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The Suicide Support Thread

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m6612 said:
I'm so happy for you that you've gotten in that mindset keep it up!!! however i cannot seem to stay happy for more than 10 seconds becausemy girlfriend who was also my best friend and the only person i really trusted dumped me last week calling me retarded and a pysco and doesnt want to talk to me or be seen with me again. the pain of having the one who i loved most in this world say those things to me and losing her forever is too much for me to handle
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Well I'm really sorry that a girl treated you that way man. She sounds pretty immature for not being more specific and for being childish in her word choices.

I think you can honestly find someone better for you man.

I know it hurts but don't let this effect you. You're better than she is for taking the high road.

If you want to talk to me more about it, feel free to PM me. :)
 
i burned though several xanax bars in two days but i'm still alive i guess i shouldn't end my life
 
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mrflowers00 said:
i burned though several xanax bars in two days but i'm still alive i guess i shouldn't end my life
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Did you really feel like you needed that much to get anxiety relief?

The only reason I ask is because that's a lot more than I have ever taken. And I have taken a lot in one sitting to abort a bad trip before, but nothing close to that level.

Glad to hear you're still alive man.
 
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m6612 said:
I'm so happy for you that you've gotten in that mindset keep it up!!! however i cannot seem to stay happy for more than 10 seconds becausemy girlfriend who was also my best friend and the only person i really trusted dumped me last week calling me retarded and a pysco and doesnt want to talk to me or be seen with me again. the pain of having the one who i loved most in this world say those things to me and losing her forever is too much for me to handle
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Ahh don't feel too bad man. I take opiates to deal with the same problem. Except she was my partner/roommate for nearly 5 years. I got nobody else really. All my other friends joined the army or had kids

All I'm saying is if I can make it 6 months, and jobless on top of that, you can make it. I know it sucks though :(
 
the thing is i didn't even black out it just wasn't working i'm gonna try to take an extended break from my meds to lower my tolerance
 
mrflowers00 said:
the thing is i didn't even black out it just wasn't working i'm gonna try to take an extended break from my meds to lower my tolerance
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Yeah man, I wouldn't even use benzodiazepines at all if I were you. The reason being is that a month's prescription shouldn't be gone in two days.

I'm not judging you at all, all <3 here. I just think that if I was in your shoes, I'd focus on therapy and possibly just using an anti-histamine for anxiety relief.

severely etarded said:
I got nobody else really.
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You can always find some new friends man. :) You're a likeable guy. Don't forget that.
 
i think i should take the xanax only when the anxiety is really bad but not to just get high
 
Shit, I'm not handling these withdrawals well. It's only day 1 and I'm already completely breaking down. I can usually handle the sickness but the thought of having to sit my exams in this condition is terrifying me. This is the last thing I needed right now. I'm having one of the most overwhelming months of my life by far and I just added to that by being a fucking idiot junkie. I can't believe I got myself into this situation. Am just feeling more suicidal than ever right now. I already wanted to die without the added pain and sickness. Shit.
 
Pagey said:
Shit, I'm not handling these withdrawals well. It's only day 1 and I'm already completely breaking down. I can usually handle the sickness but the thought of having to sit my exams in this condition is terrifying me. This is the last thing I needed right now. I'm having one of the most overwhelming months of my life by far and I just added to that by being a fucking idiot junkie. I can't believe I got myself into this situation. Am just feeling more suicidal than ever right now. I already wanted to die without the added pain and sickness. Shit.
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I'm going to PM you pagey <3

mrflowers00 said:
i think i should take the xanax only when the anxiety is really bad but not to just get high
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Can you have your parents pick up your medications and hand them out to you as needed? I really, really suggest that.
 
66 hours clean from all drugs except nicotine and caffeine. It feels good being able to shit right haha. The first 48 were terrible. I was taking about 12-16 norcos every day for about a week until I realized how low I got and decided to save the rest until I get closer to my refill. At least I had ibuprofen to deal with the chronic aches. Fuck withdrawals suck.

Still no luck on the job hunt, but the support I've gotten from the people here has inspired me to keep moving forward, despite my constant suicidal thoughts I have to fight off. The only thing that really keeps me going is the fact people here actually care about me. Thank you all for the support. Without it, I KNOW I'd be dead by now. My suicidal thoughts continue to be as bad or worse than ever but I don't want the people here who care to miss me.

