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The Suicide Support Thread

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Yeah I've heard from her. :)

Think she's got a cool activity to do with her son and a piss up with the local football yoot lined up this weekend so hopefully she should have some fun. Whole lot more interesting than my weekend anyway.8(
 
Just one hope to die heroin addicts perspective here... but suboxone saved my life... well suboxone and prison. However, if I would have found suboxone before prison it may have been avoided. It's still a daily struggle. But it helps. Stay away from methadone and find a suboxone doctor who'll work with you. That is if you really want to quit. Suboxone offers no euphoria like methadone. You want to lower your dose not increase it.
 
foolsgold said:
i am not wallowing in it i am fighting it the best i can but ive got fuck all really to be here for its a war i am losing at the minute if the rope had not snapped the other day i wouldn't be here now
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I apologize for sounding like you were wallowing. It was me who wanted to wallow, meaning I was not wanting to be a big help. I was being a bitch. I am a nurse and I was feeling sorry for myself, always helping people and just once wanted some help and no one was here. It was no big deal. I called a friend the next day. I am taking topomax and it is making me bipoloar. My problems are insignificant really. I hope you find what you need.
 
I don't think it is ever possible to know why some people die young and others do not--people with belief systems that say there is a grand plan of some kind will say it is for a reason and those without such beliefs will say it is simply like one zebra picked out of the herd rather than another. It is understandable to focus on death as a release from pain and it is also understandable that it can be just another distraction from the pain of wanting so badly to live free of pain. The truth is that all emotional pain is fluid, it comes and goes, intensifies and then mellows, but we use our thoughts to hold it in place and to intensify it even more. I really hope that you can find some peace away from these thoughts, foolsgold.
 
herbavore said:
I don't think it is ever possible to know why some people die young and others do not--people with belief systems that say there is a grand plan of some kind will say it is for a reason and those without such beliefs will say it is simply like one zebra picked out of the herd rather than another. It is understandable to focus on death as a release from pain and it is also understandable that it can be just another distraction from the pain of wanting so badly to live free of pain. The truth is that all emotional pain is fluid, it comes and goes, intensifies and then mellows, but we use our thoughts to hold it in place and to intensify it even more. I really hope that you can find some peace away from these thoughts, foolsgold.
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Corazon said:
Hang in there FoolsGold
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thank you both going to Scarborough Friday to see someone about day release drug counselling see what happens maybe a walk on the cliffs or the beach most likely the beach
 
cheers mate just wish the personality in my mind would make its mind up as what to do ive cut myself up badly with the mix of benzo guessed that would work did it fuck the nylon is shit it snapped plenty of baler bind kicking round thought just that one really hurts i remember from as a kid


God knows you're lonely souls
God knows you're lonely souls
God knows you're lonely souls
Yeah, yeah

I believe there's a time and a place
To let your mind drift and get out of this place
I believe there's a day and a place
That we will go to and I know you wanna share

There's no secret to living
(There's no secret to living)
Just keep on walking
There's no secret to dying
(There's no secret to dying)
Just keep on flying

I'm gonna die in a place that don't know my name
I'm gonna die in a space that don't hold my fame

God knows you're lonely souls
God knows you're lonely souls

I believe there's a time when the cord of life
Should be cut, my friends
(Cut the cord, my friend)
I believe there's a time when the cord can be cut
And this vision ends
(Let this vision end)

But I'm gonna die in a place that don't know my name
And I'm gonna cry in a space that don't hold my name

Walking in the cold, just keep on flying
There'll be a searchlight on the mountain high

God knows you're lonely souls
God knows you're lonely souls
God knows you're lonely souls
God knows you're lonely souls
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, I'm a lonely soul

I'm gonna die in a place that don't know my name
I'm gonna die in a place that don't know my name

God knows you are lonely souls
Lonely souls, lonely souls
Lonely soul, I'm a lonely soul

So long, little chapel
Sweet is the sound
Pack up your light
Pack up your light
Say goodbye to the Holy water life
Sweet sound, in and out
Ahh
Pushing it in
 
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I just imagined my death and how my family would react to it.
I visualized it all in my head and I still can't fucking cry or show any emotion. Why am I so cold?
Suicide note sticking out of my pocket, the first aid personnel crying in the ambulance, my mother leaning over my cold body and praying to whatever god there is I keep breathing...
This is how an angel dies, flying over the bay with one eye on the target. Maybe I should cry for help? Help for what? Maybe I'm a different breed.
What the fuck am I?
 
i dont know when i think about it, after all the near misses through alchohol poising, all i can picture my parents doing is saying "finaly its over"
 
^And I can tell you, glitter_kiss, just how wrong they would be.:( Hang on, sweetie. You've been really making big leaps lately. Here is a poem for you and everyone else:

“When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it is over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.”
― Mary Oliver
 
plmar said:
I just imagined my death and how my family would react to it.
I visualized it all in my head and I still can't fucking cry or show any emotion. Why am I so cold?
Suicide note sticking out of my pocket, the first aid personnel crying in the ambulance, my mother leaning over my cold body and praying to whatever god there is I keep breathing...
This is how an angel dies, flying over the bay with one eye on the target. Maybe I should cry for help? Help for what? Maybe I'm a different breed.
What the fuck am I?
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A lack of affect is normal when people suffer from depression.

I am no stranger to it.

I wish you the best of luck Plmar <3
 
Livedit, there are so many people here that live with bipolar. It is daunting. Keep seeking help--it is out there but so is a lot of incompetence and I know that can get so exhausting. Have you checked out the Mental Health sub-forum? You may want to start a thread about what in particular is the most overwhelming right now for you and see if you can get support from people that have been there. Best wishes and much love.<3

herby
 
I know what it is like to wish I was dead but I don't know what it is like to go thru the motions to accomplish this in my mind.

What I can do is tell you what it is like to live in the mess of a loved one's suicide. You cannot imagine the grief those left behind will feel. If just one person loves you, don't do it. Find something to hold on to. Think of your mother, the grief of a mother surviving a son or daughter is greatest I've ever witnessed.

When I go to my "healing hearts" meetings once a month, I am the only man there. Almost exclusively, all the other attendees are mothers. No one else will take your suicide as hard as your mother. I have not seen my mother happy in the half year since my brother took his own life; I've seen her sad, sometimes angry like never before and sometimes just there, but I have not heard her laugh in a very long time.

My brother told me a week before he traveled on that he was depressed and felt suicidal. I have dealt with depression as long as I can remember so I didn't understand what he was telling me. Pretend that I am your brother or sister, you can't imagine the guilt I've internalized over this.

He shoot himself in a bathroom closet while his girlfriend fled with his four (now five) year old daughter in her arms. Pretend that is your daughter or son, imagine how the empty seat at every birthday is going to feel as she continues to grow into adulthood

He was my oldest brother and my idol. Suicide is contagious. If he couldn't cut it, how can I.

Try to think beyond yourself.

I go over and over in my head wondering what exactly happened in that closet. I obsess over it. But I will never know and I have to find peace with that.

I'm just saying, you may think you've thought thru the repercussions of what you want to do, but unless you have survived the suicide of someone you truly love then you have no idea what pain you are about to inflict upon those dearest to you.

If this is off topic, please delete.
 
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