One delusion I had when I was doing meth was that a few of my friends were FBI agents, one of them in particular was assigned to basically watch me, and push me into certain situations. They could listen to me through my phone, but when I turned it off it severed the link. At one point they basically gave me an assignment to go meet up with someone on a back road a couple towns away. The friend that was assigned to me told me to get a burner phone, so that only he could listen to me, because there was some kind of conflict with the other agents. I drove over the mountain about 30 minutes away, went to Walmart to buy a burner phone, and drove down the back road where I was supposed to go and parked my car. Some other guy actually stopped at a little spot on the road, and I actually started to approach him. For whatever reason I thought better of it and turned back around and drove home. At this point I was desperately trying to tell myself that it was all a delusion, but I had done so much to get to that point so I just didn't want to see the truth.
I also thought my neighbors had hacked my WiFi, and knew all of my illicit and semi licit internet activities. I heard them talking about it through the walls for days on end. At one point I even went to knock on my neighbors door at like 6 in the morning to confront him about it. Thank God he didn't answer.
The fbi agent delusion actually followed me to work the next day after I had started to sober up a bit. I was working at an Amazon data center at the time, where I had to leave my phone in a secure locker to go into the red zone with all of the servers. This time when I was in the red zone was the only time that no one was talking to me through my phone, so it felt really good. It was crazy to me that the voices actually stopped when I got away from my phone.
Meth has caused me so many complete delusions, it's difficult for me to think about because I'm just so ashamed of how crazy I got. The shit will literally drive the best of us completely insane. If you have an active imagination or are fairly intelligent, it is literally poison for your brain.
If you aren't taking meth anymore and you're still believing all of this shit, you should definitely consider taking some antipsychotic medication. That has been really the only thing that has helped me get over some of the paranoia I was infested with.
Meth is fucking dumb. My worst meth binges ended with a complete breakdown and total detachment from reality, in which the ONLY option I possibly had, was to end everything. And I tried. Woke up in the hospital, and jail, many times after suicide attempts, arrests, and other mental breakdowns.
Amphetamine is infinitely useful, but methamphetamine literally redlines your brain. It is dangerous, and you shouldn't be pushing for it to be viewed as anything other than a dangerous chemical.
