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Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

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Hi Painful!!!

Sorry to hear about the reduced med amount, that's tough. But you're tougher, and we are all here for you my dear friend.

You know where I am if you need me,
your friend,
Ash.

Painful One said:
Nice job Squeaky!
I would stick to your dosage this round and not run out. Good plan! The loperamide sucks. You will feel better soon if you just stick to your oxy dose. It takes a few days for your body to adjust but then you are fairly comfortable even through the lope withdrawal.
It is kind of peripheral type withdrawal. Lots of body pain. You want that gone ASAP and the only way is through and off the loperamide. It goes away. Just stick it out. It's worth it. Your sleep will return and body pain, digestive issues will feel a lot better.

I did pretty good this month. I am on a reduced dosage of my morphine right now. Sucks. I have to stick to this lower dosage for a few days until I get my refill. I did not run myself totally out though! This is uncomfortable though. I'm going to supplement with weed. Lol!

Keep up the good work guys! It sounds like everyone is doing pretty good!
Nice work my friends!!
❤️
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EPL1 said:
Wow that's great mtop,

Great job with the taper!! Just try to be kind and patient with yourself, and know that you have friends here cheering you on.

You can do this and we will all be here for you.

Your friend,
Ash.
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Thanks for the kind words, means a lot to me. Hope your doing well!
 
1st post. Please be gentle. I’ve been trying (unsuccessfully) to decrease my scripts because honestly it’s kinda hard to operate sometimes. Here is what I am being prescribed. Please excuse I don’t have the bottles in front of me so I don’t know the dosages. I’ll look them up in the afternoon.

Morning: Lexapro or escitalopram(sp?)
during the day: Xanax (alprazolam) x3, intra-nasal ketamine, oxycodone if needed
night: amitryptaline x4, Trazadone x2, Clonazapam x1, seroquel x2-4

I'vepretty much cut out the oxy, down to 2 amytritaline, and maybe 1 seroquel. Ive tried cutting my lexapro tabs in half for a few days then try t go without.....crazy withdrawal. What is the probable culprit? The lexapro? Or stopping the clonazapam, cutting back on seroquel, or amytriptaline? I see my doc in a month to see what I can do. I can’t live in the fog anymore.

thanks!
Rugged
 
I can't read anyone's stuff right now since my life is in danger i'll catch up later.

My etizolam supply became so low beginning on Halloween night, that I have had to ration it until this coming weekend.

It's insanity. I just made it another 8 hours on a dose that is way past the safety zone to begin with, I don't even feel right dosing that every 6 hours. My tolerance must be dropping like crazy though because have I ever felt rough. This is tearing me apart and there is no sign of it stopping. I honestly for a while was completely unable to form new memories. There are huge lapses where I remember nothing and it's a good thing I don't have much going on in my life or I'd be wondering what the hell I've been up to. It is relentless. My life is on hold until I get the drug and can increase my dose by an increment so that I don't end up suffering this much. It's so frustrating. Like I haven't been alive since last Wednesday, in this twilight zone, reminds me of a severe cocaine binge crash in some ways but much, much worse. The only day I had that was good was when I had xanax for like a day and a half to treat myself but one hour is enough of this shit and it isn't by choice. I was stabilizing and tapering, I'll have to stabilize on a lower dose now if I make it through. Never been so scared in the world of drugs in my life.

I resent getting into this shit. I didn't know what they were. I had been having the attacks every day for a year and I was broken, went to the ER, back again, and again, finally a xanax script for two months then cut me off abruptly. Alright then... I am a surviver. Etizolam exists. These fuckers there was not a word of warning and a panicked man can't think straight. That's the one thing I can't truly fully blame myself for. I love getting high as fuck on opiates as well as how they treat my chronic pain. I think that if I can handle oral codeine not with daily use, I can handle oral morphine. Since 30% or so it varies widely, of the codeine is metabolized to morphine. I didn't know this so I guess I've been taking oral morphine. Never cared for that one it's an awesome painkiller and sedative though and I'm just trying to avoid a fatal seizure at this point. Like my dealer telling me his friends were having them it was ominous. So ominous because I realized they had heavy enough habits for that to happen and months from now I'll be lucky to be taking that low a dose. It's good to see someone actually warning people though, he knows I have a habit and asked specifically if I had ever been close to a seizure before. Probably to cover his ass. This is ridiculous why am I not even working with the health care system I'll tell you why because they have had 8 fucking years to help and their time is up I'd rather die than put my life in their hands.
 
