The Suicide Support Thread

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Seems like a viable option at the moment.

 

[angeleyes]

Owen just remember that there are people who love you and no problem is too great than can't be worked out.

Hope all the beautiful people here have a good night sending love from down under.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

I know there are people who love me, if there weren't I would be gone already.

Just don't seem to be able to get any sort of lasting happiness in my life.

 

[Doomed2pain]

I know how you feel

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

At least you have a reason to be unhappy.

xxx

 

[mrflowers00]

i know that my life could be worse but i can't actually imagine things being any worse than they are

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I love you guys. I'm here if anyone needs to talk.

 

[Allein]

Seems like a viable option at the moment.

That short line strikes a chord with me, I think most people think that suicide is something you consider when in total turmoil and it's an irrational thought.

In my darkest days it feels like a straight forward logical option as all other options seem unavailable, I haven't ever really viewed it as a way to escape or find relief from the dark place I'm in.

Suicide is never the answer, life is a mysterious gift, the only thing we are given and we are all so massively significant but for some coping with our gift of self awareness can be a difficult and painful process.

Hang on for another day, death can wait and we will all get there in the end.

 

[Doomed2pain]

Going to be totally alone tomorrow. Least I have enough alcohol to put an elephant down

 

[Allein]

Going to be totally alone tomorrow. Least I have enough alcohol to put an elephant down

I haven't had a drink for more than 2 years and find the constant offering of drink by relatives a bit wearing as they get offended when you refuse.

Sorry you are on your own maybe think about doing some voluntary work next year, not sure where your located but here in the UK a few organisations help to look after the homeless and elderly, what a great way to combat your loneliness.

Try and see the positives, you can kick back watch TV, listen to music and maybe go for a walk, try not to drink to much, I'm sure you know it's a depressant and can make you feel much worse .

all the best

 

[Doomed2pain]

I can't walk I'm in a wheel chair and I cannot self propel as my arms are messed up too, I'm bed bound at the minute. My son is going to his dads (has done every year even when I've asked if I can have him but then he manipulates and emotionally blackmails me so that he can have him)
My mum is going to my sisters, who is a complete bitch
My best friend has turned her back on me after I bought all of her daughters Xmas presents coz she had no money then a week after she turned nasty on me

So it's just me and my friends stella and jack, going to drink til I sleep best plan of action coz if I'm asleep I won't do anything to harm myself hopefully

 

[Allein]

Sorry mate I wasn't aware, I had a bad bike accident about 18 months ago and spent some time in a chair and still struggle to walk any distance but none of that compares to your situation.

Shame about you friend, people have a habit of not meeting our expectations, I guess they don't realise how important some things are to others, I struggle to make friends and even more so to open up to them.

I can only speak for myself but I have always felt isolated and alone, it seems to be the trade off for being a separate entity with our own view of the world but that isn't much consolation really.

Hurting yourself doesn't seem like it's really going to help your situation, it never makes me feel better, quite the opposite and I'm sure there are people who care for you and would not want you to do that. You are a valuable person, it may not seem like that now but who knows what effect you may have on the world or on just one other, keep fighting to find a better way it sounds like you have great strength

 

[Doomed2pain]

I've been fighting for nearly 5 years I'm all out of strength can't take the physical or emotional excruciating agony, I don't think I will last the year. I should be in hospital but there is a major bed crisis on all the psych wards in the uk, I was in the priory for 9 weeks for my mental health and that was 70 miles away from home

 

[Allein]

Ahh you are in the UK, I live just north of London.

The NHS is in a bad way, I'm due 2 operation on my leg but don't have a date for the first and its been more than a month.

I was in a residential mental health unit about 3 years ago, but went in via A&E so they managed to find me a place, not had to go back in since but have very persistent depression that seems resistant to treatment, I've pretty much given up on doctors providing a solution.

I'm not going to make suggestions on what you should do as that would be patronising, I know nothing of your life but suicide can only be seen as a waste and living day to day with the thought of it close by casts a dark shadow over you.

Hang on in there, things could turn around and be so much better, there must be things you could do to improve things, maybe spend some of the time you spend considering suicide considering what you would do if you didn't do it.

PM me anytime and I'll share more badly constructed ramblings:D

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I can't walk I'm in a wheel chair and I cannot self propel as my arms are messed up too, I'm bed bound at the minute. My son is going to his dads (has done every year even when I've asked if I can have him but then he manipulates and emotionally blackmails me so that he can have him)
My mum is going to my sisters, who is a complete bitch
My best friend has turned her back on me after I bought all of her daughters Xmas presents coz she had no money then a week after she turned nasty on me

So it's just me and my friends stella and jack, going to drink til I sleep best plan of action coz if I'm asleep I won't do anything to harm myself hopefully

I am alone on Xmas day. There's someone special in my life but I won't get to see my family.

The only Xmas present I could get for myself was 2 weeks clean.

It came with the price tag being more PTSD flashbacks and more pain and suffering.

I am ok with what I am going through because I know I am not going to live forever.

I am alive and thankful for that alone. Even as I break down in tears and have flashbacks that leave me in pieces.

I miss my dead friends (soul or body; neither is easy to cope with).

I miss my family. I miss how I felt on Suboxone. I miss knowing things were going to be ok. I miss my ability to keep it together.

I'm here if you want to talk

I don't expect anyone to understand what I am going trough. I just appreciate the opportunity to share.

 

[Rebel Maven]

Captain.Heroin: I wished with all my heart that we could just...leave this world behind. Rise like two angels in the night and magically...disappear.

You have no idea how that touched me when I read it.

Thank You

 

[Captain.Heroin]

You have no idea how that touched me when I read it.

Thank You

You're welcome

I was very touched by this as well.

 

[ad lib]

I am alone on Xmas day. There's someone special in my life but I won't get to see my family.

The only Xmas present I could get for myself was 2 weeks clean.

It came with the price tag being more PTSD flashbacks and more pain and suffering.

I am ok with what I am going through because I know I am not going to live forever.

I am alive and thankful for that alone. Even as I break down in tears and have flashbacks that leave me in pieces.

I miss my dead friends (soul or body; neither is easy to cope with).

I miss my family. I miss how I felt on Suboxone. I miss knowing things were going to be ok. I miss my ability to keep it together.

Oh captain

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Still feeling really shitty. WD'ing a bit, not able to be the man I want to be for my family, feeling rejected, angry at myself for continuing to fuck up and go round in circles, worried about how to shake off a habit at the same time as revising for and completing my exams.....

However, there is someone in this thread who has made me feel a lot better over the last 24 hours just by chatting and sharing experiences/feelings. Thank you so much and I hope I have been of some use to you too.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Yup, almost certain I have a benzo habit again. Shouldn't be feeling rough five days stopping after week bender on the smack and diazepam and alcohol are clearing most of the ill feeling.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK