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The sun goes down

carter_19

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 24, 2002
Messages
148
Location
tn
When the sun goes down
Over fields of green
And amber turns to gray
On pillows stranger’s heads alight
At the end of one more day
And in their dreams
No thought is turned
To the fading of the light
They take for granted waking
And the passing of the night
But nothing last forever
Everything has an end
And when you go, no one is there
No lover, nor a friend

Nothing stops your passing
Not your gender or your age
Your soul may over flow with love
Or be filled with blinding rage
No matter how much we steal or give
We’re all denied the choice to live
And in the end
When the sun goes down
We all fade away

Alone we go at the fade of light,
Shaking and afraid
Into eternity, black as night
Without the money we made
Whether we’re wrong, or maybe right
In the end, all is lost
No matter how long or hard we fight,
Death is the final cost
It’s sad to see such a tragic sight,
As a young man laid to rest
Taken from the world today
When he was at his best

As the sun went down,
At the end of the day
My friend quietly faded away
Forever gone. Yet forever here
In every memory, and every tear
 
Last edited:
that, is one of the best pieces i've read in here recently. very very well done, congratulations. the tone reminds me of dylan's do not go gentle into the good night.

this is really amazing work.

just some suggestions:

"No lover, not a friend", i might change that to "No lover, no friend"

"No matter how much we steal of give", did u mean "No matter how much we steal or give" ?

14.gif
 
Wow... very very impressed!

My only suggestion was that you used the word fade two lines in a row... not sure what else could go there but...

When the sun goes down
We all fade away

Alone we go at the fade of light,
Shaking and afraid


Really liked this :)
 
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