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Thinking about you, Shroomy.... I wish you didn't have to be in this place. Do you have a plan for getting more benzos?

Ruggedroot said:
1st post. Please be gentle. I’ve been trying (unsuccessfully) to decrease my scripts because honestly it’s kinda hard to operate sometimes. Here is what I am being prescribed. Please excuse I don’t have the bottles in front of me so I don’t know the dosages. I’ll look them up in the afternoon.

Morning: Lexapro or escitalopram(sp?)
during the day: Xanax (alprazolam) x3, intra-nasal ketamine, oxycodone if needed
night: amitryptaline x4, Trazadone x2, Clonazapam x1, seroquel x2-4

I'vepretty much cut out the oxy, down to 2 amytritaline, and maybe 1 seroquel. Ive tried cutting my lexapro tabs in half for a few days then try t go without.....crazy withdrawal. What is the probable culprit? The lexapro? Or stopping the clonazapam, cutting back on seroquel, or amytriptaline? I see my doc in a month to see what I can do. I can’t live in the fog anymore.

thanks!
Rugged
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Hey rugged, welcome, you don't have to be scared of posting here, this forum is very friendly and always supportive. :)

Well, all of the substances you're taking have a withdrawal syndrome. The benzos (xanax and clonazepam) are by far the most addictive. If you're cutting your dose of those, you'll be feeling some pretty bad withdrawal, if you've been on your dose a while. Benzos need to be tapered very slowly... your best bet is to talk to your doctor and have them taper you down, under medical supervision. Benzo withdrawal is dangerous, if it gets bad enough you can have a seizure.

The lexapro also has a withdrawal, a different sort of withdrawal than benzos but very unpleasant as well. Usually SSRIs like escitalopram produce a sort of "brain zap" feeling and a lot of anxiety and weirdness during withdrawal, but it's less dangerous than benzo withdrawal.

Seroquel also has a withdrawal syndrome... from what I have read, it involves nausea, vomiting and diarrhea, and dizziness and irritability.

Amitryptaline also has a withdrawal, but from what I understand it's limited to headache, nausea and lack of energy.

Oxy is addictive too, of course, but if you haven't been taking them consistently and you've already pretty much cut it out, you might be out of the woods there, or it might also be a small factor in what you're feeling, but it's hard to tell since there are so many medications.

I am guessing the benzos are the main culprit here, and they're the ones you need to take the most seriously as the rest of the medications can be cut out abruptly without it being dangerous, but with benzos you really need to taper slowly. If I were you, I'd cut out one thing at a time so you're only experiencing withdrawals from one medication at a time, and do the benzos last because they will take the longest and be the most unpleasant. It'll take some time, but you can do this. :)
 
Ruggedroot- Shadowmeister is spot-on with his assessment. Particularly cutting out only one at a time. Withdrawls are magnified by eachother. If you have been on these meds for a long time then a few more months wont kill you- they could in fact save your life.
Be the tortoise, not the hare.
 
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Sorry to disrupt what you are all writing about I am in a state of sheer terror distracting myself but yeah shadow dude:

Shadowmeister, yeah I'm editing this to say I have a reasonable supply. I feel back to normal about 50% after 20 minute. I took a lot just now and I feel it putting me to sleep. I didn't dose excessively but the levels dropped so much. This morning was when things started feeling really dangerous. Anyone sensible who was feeling those sensations would take a trip to the hospital and it was nowhere near cold turkey.

It's scary. I wish they didn't exist, I think I would have found a better way around my panic attacks if I had tried those techniques and natural medicines first before going straight to antipsychotics and benzos. There's no point worrying about it. My life is my life. I was in no position to think straight at the time, having panic attack after panic attack for a year. I've always been the wildcard. Could end up a billionaire could end up dead tomorrow. It's not just that my life fluctuates in so many ways it's a delicate balance of imbalances. There is a lot of fluctuation that goes on in my life.

