I've thought of suicide in my life....many times.
I felt like it was the only way out of a bad situation.....but I've found, if life is not what you want it to be, YOU have the power to change it.
When people think about ending their lives, I'm not sure we actually grasp the
permanence of the situation.
At those times we think-
escape.
But there is no going back. There is no do-over.
It's final.
SE- Reading your post, the day you posted it, I wanted to respond but couldn't.
I hope you're doing better
I've been in and out of this thread countless times in recent weeks, debating on what to say, how to say it, and on whether or not I could handle it.
My father committed suicide almost 2 months ago.
It breaks my heart that he, or anyone, (including myself at times), feels there is no hope.
There is ALWAYS hope....there is always a way to change your life.
You just have to be willing to put in the effort to change it. (And IT IS worth it)
When you choose to end your life, you leave family and friends to
live with your pain.
I can tell you from the perspective of a family member who has suffered suicide loss.... it's the most painful, confusing thing i have ever had to deal with.
I never knew you could feel almost every emotion imaginable at one time.
I've been left with too many questions, too many lost moments, too many regrets, too much guilt, too much pain, and anger.
I can't imagine my father fully comprehended what he was leaving his family to face.
The people who love you are the ones who survive your suicide, and it's not only unfair to us/them- but it's a permanent scar on their emotional, spiritual, and mental well-being.
Here I am....almost 2 months later and I'm STILL processing- still suffering.
We (his family) have trouble concentrating, functioning as normal, going into public is a challenge, sometimes even just speaking is difficult.
We're coping with not only his death, but the fact that he
chose it.
It's a major mind fuck.
Ack, I wish I was writing this out better but .....I don't talk about it often and when I do I find I get pretty jumbled...so apologies for that!
I've often told people to think of their families and friends- even when you think people don't care about you, they do....it's just the mindset of the moment, or the time in your life.
Often you don't realize when you are depressed how many people care.
If ever you need to talk, please don't hesitate to reach out to me.
(That goes for not only SE but anyone
)
