Stimulants The seductive pull of methamphetamine. Advice

[aeorowar]

I am a little bit scared.

I have tried almost every illicit substance from every group of drugs (Excluding heroin and a few other opiates-makes me sick),

but last week I had my first serious fling with methamphetamine.

I have always had a slight tendency to abuse any kind of stimulant, and have done before...But meth is different
I am literally surrounded by meth,

My biological father has struggled with Methamphetamine addiction his entire life, and that scares me because we are so alike (And I get told every single day). He is still struggling. He has been diagnosed with bipolar before, but I'm so sure that those shiny little diamond-like crystals basically makes anyone " bipolar " .

The people around me, and even other family members are struggling too. Where I am from it is readily available and a big problem.

I am smart kid, but I feel like Meth perfects me. It takes away every problem I have ever had for a short while... (Although I know in reality it does the complete opposite).

How can I stay away? Do I literally need to move to another location ? It is everywhere around me. I am willing to leave to get away from this drug; but I assume drugs are everywhere ?

I wrote a trip report here if you want to read my first (real) experience with the drug, which might give you some insight.

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?p=9062302#post9062302


I am sitting on my bed, and I have already used 2-3 times since that report last week. I feel hopeless and depressed;worse than any comedown I have experienced before. The last two weeks of my life have been textbook description of bipolar.

I also have another point of meth sitting next to me, but the thought of it disgusts me....but I can't bring myself to throw it away.

I want to go to university next year, and study. Start something productive with my life, rather than wasting away on drugs....I am young, only 19 and I have already seen and done too much with illicit substances. I don't want to waste away into nothing like those before me, and it is already starting...My vocabulary and writing skills have degraded so much since I have stopped studying.

I just want some advice on how to stay away, input, stories...or anything really.
Or perhaps I just wanted to vent that I am getting myself into something I shouldn't be.

Thankyou.
I hope you have a nice day.

 

[alphabetalactone]

Move away buddy, you'll end up like all the people surrounding you atm. You had your fun, now time to quit.

 

[Lopez]

limit your uses to certain dates (once a week, on a saturday, etc...)

 

[curlygurl1980]

hello i have been an addict for 10 years opiates mostly but i did have a 2 year affair with meth. it was the most horrible time of my life. i started off smokin it then eventually shooting it. only by the grace of god did i make it out of that part of my life alive. i have had to have 6 root canals done on my teeth and two back teeth pulled. i have nerve damage in my feet they stay freezing all the time bc meth fucks with your nervous system. i lost 2 whole years with my beautifull daughter (only would see her for a few hours every few months) u have your whole future ahead of u RUN DONT WALK away from it. u r already dabbling with it and if u keep on its going to grab u and not let go. that is awesome that u r going to b startinn school soon focuse on that google pics of people that have been on meth for a whille i have seen beautifull girls teethe fall out and they look old and its soo soo sad. i look back at pics of me and its disgusting thank god i got out of it with the help of god. plz dont throw your future away its not to late at all for u. i bleive u r going to stop i really do best of luck to you my dear

 

[sekio]

Unless you have a milligram scale and a burly guy with a safe to give you your doses, you shouldn't play with meth... Get a hobby and keep yourself busy and entertained, move away to somewhere with little/no meth if thats possible.

 

[caseface99]

Move to New Jersey, people have flamed me incessantly for saying "theres no meth on the east coast", so fine, ill say theres no meth in New Jersey. Could you find it if you knew the right person? Sure why not. But you wont have remotely easy access to it. Myself and a few other people tried to find it for years. The only things easy to find are weed, heroin, crack, and shitty e pills.

So yes, in short there are places you can move and not be surrounded by meth. New Jersey is a shit hole, but at least compared to the rest of the country meth is virtually non existent.

 

[Project Will]

Haha I think I'd rather be a meth addict than move to New Jersey.

All jokes aside, moving really is the best option you have here. Are you in the UK? I ask because most people in the states don't say "go to university."

If you are in the UK, try coming to school in the states. We have great schools and girls here fucking love dudes with british accents. Moving away for school is a great way to stay clean. Not only will you be leaving a road to addicting, but you will be paving a road to a brighter future! How cliche sounding.

