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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

The Sad Thread (Anti-Snoo)

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Guess noone has been sad in a while, this thread buried on page 5 of EADD.

Found out this morning that my mum's got cancer :( she only found out on Tuesday and she has another appointment soon to find out more about it, is throat cancer though and she will definitely need an op and radiotherapy, I'm really scared for her and really sad that I can't be there for her in person.

Spoke on the phone with my sister today for almost two hours talking about stuff, my sister is really not well either, her crohns is flaring up again and she's in constant pain too, apparently she wears two fent patches but it still isn't enough, even with the oxy she takes too.

I'm just really sad that my mum and sister are in so much pain.

What is making me more sad, which may seem realy selfish though is that I haven't cried about my mum yet, I always thought if one of my parents got cancer I would cry, I do feel really sad and I am really scared and worried, but nothing has come out of my eyes or even close to, I guess maybe I still don't quite believe it, my dad did wake me up at 8.30am this morning on the phone to tell me and then I've been at work all day till 7.

Life is crap sometimes, but I've just been telling my lil sis to love the world and not hate it and it will eventually love her back, she hasn't seen any love from the world in a fucking long time though and is losing hope that it will ever come, is really sad.

My mum's going to phone me on Monday, I'm looking forward to speaking to her, but it's going to be a sad phonecall, I think I'll probably end up crying on the phone, but I want to try and stay strong for her.

:(
 
We're expected to suppress our emotions, Mugz. We're taught that crying is unseemly. A load of bullshit if you ask me.

My mum and dad have both had cancer and both survived, indeed thrived. Obviously it's not like that for everyone but I hope it is for your mum. Even if you can't be there for her all the time, be there for her when you can!
 
Thanks knock, I'll be there for her all that I can in spirit and on the phone, but she lives thousands of miles away so I can't really be there for her in person unless I fly out to california.

Apparently it is treatable and it should turn out all right in the end, been googling the hell out of it though and when my sister says that my mum has a massive lump coming out of her neck aswell as the shit on her tonsils it sounds gloomy to me, I hope that it is all going to be ok, they still don't know what stage it's at yet, im hoping they caught it early enough to treat without causing too much long term damage.

Really does suck that she's only 52 too, she shouldn't be getting cancer, she's been through enough as it is :(
 
Mugz, I feel for you a really do Mrs atm's mum had cancer for many years before eventually loosing the battle, very hard times and the grieving will never stop. I'd known her since I was 15, she was like a second mother to me. Don't worry about the crying, she never did any that anyone saw, thats what she was like, she didn't really approve of showing emotion like that. When and if you need to the tears will come.

I'm going down at the weekend to see my grandmother who is dying of cancer, she's 90 but always seemed immortal, but no is. I think I'm very much like her in lots of ways she always makes me feel special to her, its breaking my heart even though I know she has had a long life. I've got to go and pick up her car and bring it back to mine to sell it because she has said she will never drive it again.

I've been to see her a few times in hospital but they have sent her home now, there isn't anything more they can do and ther isn't a hospice place at the moment. I just take every opportunity to tell her how much I love her and how special she is to me, she has always lived a fair way away but I've always seen her fairly often.

Oddly despite the ADs I was the only one to shed a tear when the family visited her in Hospital, my family is emotionally crippled in a big way as many are, partly why I've been at odds with them a bit over the years, i want to talk about stuff they would rather sweep it all under the carpet. Keep talking to her Mugz, keep telling her how you feel and how much you love her, ill or not. My father never says that to me despite me discussing it with him a part of my therapy, but I always say it to him and that's enough for me now.

All the best to you and I hope you mum pulls through, cancer is a scary word but it doesn't mean the end for lots of people. I hope you mum gets well soon.

Best Wishes
 
Thanks guys for the support, especially atm, sorry about your grandma too, lost mine a few years back quite suddenly, well it was sudden considering she was recovering from something else then had an aneurysm :( I had dinner at my aunts a couple of weeks ago, my grans daughter and she's getting on a bit now, over retirement age, and I looked at her face when we were sitting in the kitchen and just saw my gran, I'd never really noticed a great likeness before, but at that moment I could just see my grans face looking at me through my aunt, it was really sad actually, I didn't mention anything at the time though.

I'm pretty sure, from what little I know that they have got my mums cancer in time for it not to be too bad, probably about 6 months of treatment and stuff to get it into remission, they wouldn't schedule the next appointment for a whole week later if it was super urgent.

