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The Sobriety Thread

I'm sober from weed at least right now...not by choice mind you but it makes finding a decent job a hell of alot easier and I need to be clean to go to a pain clinic at the end of the month. Kind of funny that I need to be weed free to be able to get opiates for my back, shoulder, hip and knee pain.
 
I was just starting to get sober, and then I found out I wasn't getting dropped for another month on probation, and I got my refill for clonazepam which I don't enjoy much alone but it does give me the go ahead to get as geeked as I want without being worried about a pesky comedown.
 
What Will I Do

My friend's roommate said yesterday, "No, I'm gonna stop smoking weed for this week." "Why?" I said. "I've just been smoking a lot lately and I felt like I wasnt getting high yesterday." He wound up smoking that night but that's not the point.

I've been doing opiates for a little more than 2 years now, almost every day for the last 9 months, and IV'ing H for the last 6. I'm managing fine so far. I have good grades and a good relationship with my family. But where can this road possibly lead?
I know I'm going to stop at some point, I have to, but what will it take??

Will it be the day I wake up next to the cold body of a friend?

Will it be when they wake up next to mine?

Could it be when my parents find out and are devastated because their son is junkie?

Or maybe it'll be the time I get pulled over and get searched...

One last note. I used to be a big punk-rocker back in the day. Very much a rebel, you can't tell me what to do, ya know. I've learned and matured a lot since then, but that mindset is still part of me, wouldn't change it for a thing. Anyway, my point was always that, You have one life, live it. Don't let people tell you who you are and don't worry about what others think about you. Be you.

So, I'm like, no one can tell me what to do!
Except for one...
Opiates
For some reason they have the ability to quiet your conscience and block your better judgement. This is my motivation. I will not let drugs drag me down. Although, that's sort of the problem right now, because I'm doing well right now. I guess I just have to be careful. My location is going to change a lot in the next 6 months, and that could be the start of good things.

I'll stop rambling. I just want to say big ups to anyone trying to stay off opiates. Good luck you guys, I wish only the best for you.
 
bebobby said:
I've been sober now for 3 years and I can say sobriety is an absolute trip. I've gotten many thinks back in my life that I had previously lost because of my drug use, and life is good. BUT...lately I've got that itch that just cannot be scratched if you know what I mean. I'm scared. Is there such a thing as chipping heroin?
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Ohh, I'd be careful buddy. Chipping could become serious quickly for someone who has dealt with addiction before, especially if that addiction was opiates. If you're happy with things now, be careful, you don't want to lose it again. Props for being sober though man!
 
enoughorangejuice? said:
i think if you really love a drug and can use it responsibly in safe dosages once every other month or something like that, on occasion, that is the best, moderation management. if you take it out of your life completely it controls you just as much as it did when using every day... however i dont know if everybody is capable of using drugs in moderation especially harder ones like heroin/morphine/cocaine/meth, etc. i'd like to think we all are capable of doing so, but i'm just not sure....
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I would like to think that I am one of those people. So far I have been only because I want to make it a point not to. About the most addicting drug I currently use is cocanie.....I have used crack/meth a few times and I decided I really just don't like it and will never do it again and when I did it never became a problem. Cocanie I love and prolly always will.......I make a point to not use it often and when I do I do it with the same people because I know they like me don't want to use it daily.....we do it.....and we do it all. There have been times where we almost just wanted to throw it away to make sure we didn't have any the next day but of course we love it to much for that so we'd finish it but I always figure if I don't have it the next day I'll be okay. I won't seak it out. In fact I try never to unless of course I can't stand it any longer. I've been thinking of heroin a lot lately and the reason I am most held back about it is that from what i've heared about it, I'm not sure I will have complete control and therefore don't know that I'm willing to risk it.
 
I'm am starting my own voluntary opiate detox at home starting tomorrow (Thursday). Currently I'm doing about 80-120mgs of Oxy (Insufflated) a day.

I've done it before, it is hard on the mind and body but because I have no mental/emotional "addiction" to my drug of choice its not hard for me to stay clean for as long as I want. The only real temptation to relapse before my planned use date is from my physical pain.

Anyway, I actually have a question. People have suggested journals to me so if its not OK ill just do it there. But I was just wondering if I could log my experience during detox here. Lemme know if thats cool or if I should just keep it in the journal area. Thanks!
 
I'm sober INVOLUNTARILY on one of these wonderful drug court programs in NJ.

I was on probation for years and it never put a dent in my habit, but that came to an end when I caught my 3rd and 4th charge and they locked me up for 8 months...

It was Drug Court or 5 years with a 24 month parole stip... I chose Drug Court.

I've been in treatment for the past 18 months, 6 months inpatient in a Therapeutic Community, 12 months outpatient 3x a week, and 3 NA meetings forced. Any deviation from the programs equal jail time. For instance, I had relapsed 2 months ago and had to do a week in jail for it.

Any appointments, appearances, or meetings missed are jailt ime on top of dirty urines....

Anyway, it's a fucked up situation to not truly wanting to get clean and having NA and recovery forced down your throat by the law. Yeah I was pretty far out there when I was running, but it got worse after i caught my first charge and bounced in and out of jail... So now I sit sober, haven't used heroin in 2 months or cocaine in 2 years... Part wishing I could get high again, part wishing the probation was over.... 40 months left...

i made my bed though so i gotta lay in it.
 
OK - smoked crack and drank vodka all weekend and God, I need a rest - - time to go sober. I need to stay away from all stuff for at least a week and maybe even too. Give the body some sober / recovery time.
 
GenericMind said:
It's been about three months since I've taken anything. I've gotten drunk twice, but I'm not going to count that.

Sobriety is tough. :\
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Good for you - - yeah, it may be tough but it's gotta be good for your body. Meanwhile - I just wanna try to go sober for a week or two .... yeah, one of these days it may be good to do a multi-month stretch of sobriety.
 
I relapsed. D:

But it felt so good. Thankfully it wasn't a lot and I have no intention of actively looking for more opiates (these just kind of came to me). I haven't really been staying "sober" from everything, but I'm a little bummed that I let myself use opiates again.
 
therightcoast said:
yeah, it seems like everyone posting in here doesnt want sobriety, they are just taking short breaks before relapsing again, and even planning on relapsing. I geuss i'm one of few who doesn't want to take drugs anymore
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why be torturing yourself by posting on bluelight a forum about drugs if you never plan on taking drugs again..:\
 
I quit pot entirely almost a year ago and it was probably the best thing Ive ever done for my life. Also quit drinking for the most part around new years last year (not this last new year). Still drink here and there and usually regret it when I do.

The only stuff Ill ever do again is probably psychadelics.
Sobriety= better for me.
 
^You know I felt sorta like that at first after quitting. It takes awhile. After maybe 3-4 months I felt really clear all the sudden. After 6 months to a year I felt the motivation for life I hadnt felt since before I smoked return..now I feel like I never smoked, except with lots of good memories from my drug days which made me a better person. :)
 
If one was dead serious about sobriety going to bluelight would be the last thing on your mind.
 
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