fluctuates a little like that, almost seasonally and it's really frustrating but I'm never overweight. Either muscular and toned or a skinrat pretty much, lol. To think I look healthier on the drugs it's absurd how much I need them...

If I am the master of my own destiny, I must also be a master of self sabotage. I think that overall I am okay. I have been reading a lot this morning. Not too many pages I'm slow from now reading much and it's a complicated book, but I have been engaged in the reading. That is a good sign, I've been frustrated being too depressed to read for most of this year and having a pile of new books.

Just have to keep the positivity and awareness going it's hard. It's hard when everything is so stressful I want to jump out of my skin and escape. Ever since I stopped H in particular two July's ago nothing has ever really been the same. It changed me as a person. I have to learn to live with that and the lost time and opportunities, there is only so much I can do and life is flying by. My panic feelings are up today.

Well wishes, can't believe it is pretty much the holidays. Time is flying by and I want real changes by a year. Something more concrete than just progress like a job for instance.

 

[ShroomySatori]

Thanks a lot for that Shroomy. Yes, it is bad and partly untreated. I think I'm going to let the doctor give me some instant release medication next time I see them. I have tried long enough to make it on a dosage that is not enough at times. As much as I hate to do that. It makes my quality of life better to have the right coverage. I can just use those when absolutely necessary also.
I need something for when the pain flares up so bad that I am considering jumping out of the car or something to make it stop.

Yeah, my family has not been nice through this. I know it is hard to understand but I expected better from them. I may not understand what someone else is going through but I am at least able to have compassion and I certainly would not try and make things harder for them!

I do care about myself. I am struggling to keep up on taking care of myself but I make sure I do. I have felt my worth.
It is hard being so isolated. I'm very grateful to have this computer!

I hate to see "sympathy" in people's eyes too but you know, that is alright. I usually see respect along with it from people who really know me. I and I think most of us, just want to be treated normally. Not like we are retarded or completely crippled.

These injuries have been life changing and are very hard to live with. I have so much respect for you guys here! I know you are all tough and amazing souls! Don't let it get you down too much. This life is short really. One can't take it too serious. I try to find the humor in everything and it helps.

I don't think they've ever one asked me how my back pain is. It is misunderstood. Not that I care, it's just you'd maybe expect a little more when it is life changing and a disability. Most seem too competitive for any sort of compassion towards others these days. I'm pretty lost but at least I don't have those very negative feelings anymore. Just feel burnt out and I have a lot to do. Can't help but be a little nervous I could tackle life's challenges before but with problems like these it's getting to be a little much. You are a good person. I wish I knew why things have to be this way. In my early 20's I wasn't expecting any sort of disability at this age and when the drugs were working things were great. It is harder now I should hang in there as best I can, you too. It can't and won't last forever and I don't like how life is short and I feel like I've been wasting mine. So long as it doesn't keep happening but I'm sad. I can't help but be sad a lot of the time.