Am pretty worried about my sis though, on the phone yesterday, she mentioned that she has some abnormal growths in her colon from the crohns disease that could either be cancerous or benign, she has to wait till next week to find out too, it's all going a bit tits up over in California, so much for sun, sea, sand, surf and happiness :\
 
Dude, my mum has just gotten through a cancer battle, it took 2 lots of surgery, chemo, and radiotherapy but she is now in the clear. We're a close family and it was awful for us all, you just feel so powerless y'know, it was a horrible year but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, hang in and be strong for her. All the very best.
 
Anti-Snoo: Where the fuck is the thread!?!?!?

My best friend, my closest friend, has just had his GF brake up with him.
I won't go into the reasons but fuckin hell... I love them both. And the reasons are petty compared to what he's done / been through.

I'm so broken by this news that I'm questioning the idea of Love again.

Is happiness ever sustainable for an eternity? If this is anything to go by, then it's evidently not.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Fuckin' hell monsta you're so nice!

If my mate split with his girlfriend I'd be sad for him, of course, but I'd be pleased to have more of him for me!
 
Happiness and love for another are 2 different things entirely IMO and IME.

"Is happiness ever sustainable for an eternity?"

Fekin hell eternity, that's a long time;) how would we ever know, I've been with Mrs atm since I was 15 and we have never broken up or separated in that entire time, up and downs yes but I've always loved her but I've not always been happy.

Its hard when friends break up, recently a close friend who I've known for many years got divorced and it was messy, I found the whole thing very upsetting so can empathise with your feelings. But in the end you have no idea what goes on between 2 people in a relationship.
 
That's sad for them, but it may be for the best, as said you never really know what goes on in someone's relationship. You're a good, kind man and I know you'll be there for them both <3

I tend to believe happiness is a fleeting feeling, like the rest of them, it comes and goes. Nothing much stays the same for long, especially true when it comes to emotions, thoughts and feelings...

Having an expectation that happiness could / should be with you forever and is linked to being in love is setting yourself up for disappointment.

Much <3 to you.
 
Just helped my ex load up the van with her stuff and off she went, am now sat in an empty flat with just a bed and my stuff in bags :(
 
Merged with existing thread.

Monsta <3 much love to your friend, break ups a rough.

BCF.. that really sucks dude. Makes it seem so real, I imagine. Got any moneys at all? Panacea, Bong-Ra and Producer at the Swan on Sat, my sis and her bf are coming but I'm sure I could find you floorspace to crash.. *hugs* <3
 
People who create an argument with somebody close to them, let the other person get upset, say hurtful things and then decide they're walking away. Fucking horrible, emotionally abusive control trick. Especially when it's followed up with an attempt to act 'normal'.

There's a massive difference between a mutually-agreed cooling-off period and a unilateral decision to deny the other person a chance to resolve things, or even say their piece.

People can be really disgusting.
 
hrmn, that ain't a nice situation, agreed

I've been in my fair share of similar situations, and even the purp of such circumstances occasionally, but not quite in the way you've outlined. Due to needing to manage my sanity levels, i've become pretty strict with what I'm prepared to 'argue' about, and how I'm prepared to discuss things. It has to be constructive (not abusive in nature) and it has to be done in a productive way, otherwise I wont take part, and I can walk away without any burden of guilt from situations that don't adhere to that

Not that you can be rational all the time, but you can agree to 'park' things, as you say, but when that's being forced upon you, AND it's following deliberate nastiness, it's what I'd class as a cunt's trick, and ultimately that kind of behaviour leaves you without a voice when you need it most. even if it's just to vent about how they made you (unjustly) feel. Frustrating beyond words.

I'd definitely be picking that up at a neutral time and asking them some questions in such a manner they can't wriggle out of, and spelling out the trick that they pulled in verbal format, to let them know what a shitty mechanism it is to use on someone. They should, if they're fair, come to you and apologies, before you have to bring it up with them really

hope the inevitable misery effects of your encounter wear off soon <3
 
Lost my best friend Sunday night, not lost as in dead, but lost as in can no longer be friends, also learned that I can't be trusted on MXE around others, especially exes as that is what caused me to lose the friend, that and my utter disasterness as a human being. It's sad, and horrible that I fucked up a great friendship, but maybe it is good in the grand scheme of things as it should allow me to move on at last and try and figure some things out. Its still very sad to lose my best friend after we had had a really nice day together and I ruined it. I'm not going to go into details except for saying that I was a mess and I'm incredibly embarrassed and fucked up in the head even more now.
 
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