 

[caseface99]

^^ Hence why i called it a shit hole lol, I've lived there the majority of my life and seriously couldn't wait for the day i moved. I only suggested it to get away from meth, but really as someone who has moved for no reason other than to get away from friends and drugs - it will be the best decision you have ever made. I can not tell you how easy it has been staying sober since getting away from people places and things.

 

[Never_Sober]

Well you already have a one up on most people, because you sound like you at least know the addiction potential of this drug and know the damage it can do in somebody's life, which is better than most of us who started dabbling with seriously addictive substances and said "I'm gonna be different, I'm not gonna get hooked", but honestly no matter where you go if you want something badly enough your gonna find it, you have to use self control and decide you don't want the same horrible life so many of us have so ignorantly started into! Good luck friend, and be safe!

 

[Depressicaa]

Why not get Adderall or Dexedrine through a doctor? It harm reduction after all, you can still stimulate yourself but with less dire consequences.

It is literally the same situation for me, except its amphetamines and my family is anti drug. I guess not so similar. But we are... somewhat. You will want a downer, so that you can stop redosing.

 

[caseface99]

^^ That would work... Until he has abused his scrip enough and either runs out early or decides he doesn't get enough euphoria anymore. Then the meth will come.

 

[Never_Sober]

Why not get Adderall or Dexedrine through a doctor? It harm reduction after all, you can still stimulate yourself but with less dire consequences.

I say this in the spirit of harm reduction and also because I love to play Devils Advocate, but how many of us said well I won't try the hard shit but ill stick with pharmaceuticals and eventually down the road gained such a tolerance we eventually moved on to said "hard drug"? I have very limited experience with methamphetamines, but I have a whole lot of experience with opiates and the statement above is exactly what I said, "ill take oxys or morphine" and eventually ended up doing heroin, so no matter what you start on if you have an addicting personality chances are you'll still end up on meth. Ill end this with the same thing I said above BE CAREFUL and BE SAFE!

 

[aeorowar]

I am not from the UK,
I am actually from Australia.
As far as I am aware the UK does not have a problem with methamphetamine ? (May be wrong)

Moving to another country has always been a dream; but in reality Australia is a great country with good living conditions. (But ridiculously high taxes).

I have already tried the pharmaceutical method, and have abused dexies (Gone through bottles of 100s). It really just puts me in the same situation; just slightly worse. They still make me manic and erratic, and force me to abuse other drugs to combat side effects etc.

The one less methyl group just means slightly less side effects, but in reality its the same drug. Amphetamine.

When I wrote the original post I was in a post meth depression haze, and it seems a little melodramatic now.

Thanks for the all the advice, it really does help to pull my head in.

Why is New Jersey the butt of many jokes ? Can someone explain in case I find myself there one day ? ; )

 

[DexysMidnightRuner]

why not use amphetamines? well, first of all because adderall and dexedrine only work for so long. your tolerance goes up so incredibly fast and it stops working quite quickly, and then you have to take like 200+ mgs just to feel normal daily..not even get high, just feel normal enough to "function", so thats like 2 days worth of a script. and then you would have to buy them from people and they can become costly. anywhere between 65 - 140$. secondly because if meth has already been used, adderall and dexedrine wouldnt compare. even if you went so far as to shoot them, it wouldnt compare. plus its so much fucking work to administer it that way that you would most likely just go to meth out of ease. and thirdly, as you stated yourself it still puts you in the same mental state. maybe not to the extreme but your still crazy, and emotional, and cant think straight, and everything either seems amazing or the end all be all. and then you smoke a shit ton of weed to eat, take opiates or a shit ton of otc sleep aids to sleep, the list goes on. it reality high doses of amphetamines really are no better. they just kill you slower.

the best thing to do would be to move. speaking from experience youll never just be able to "do it on saturdays or the weekends" and the longer you are there, the more you will convince yourself that its fine that your use has gotten to what ever point it gets to. and it will only go down hill, it never really gets better. moving was the best thing i could have done for myself. i would probably be dead by now if i had stayed in my home town.

and yes, there is basically no meth in jersey. as a former tweaker, i have looked and i know plently of people who have looked for me. you have to know someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone, and even then..youll prob never find it. i mean i only know one friend who actually got it once and that was the only time hes seen it, and hes been in the game for atleast 10 years. im not saying its not there, but its damn hard to find man. youd be better off becoming a heroin addict - plenty of that there..and its powder too so you get kinda spoiled, or a crackhead and even that can be kinda annoying to find and to find a good batch if you dont know where to go.

and NJ is the butt of jokes because it sucks. Northern Jersey is pretty much just a borrow of NYC and southern is just fuckin weird. idk plain and simple..it sucks balls.