I know eventually something will come through. It just has to. I just got to keep trying. It's fucked though, because the only people that really care about me are all people I've met/interacted through this site. <3 Thank you all..
 
severely etarded said:
66 hours clean from all drugs except nicotine and caffeine. It feels good being able to shit right haha. The first 48 were terrible. I was taking about 12-16 norcos every day for about a week until I realized how low I got and decided to save the rest until I get closer to my refill. At least I had ibuprofen to deal with the chronic aches. Fuck withdrawals suck.

Still no luck on the job hunt, but the support I've gotten from the people here has inspired me to keep moving forward, despite my constant suicidal thoughts I have to fight off. The only thing that really keeps me going is the fact people here actually care about me. Thank you all for the support. Without it, I KNOW I'd be dead by now. My suicidal thoughts continue to be as bad or worse than ever but I don't want the people here who care to miss me.

I know eventually something will come through. It just has to. I just got to keep trying. It's fucked though, because the only people that really care about me are all people I've met/interacted through this site. <3 Thank you all..
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Dude you're doing great. Congrats on getting off of the norcos. <3

You can always PM me.
 
Captain H, I am a bit of a lurker, occasional poster but I just want to say that you are a good cunt. Same as pagey. Both of you always seem to have good advice and the time and energy to respond to people who are in despair...even though we all have our problems. Thanks on behalf of all those faceless people who need support.
 
Oh wow thanks mate. That really means a lot.

And I second that for CH...it's incredible the work you do in this thread. Lots of respect for you <3
 
bunnymunro said:
Captain H, I am a bit of a lurker, occasional poster but I just want to say that you are a good cunt. Same as pagey. Both of you always seem to have good advice and the time and energy to respond to people who are in despair...even though we all have our problems. Thanks on behalf of all those faceless people who need support.
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Pagey said:
Oh wow thanks mate. That really means a lot.

And I second that for CH...it's incredible the work you do in this thread. Lots of respect for you <3
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Thanks bunnymunro and Pagey <3

If I can get myself through 9 years of this, then I want to spend my time helping others through this too. I'd like to think that I've saved at least someone's life over the years, although I know for sure I have saved my own.
 
^ you motherfuckers, not just you and pagey, but everyone who's been supportive of me on this forum are why I'm alive.

&& I'm being sarcastic obviously none of you are really motherfuckers... extremely caring individuals tbh.

@ C.H I'll PM you again sometime. You and many others have greatly inspired me. I know last PM I got finished and your box was full, but it's okay because you touch a lot of people on here. (just realized that sounded kinda weird lol, I mean in a good way touch their soul, not their genitals or anything haha)

I'm fucking drunk. I got a lagunitas since I stole some cash from my dad while he was wasted after he literally told me to go blow my brains out. I know he doesn't mean it, but still depressing.

Yep yup, so as I look down the barrel of this Ruger SP101 357 magnum I think of all the shit you guys went through and how you still give a shit about my existence. I have 340 mg hydrocodone (norco 10's) left and have been clean 5 days. didn't even smoke a cig today. About 250 mg valium. I'm pretty sure I could end my life IF I wanted to but I'm motivated to keep going... by you all. Thanks! <3

Had a job interview yesterday and another tomorrow, wish me luck!!
 
I relapsed. This time harder than before. I've had two near death experiences with prescription pills and I still can't quit. I don't want to live like this.
 
^ maybe it sounds easier than it is but im going on 5 days clean from opiates I still got 34 Norco left but I was popping 12-16 a day, with dxm tusssin usually. If I can you can too! Good luck and PM me if you need help with w/d's
 
ChemicalRomantic said:
I relapsed. This time harder than before. I've had two near death experiences with prescription pills and I still can't quit. I don't want to live like this.
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I'm sorry to hear you relapsed. Do you know why you relapsed? Did something trigger you?
 
Damn I am not doing so well. Hanging on though I suppose. By that thread. IDK what to do, I'm so anxious about the future, and if it's worth hanging on. I have some plans tomorrow...Such a tough decision. Trying to work out how I'm going to avoid this social event I don't want to go to but my dad is insisting. And the way I have in mind to avoid it is not good. I need to find a better way for sure. damn

I need to figure this out. massive hydrocodone overdose is not the right way I believe. Been clean 9 days and counting. IDK what to do right now...
 
Gonna get a few things done tomorrow, some final loose ends I need to tie up, then I'll be set to go. I'm pretty much fucked no matter what I do so I just need to take care of a few things before I go. Mail a few things off and I'll be set to go.

<3 You guys for caring!

I'm just getting to the point I wanna throw in the towel, ya know? I'm trying but it never just gets on track... :(

Maybe I should just go to the stupid thing? Social thing? IDK... :?

s e
 
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