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The Suicide Support Thread

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I'm running on adrenalin, having problems with my son's sperm donor dad (ex, abusive asshole) and I'm having a weekend away which is going to be awesome and I'm so worried he's going to show up and cause problems for my carer. Can't even turn my phone off over the weekend incase there is something wrong at home. I've been alternating by feeling rage at what he's been doing over the last year (harassment and a load of really bad serious stuff that I'm not allowed to talk about) fear he might show up drunk (ex h addict turned alcoholic who is no longer sober) and make a scene and disturb the neighbours as I'm in one of the richest/nicest areas of where I live, and fear he will try and kidnap my son from school, cut a few days ago as I was so wound up. He says he's going to take me to court, if he got custody I would give in to the suicidal thoughts and just jump, I'd have nothing to live for then. Argh it's so fucked up someone (probably him) keeps calling but saying nothing all from a withheld number started about 40 minutes ago that's all I need will never sleep. I hate him wish he would just F.O.A.D
 
Thanks CH. Just dozed off in last hour after 2 nights awake and had the most scary sick horrible nightmare I could ever have still shaking and crying it felt so real and now I'm hallucinating one of my many regular vocal halluc. And it's screaming at me that the dream will really happen and that it's all my fault I caused it and I will have to relive it every day of my life and calling me names and saying I'd be doing the world a favour by jumping out of this 8th storey hotel room. I'm meant to be having a nice break and my mental health stuff won't leave me alone just for a few days. I hate the shell I have become since my accident
 
37 year ago today i was born and for what fucking reason no cards no phone calls presents no fuck all this is to much now
 
Happy birthday from Australia Foolsgold <3

Keep your chin up dude, I'm sure you've got a few buddies in EADD that are happy for ya. :)
 
happy birthday foolsgold :D

hope you have a good day.
 
I am down and out but I REFUSE to give up. Harnessing my strength to force a frown into a smile because I am a motherfucking SURVIVOR. Staying positive all the way. Fuck this loser "I give up" mentality I am fucking DETERMINED to win.
 
severely etarded said:
I am down and out but I REFUSE to give up. Harnessing my strength to force a frown into a smile because I am a motherfucking SURVIVOR. Staying positive all the way. Fuck this loser "I give up" mentality I am fucking DETERMINED to win.
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HELL yeah bro. That's the shit I like to hear.
 
severely etarded said:
I am down and out but I REFUSE to give up. Harnessing my strength to force a frown into a smile because I am a motherfucking SURVIVOR. Staying positive all the way. Fuck this loser "I give up" mentality I am fucking DETERMINED to win.
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That's inspiring man, thanks for sharing. :)
 
severely etarded said:
I am down and out but I REFUSE to give up. Harnessing my strength to force a frown into a smile because I am a motherfucking SURVIVOR. Staying positive all the way. Fuck this loser "I give up" mentality I am fucking DETERMINED to win.
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good on you mate :) wish i could feel the same

i am fine for a few minutes when i wake but then it kicks in and all i want is out of this life
 
went to do it earlier was raining and i was just finish what was to be my last smoke couldn't find charlie before this then just then he pops up on the wall next to me wont seem to leave my side at the moment like he seems to know i am not right
 
^^

I believe animals can sense certain things. When I had my cats, whenever I was so depressed I didn't want to move from bed, they'd stay by me and keep me company. There's something about having a furry companion that makes the world seem okay, even if only for a moment.

Hope you're doing well today. I'm struggling to keep my head above water. Life is so fucking cruel.
 
severely etarded said:
I am down and out but I REFUSE to give up. Harnessing my strength to force a frown into a smile because I am a motherfucking SURVIVOR. Staying positive all the way. Fuck this loser "I give up" mentality I am fucking DETERMINED to win.
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Don't give up. Really what choice is there? Take a fucking dirt nap? No thanks but being dead sounds kinda boring and the finality of it is a tad too much :\ . It took me awile to realize that everything can be overcome except death that is. That's a one way ticket your not coming back out of. You'll get through it man trust me

Oddly enough I'm not nearly as bad off as i was the other week. I mean shit things haven't gotten any better and compared to a month ago they've gotten worse. Maybe it's as simple as having something to fight besides myself?

Oh and i know it's abit late but Happy Birthday FoolsGold! Your named after a Stone Roses song so ya have to be alright :)
 
There is hope my brothers and sisters. Keep in mind that your surroundings and circumstances are the cause of your distress and not entire some messed up irreversible damage. I've seen the darkest pits of acute anxiety/depression and I always feel like there is no way out but there is. We let our delusions stay a step ahead of us.

Not telling people to take drugs but .5 Xanax really helped me tough it out. I will never take paxil which my docs try to push on me.

We let ourselves drown in a glass of water when our issues are actually fixable only if we tell ourselves enough is enough. You tackle your issues with every single ounce of power you can grab from your being and keep your head up. Get out, ask loved ones for help. Don't hesitate to ask. Chances are they're waiting on you to ask.

I know it sounds cliche and I know I cannot speak for everyone suffering with a mental condition but there is ligh at the end of the tunnel.

I have had acute depression and anxiety around 5 or 6 times. I'm 27. I always felt like there was no way out but there always was.
 
The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that chances of me dying by my own hand are much higher than any other way.. The where what when why and how are simply all I can speculate with myself.

I've tried to be the best I can be but everything just turns to shit for me.
All the simple little things in life that make me happy I get ridiculed for...

If the person you are supposed to rely on the most just tells you to kill yourself then what's the point of not...
 
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