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The Suicide Support Thread

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Captain.Heroin said:
Dude se quit your job and continue to live. It sounds like the job is killing you slowly. Please live man - PM me if you want to.
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IDK what to say I just feel like I'm crumbling from stress. College, work, worrying about the future, just general anxiety I already wasted $$ to get treated by SSRI's that don't work. No $$, no health insurance. idk...

I'm looking for another job but IDK... I hope you're doing better. You can always PM me also <3
 
I'm so pissed with myself I almost had an OD the other night (Sunday). So my BF chilled by my side the whole night until I felt okay enough to sleep, he knows about how I have suicidal thoughts, so he had the nerve to ask me if it was intentional. I told him no because it wasn't but still it made me feel worse (mentally worse) even though it wasn't a suicide attempt. November 28th cannot come sooner (Suboxone appointment) until then ill keep using pills (narcotics), so I can avoid being sick.
 
gr33n3y3z said:
I'm so pissed with myself I almost had an OD the other night (Sunday). So my BF chilled by my side the whole night until I felt okay enough to sleep, he knows about how I have suicidal thoughts, so he had the nerve to ask me if it was intentional. I told him no because it wasn't but still it made me feel worse (mentally worse) even though it wasn't a suicide attempt. November 28th cannot come sooner (Suboxone appointment) until then ill keep using pills (narcotics), so I can avoid being sick.
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Wow that sounds pretty bad. I used to take 12-16 hydrocodone at one point I stopped cold turkey and got the shits and foot pain, but it was manageable. I can't imagine what a lot of oxy would cost, or what kind of withdrawal people who take a lot have take a lot of oxy get. I find much less physically addictive products better for escaping. Good luck, hope the next month passes fast for you <3
 
is it really a bad thing to wish that one time you do a shot of dope thats too big for your current tolerance so you die but on accident
 
^^ I never wished for it, but there was a long period of time when I would make up fat shots of heroin without testing the quality first, just not caring. I was using 1-2 grams a day of pretty potent stuff, so a minor variance in quality could have killed me. No idea why I'm still here and so many before me have been less fortunate.

To answer your question, no, I wouldn't say that's ok. :/


@gr33 PLEASE be safe and don't push it before your appointment! <3 I would hate to hear something happened to you before you had the chance to switch to subs. You've been so excited for the chance to get clean! Please don't blow it now. You're so fortunate to have a guy who loves you and cares for you like this. Please don't take it too personally that he asked that question. Honestly if you were my ex and ODed I woulda asked the same thing, she was suicidal too. It would have been asked out of nothing but love and concern however, as I'm sure were his motives.

Again, please stay safe! You and everyone else here. <3
 
i guess dealing with wds from so many different drugs over the past ten years have made my life such hell that it's not worth it to live anymore
 
^^ Withdrawals aren't permanent! There's only one way to avoid them. Unfortunately that requires going through them, but you can make it your last time! When finally getting clean, don't EVER let yourself forget how hellish it was. One thing I did was write myself a letter in my journal while withdrawing, so that I could read it if I ever forgot how hellish it was if I wanted to use in the future.
 
Sometimes, I envision going to the ATM, overdrawing a few hundred $, buying a bundle of dope, and an 8th of weed, checking into some cheap motel, and spending the day watching my favorite movies and shows on my laptop while taking bong rips and shooting dope. Then, when the day is over, I shoot an overdose, and slip away quietly, my endorphins happily kicking into overdrive.
It's only my lack of belief in an afterlife that stops me from committing to that final, irreversible act. But being the fuck-up that I am, I often wish I had the guts to do so anyway.
 
The girl i love with all my heart just told me that she things our whole relationship was fake, that we were imagining things and never really felt true love.

She's bipolar, so im hoping and praying that this is just a low for her. I really am because i don't give a fuck what she says, i know what i felt. I know we felt true love, we weren't hallucinating. We had a strong physical connection that we both felt. When we were first hooking up our stomachs touched for the first time while kissing and we both felt a euphoric, almost electric shock through our bodies. It was insane. and we both felt it. We were both strartled at first, and both wonderstuck with how much of a connection we had. And now she thinks it wasn't real. I'm truly fucking heart broken. I don't now what im going to do if this isn't just a mental low for her or something. I really hope she realizes she was just future tripping and freaked out.

:(
 
caseface99 said:
The girl i love with all my heart just told me that she things our whole relationship was fake, that we were imagining things and never really felt true love.

She's bipolar, so im hoping and praying that this is just a low for her. I really am because i don't give a fuck what she says, i know what i felt. I know we felt true love, we weren't hallucinating. We had a strong physical connection that we both felt. When we were first hooking up our stomachs touched for the first time while kissing and we both felt a euphoric, almost electric shock through our bodies. It was insane. and we both felt it. We were both strartled at first, and both wonderstuck with how much of a connection we had. And now she thinks it wasn't real. I'm truly fucking heart broken. I don't now what im going to do if this isn't just a mental low for her or something. I really hope she realizes she was just future tripping and freaked out.

:(
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Oh no case :( hugs hun <3 I hope it all works out for both of you
 
Thanks. I don't even remember posting that last night, I'm horribly sleep deprived and I was pretty out of sorts mentally last night. Didn't mean to post about this in multiple different threads.

Regardless, thanks.
 
Thank's captian, I know your right. She didn't really mean any of that. Last night i told her if she wants to talk to me she wasn't allowed to hide behind the text of a computer screen anymore so we spoke on skype and then the phone for a while and I totally called her out on her bullshit. Basically I was right, It was a major emotional low for her and she was afraid if she was honest with me then I would walk away from her.
 
i'm conflicted between what i want to do with my life and the obligations i feel i have towards the people who took care of me who now are in a position to be taken care of themselves
 
if you know tricomb please pm him he really needs some support i sadly didn't find this out till just now but he's in a bad place
 
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