Mom brought me lunch yay.
 
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Hey all ! Being induced next week , hoping I can stay strong and not go back on the oxy after delivery . So scared that when they give me some perks after birth or if I need a csection it?s gonna make me want more again. Upset my husband never really quit the oxy , he says he has cut back but who knows . It?s really sucks that I can never seem to feel that happiness and energy organically, it?s like once you get that fake high from the oxy nothing ever compares . Glad to see everyone still around and fighting the good fight ?.
 
Wow, exciting! Congrats, I hope everything goes smoothly. That sucks your husband hasn't quit... that really speaks to your strength that you did even though he didn't, though. I suspect that having a new baby will produce all kinds of biological responses in you, and give you a powerful reason to stay healthy. I'm wishing you lots of joy and love in this new chapter of your life. <3

Also, hopefully you can find some hope in the fact that I quit a 10 year opiate addiction almost 5 years ago, and I've felt 100% without them as if it had never happened, for a long time now. Just make sure to be healthy, eat well, exercise, and you'll continue to recover. You've come so far! Eventually you won't even think about opiates anymore.
 
Thanks shadow. I’ve definitely had the brain zaps and some very strange out of body feelings when I try to cut down the lexapro. I don’t take the Xanax very often. The Clonazapam, I do have to take every night along with the rest of the scripts. My doc has prescribed Modafinil so I can function during the day, but even with insurance the script is $300 so I can’t afford it right now. I think I can cross off the oxy (been 3 months without), and Xanax (I rarely take it unless I get into a panic or hyper vigilant state). I’m down to 2 amytriptaline at night. Unless I really can’t fall asleep I don’t take more than 1 Seroquel. The Trazadone I take 2 pretty religiously to prevent nightmares/flashbacks. I tried to order some generic modafinil, but it was garbage. I go in every 3-4 months for a 800mg ketamine infusion, and have a spinal cord stimulator connected at my C2. I’ve had over 17 trauma injuries in the .mil and .gov. Lots of physical damage t my nervous system.

Thank you you so much. All you said makes sense to me immediately.ive been on this regimen for 4 years now. Funny how the opioids are the easiest to quit, but get more press than anything else.

thanks! -Rugged
 
Hey all, I've been hard at the studying lately and have been reading through all the comments. I don't have time to reply to everyone individually, even though I want to.

I just want to say you guys are all doing great, even if you think otherwise. You're trying and that's the hardest part of this battle, getting the courage and strength to actually try. Congratulations to everyone.

I've been frequenting this forum a lot and I feel like its such a great place for people to talk, help one another, etc.

If anyone wants to pm me go right ahead. I've been very busy the past few weeks and feel like I've been neglecting u guys. :(

Much love, J
 
Seems like there is too much to catch up on, well, I decided to just slightly raise my daily dose and keep tapering as this is unsustainable and it very nearly killed me. I just woke up from I'm already having to watch my supply which is a good thing I'll use less but I better maintain it throughout this process. I could sense the grim reaper at my doorstep, man. I've put myself in a situation so dangerous that if I can find a way out I truly believe that I can do anything. However, this time in the world of drugs it isn't heroin. I'm not going to get lucky and walk away unscathed with a corroded nose there are going to be serious repercussions and I'm nervous. The withdrawal is extreme.
Been working on this cute girl for what seems like forever. She comes and goes. This one is special. It isn't anything we just talk and get along well it's kind of cute and there is some volatility but it's chill. I want to hang out with her just us and well sleep with her. She was so hard to get after a month I started ignoring her completely cause I was frustrated and randomly hit her up in benzo wd's way later on and things are nice between us now she was just down to open up to me after I was mean to her (I'm not anymore... she was being a damned brat I had to been telling all sorts of people off lol not always in my favour). I've known her all year, she is always switching up her hair too and has a hot colour split at the moment. Creative girl who is well read and artsy I like that a lot she's chill. Very intelligent. Yeah etizolam kills sex drive with all the prolactin it releases that is terrible for guys it's a bad drug to use at all.
 
