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The Suicide support thread

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I'm having to deal with someone who is threatening suicide, however I'm having a hard time taking her seriously because I spied on her at the cinema laughing and joking around like she didn't have a care in the world (we both happened to be watching the same film down the road and she didn't realize I was there). I don't know whether to show her sympathy like she obviously wants or to just not indulge her. I feel sorry for her but don't want to encourage her maladaptive behavior. Mind you, on the other hand if she is serious then I would feel pretty bad for dismissing her threats.

I suppose she could have other issues other than depression (like some personality disorder). I don't know, I just worry she's being manipulative because she's acts quite low in mood when she's around me but changes in demanor completely when I'm not around. What should I do?
 
Speaking as professional responder: Do not take her threats without concern. I know may she act like she happy sometimes, but not other times, but this common in a few different scenarios. One example (close enough to my heart to make me cry) is rapid cycling bipolar. When they are manic, they will see happy and giddy and all; when they are depressive, the dark and dour moods will come.

It could be she is hiding her feelings from others as not to alert them as well.

In any case, keep an eye on this person, be there for her to talk to if she needs to, and if you feel she is in imminent danger of suicide, ring up the police/ambo and see that she is taken for help.
 
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Hi Artificial Emotion,

That is a very difficult situation. I have to agree with rangrz - it is important to take any threats of suicide seriously. It may be that your friend is good at putting on an act when she is out, or that her moods fluctuate as rangrz said. I would have a serious talk with her - explain how worried you are and try to get her to open up, let her know you want to help..

It is also important not to exhaust yourself however - set boundaries. If she rings you suicidal, call an ambulance. If she constantly rings you, explain you want to help her and the way to do that is for her to seek professional help with your support. You could make it clear you want to help, and what this help can entail, but that you can't handle constant threats of suicide but no attempts to follow your advice - you can only do as much as you can handle, don't forget that.

Sometimes people just need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to, and it's really good to be there for them, obviously - and a suicidal friend needs a lot of support, and any direct threats taken seriously - but look after yourself too <3
 
mrflowers00


i know for sure when i'm going to kill myself it's the day my dad dies
Click to expand...

Is it because you dont want to hurt your dad by having him know you killed yourself?
 
Yes they are in my experience, I agree - however it is important to take threats seriously; it's incorrect to think that people who make threats don't carry it out (I think you mentioned that elsewhere in the thread rangrz :) ) and always a good idea to speak to the person making threats or encourage them to get help..

Threats can also be a cry for help, and although empty threats can seem frustrating, sometimes the person just doesn't know how else to get the help they need..
 
Oh of course. All suicidal threats are to be treated as medical/psychiatric emergencies. (..."By the book" anyways, as far as Drs/cops/EMTs are trained)

In any event, you really should talk to the person, stay with them physically if possible. (Cant do that on the net, but like if your best friend is talking about doing it, hang with him) and encourage them to seek help.

But as far as it goes by the numbers, most threats are empty(as are most bomb threats for example...threats period are often empty, but should always be taken seriously), and most attempts fail. (With females making many more attempts, but males having a higher suicide rate due to choice of technique, either case, male, female, black, white, green, its sad and if you suspect someone is going to attempt. ACT!)
 
i hope this is an isolated case, but the only time i've known someone to make empty suicide threats (actually the only time i've known someone to make any such threats) was to manipulate me. i was already in a very vulnerable state and they got all my time, money, and emotional reserves for nearly a year because of these threats. i could not consolidate any other friendships in this time, i had no energy, and my relationship with my boyfriend broke down partly because i didn't have any emotional reserve left to work at our relationship. it took me a long time to 'pick up the pieces' after this person was out of my life.

so, i'm going to disagree with rangrz advice, this person was my BEST FRIEND, and say in the case of any such threats, phone someone qualified to cope, especially if you yourself are vulnerable. sure, stick with them while you're waiting for an ambulance, but do not take this on alone for any longer than you have to. if the threats are real, this is the best course, and if they're not real, it should make the person think twice before making them again.
 
Artificial Emotion said:
Are false threats to commit suicide more common that genuine ones?
Click to expand...

seems like with more threats in general though, there will be more completed.

in my understanding, and as ranrz eluded to -
woman are more likely to attempt suicide,
attempt does not mean a false try.

men attempt suicide less, but succeed more often then not.


men will resort to a violent abrupt aggressive means, women to a more subtle slow pacified route. these traits are in our nature. teenagers, well, they make more mistakes then anyone.
:\
 
herbavore said:
for those of us born with a thin skin to the pain we see all around us as well as what we have internalized, it is a monumental feat not to get overwhelmed. I think it is a great strategy on your part to keep posting here. Connecting with other human beings about these kind of feelings irl is usually so scary to the people we are confiding in that we self-censor because of unconsciously wanting to protect them. Bl offers a place to lay it all out on the line, as many times and in as many ways as you need! And the bonus is you are usually talking to people who have felt or are feeling just like you so there is less explaining to do.
Click to expand...

qft!
 