 

[caseface99]

Why is New Jersey the butt of many jokes ? Can someone explain in case I find myself there one day ? ; )

Because the State can be summed up by kids sitting around doing nothing(drugs) in parking lots, ghetto ass run down inner city dumpholes every other exit of the highway, more drugs, more kids doing nothing, a ton of cops that either have nothing better to do so they harass you, or your in the hood so they harass you, and basically just alot of

 

[Kenaz]

and yes, there is basically no meth in jersey. as a former tweaker, i have looked and i know plently of people who have looked for me. you have to know someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone, and even then..youll prob never find it. im not saying its not there, but its damn hard to find man. youd be better of becoming a heroin addict - plenty of that there.

In the 1980s there was a big meth scene in Philly. I went to school a few hours away but I still managed to get a good smell of some of the City of Brotherly Love's finest. I wonder if there are still a lot of tweakers in Kensington and Fishtown or if they all got gentrified out by the hipster junkies...

And my partner in crime says that meth is quite easy to find in New Jersey if you are at all plugged into the gay scene. There are plenty of lavender lads who loves themselves some Miss Tina. You may have to go to a club in New York to find them, but we're the country's largest bedroom community anyway

 

[DexysMidnightRuner]

exactly..there are your two big keys. philly is not in jersey..yes right across the border but still..and you most likely have to go to a club in NY. like i said its not impossible to find, but your most likely NOT going to find it in the hoods IN jersey. over the boarder sure, but when your a drug addict who can afford the gas or the train ticket to get to NY just for meth..or drive 3 hrs to philly. (from where i was located, northern jersey). plus, how many of us have flamingly gay druggie friends when your generally not in the club scene in the first place. jersey sucks because the only hoods that are close enough to drive to only have heroin and crack..and you have to have money to get to NY to have any fun..& who has money? ha

 

[rollingstoned!]

Move to New Jersey, people have flamed me incessantly for saying "theres no meth on the east coast", so fine, ill say theres no meth in New Jersey. Could you find it if you knew the right person? Sure why not. But you wont have remotely easy access to it. Myself and a few other people tried to find it for years. The only things easy to find are weed, heroin, crack, and shitty e pills.

So yes, in short there are places you can move and not be surrounded by meth. New Jersey is a shit hole, but at least compared to the rest of the country meth is virtually non existent.

Eh that's a bit of a hardcore move. NJ is full of drugs, including meth...in the form of e pills. And you can find potent meth dealers. Worse, our doctors throw out scripts of speed (or any other drug you want) to most anyone. Not to mention you can cheaply buy adderall/dexedrine off the street from a lot of people who don't want theirs. But then again we have a lot of drug rehabs and people who have been in your situation who would be willing to help you out.

 

[aeorowar]

I'm not sure if I'll be moving to America anytime soon. It doesn't really sound like a viable solution, where would I go ? How would I support myself and study ?

 

[Project Will]

I am not from the UK,
I am actually from Australia.

...

Why is New Jersey the butt of many jokes ? Can someone explain in case I find myself there one day ? ; )

American women love Australian accents too

I have actually had a few good times in New Jersey, but it also has it's downsides: Lots of garbage dumps, you can't pump your own gas (is this still the case?), high taxes, the cops are complete pricks, high crime rate, it smells bad, lots of expensive toll roads, pot holes everywhere, the Jonas Brothers live there, they have their own devil, the state dance is the square dance, very strict gun laws (BB guns are considered firearms), lots of traffic, Newark, long history of corruption, guidos, the TV show Jersey Shores, you have to PAY to park at the beach...

But New Jersey has some cool shit too: Atlantic city, gambling, good schools, medical marijuana, public transportation, one of the highest per-capita incomes in the country, Tony Soprano, very diverse population...

The state slogan is "Come See For Yourself!" so you should decide for yourself.