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3 days til I get my next script. I think I have been out for two weeks now.

This is getting stupid. Im gonna be smarter this time. (Im pretty sure I said the same thing last month and the month before that) Apparently my advice giving is good, but my advice taking.... not so much.

If someone could PM me a punch in the face, that might help.
 
I've got some GABA withdrawal creeping in. I guess phenibut every other day is gonna actually be a little hard to get to. It's nothing too bad but I feel out of sorts and like I don't know what to say. Seeing auras a little bit and generally I feel nervous. It's almost bedtime though, hopefully I'll be able to sleep. Then in the morning I can have some phenibut.

Man, I wish I hadn't been so reckless with GHB. That stuff is no joke. Still, I'm extremely grateful that I didn't get more (it's not even an option in my mind), because I know it could be a whole lot worse. Hell, it could be benzos... this is my first round with real GABAergic drug withdrawal, and it's so much different than opiate withdrawal.

Squeaky said:
Apparently my advice giving is good, but my advice taking.... not so much.
Click to expand...

Giving advice is always much easier than taking your own!
 
It's entirely different and I hate it so much more. I hate it so much and I am in for hell.

Same, someone kick me in the balls just make sure not too hard a kick please. The fuck am I thinking risking my life like this and being too messed up to realize the full extent that I could throw away my future after 30 years of living. I need to stick with the taper and get my shit together, I'm already worried about getting enough money in time.

Man, I wish I hadn't been so reckless with the benzos and etizolam. How I wish that were so, it's holding me back in life so much right now it's completely insane. Even when I have my fix. It wasn't like that before I am a functional junkie and was taking 2mg klonopin a day back then. Reasonable for a severe panic disorder. And none of this short acting shit, GHB is short acting too so I'm assuming the withdrawals are just as bad as with benzos or alcohol. In my opinion nothing can remotely touch those withdrawals simply due to the risk of death. It's just a godawful feeling, can't really compare withdrawals there isn't any point but all I can say is I have never in 15 years of drug use experienced anything remotely as dangerous to my health as this shit.

I can't take my own damn advice or anyone else's ever.
 
GHB withdrawal is probably about as bad other than it lasting a shorter time. Fortunately I'm not too deep in. I slept last night with the aid of a couple of benadryl and I actually feel better today than I did yesterday. I'll see how it goes, might take some phenibut today or maybe not. Last night I had a rapid heart beat and runny nose and watery eyes and shaky hands and I just felt totally out of sorts and nervous. This morning I don't have any of that, but I do feel kind of flat-lined emotionally.
 
Hey Guys,

So sorry to hear you lost your stepfather Uncle Jocko. My sincere condolences sweetheart. ❤️
That is tough.
Nice job for being accountable and honest. You are doing a great job U.J.!
I believe you will find meaningful and amazing things to replace the "void" that the oxy fills for you.

I have been sick for a few days. I had a short supply of my pain medication at the end of the "month" until refill day. I was not feeling well. Yesterday was refill day and I went a bit overboard on my dosage. After not feeling good for a week and having so much pain, I just wanted some relief! I finally got some relief but I have a bit of a headache today from taking too much Morphine.

I am stopping that right now and getting back to my regular schedule! These up's and horrific down's are just the worst as you guys know. I'm back on track now!

Sounds like most everyone is having some problems right now. Sorry to hear this guys.

We just have to keep our dosage schedule as stable as we can and keep on working our way back to balance and enjoying life.
Don't give up friends! Shit happens. Just get right back up and keep working things out.
Slowly but surely we will get there friends! I want to see all of us feeling better!

Congratulations Larimar! I'm really, really proud of you! Well done on getting through the pregnancy without any oxy and now you are going to have a beautiful, healthy baby girl! Enjoy!! Your beautiful family and a new baby will make life so much more wonderful!
You got this! Enjoy this!

Hang in there friends. Just keep doing the best you can. Keep on tapering and keep on keeping on!
Love you all!
❤️❤️❤️
 
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