One of my closest friends has been having suicidal thoughts for months now - it's an ongoing thing that reemerges every couple of weeks. It's really hard to see him like that. When he gets that way I do what I can to help him and make things better, and I have some degree of success because:

1. I've been in the same situations that are making him depressed (I know everyone's situation and reasons are unique, this is no exception, but my situation was nearly identical to his current one)
and
2. I've dealt with severe depression myself for years now (it used to be so bad that I was suicidal but I have learned how to deal with it much better than I used to).

but my efforts haven't been helping very much. I've been more successful at getting through to him than any of his other friends that have tried. I'd like to actually be able to help him though... I just feel like I'm not doing enough or not doing things as well as I could. I promise I am asking for my friend's benefit - the suicidal friend isn't me. Is there anything I can do to help him? I know after being there myself and getting through it I should be better equipped to help him than people he or I have never met on the internet, but I'm at a loss. Is there any advice on things I can do to help him? I care about this guy a lot and I want to see him feel better.
 
I'm sure that being the very kind and empathetic friend that you are helps in ways you don't fully see. When you say that his depression is caused by situations that you have experience with, do you mean drug abuse or a difficult family situation or poverty? What I'm getting at is that maybe there are practical things that you could do like initiate meetings with social services, or attend meetings or meditation with your friend--something that could affect the real-life situation.Other than that, you are fairly helpless to affect another person's depression. The isolation that comes with depression can be terrible and it sounds like you are doing everything in your power to be there for this person and you are doing that from your love for him.

You are doing everything you can for your friend.What you also need to do is to make sure that if your friend does try to end his life that you do not take that on as failure on your part. Best of luck to both of you--he is already very lucky to have a friend like you.<3
 
Well I took a bucket load of 15/500mg codeine/paracetamol CWEd about an hour ago, along with just a few diazepam which I'm prescribed at a time and some seroquel which I'm prescribed, and some promethazine, and drinking a few strong scotch and cola's (sorry don't fully remember rules in this thread so please snip if I'm triggeriiing). I know this sounds a lot, but nothing is ever too much for me, never has been enough of what I wanted for the outcome 8( I did this 3 nights ago (ony with probably twice as much codeine, and just woke up feeling mildly drug-fkd half the next day.

To be honest, earlier I just didn't want to wake up tomorrow, and well still don't care if I was tooooj not. The thing is, I am too scared to really do something else to kill myself, I know I couldn't do it, but yeah anyway, it's ironic that tonight i'm feeling a little better now (wonder why), but 3 nights ago noticed I was taking about 2-3 breaths per minute, so thought that could have been it but anyway. Pfft I dunno, prolly just another waste of space post haha

**added, forgot

Last night and the night before (not tonight atm) I pretty much spent half the night fighting against tears. I just dunnooo why and feel like a loser crying, but yeah my current windows live comment "Everyone cares too much, but unfortunately never bbe abble to understand". Thats kinda how I feel with everyone around me
 
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I am glad you are still here. you would be surprised how many people understand-like me. I tried to kill myself-serious attempts-6 times,all w/o warning and all ending up w/ me in the ER and psych evaluations. I am 35,now. I survived a near fatal car accident a few years ago and in light of a 2nd chance at life-along with the birth of my 2 nieces over the past 4 years I have VOWED to family and friend to NEVER try and take my own life again...AND I MEAN IT!
it sounds cliche,but "this too shall pass..." I promise.. Everything does bc the only thing that stays the same is change. After I say what my attempts were doing to my family and friends-those who would be left behind...that is when I made my pact to live. I could tell you horror stories but this is about you,fivelinefury!!!

"Do NOT go gentle into that good night....Rage,RAGE,against the dying of the light" ~Dylan Thomas

Stick around...keep posting. Let the love here support you. Dying is easy,my friend,it's living that is hard. that's my quote-believe it!!!

YOU ARE LOVED!!!

much peace and love.....................skillz <3
 
well steer clear of that kind of thing...life is possibilities. you are a smart guy-I can tell by your posts. you keep your chin up and PM me anytime!!!
keep posting!!! Keep close to this network of support. I believe in you,truly!
MUCH peace and love................................skillz <3
 
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