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The Sad Thread (Anti-Snoo)
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angelsmoke
Bluelighter
Urgh, people have so much better reasons for being sad than me.
I'm just feeling down, and lonely, and bored, and tired of life. Left hand side of my face is a swollen mess from spots. I never had spots this bad when I was a teenager, but they have just got worse and worse the last few years. Been to the doctor, tried all sorts of shit, no luck. Have a spot on my chest so big I look like Iron Man. I'm disgusting.
It's been a few weeks since I've done any drugs, probably why I am so bored. Seems like I just can't find a way to enjoy life sober. What do people DO with all their time?
The high winds have blown my fence down, and the brackets holding it in place are all twisted, so looks like I'll have to involve my landlady. I'd rather just nail it back together myself! My landlady is alright (google chrome's spell checker says "alright" isn't a word?!) and never gives me any grief but I just like to keep myself to myself.
I want a drink. I have been 10 rounds with alcohol a few years back and really don't want to get back into that. But I also don't like feeling like this. Just fed up of it all.
Meh, I should just suck it up -- fence post, spottiness, loneliness, druglessness. It's really not so bad, especially in light of what others around here are going through at the moment. Yes, I will suck it up and not drinky.
Thanks for listening to me moan
I feel kinda better now I've moaned. I guess that's why people have friends. Wish I had some friends. naaah stoppit, moaning time done now!!
I'm just feeling down, and lonely, and bored, and tired of life. Left hand side of my face is a swollen mess from spots. I never had spots this bad when I was a teenager, but they have just got worse and worse the last few years. Been to the doctor, tried all sorts of shit, no luck. Have a spot on my chest so big I look like Iron Man. I'm disgusting.
It's been a few weeks since I've done any drugs, probably why I am so bored. Seems like I just can't find a way to enjoy life sober. What do people DO with all their time?
The high winds have blown my fence down, and the brackets holding it in place are all twisted, so looks like I'll have to involve my landlady. I'd rather just nail it back together myself! My landlady is alright (google chrome's spell checker says "alright" isn't a word?!) and never gives me any grief but I just like to keep myself to myself.
I want a drink. I have been 10 rounds with alcohol a few years back and really don't want to get back into that. But I also don't like feeling like this. Just fed up of it all.
Meh, I should just suck it up -- fence post, spottiness, loneliness, druglessness. It's really not so bad, especially in light of what others around here are going through at the moment. Yes, I will suck it up and not drinky.
Thanks for listening to me moan
I feel kinda better now I've moaned. I guess that's why people have friends. Wish I had some friends. naaah stoppit, moaning time done now!!Unhappiness is a very personal and relative thing. Fro what I knew of Dave he'd be among the first to poin that out, so don't get guilty over your own sadness. That'll lead to some kind of gloomy vortex. 
Be thankful you're not in a dusty room drinking Polish super-strength lager, necking tramadol and smoing weed having just traipsed home from your ex's after a charity tagine because u're 'looking thin'. In your thirties.
There's abject, pathetic, and then there are words that they daren't even put in the dictionary.
Be thankful you're not in a dusty room drinking Polish super-strength lager, necking tramadol and smoing weed having just traipsed home from your ex's after a charity tagine because u're 'looking thin'. In your thirties.
There's abject, pathetic, and then there are words that they daren't even put in the dictionary.
I was going to quote Marley (been listening to Zion train this morning so had him in mind)
"Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet."
But when I looked for the exact quote a found a whole page, I may not believe in prophets but this man had many a wise word:-
Bob_Marley quotes
"Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet."
But when I looked for the exact quote a found a whole page, I may not believe in prophets but this man had many a wise word:-
Bob_Marley quotes
Glowing aaron
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2010
- Messages
- 322
About to dump a load personal pain and greif here, but i guess thats what its for?
Buried my friend today, such a loss only 19. I hate it when every time someone dies the angels on earth quotes get rolled out, but she was truly a kind and magnificent person. So many scum bags out there why her? She is resting in a beautiful and peaceful woodland, somewhere she would of loved to visit.
Ive just started uni but don't have the heart to tell any of my new friends or talk about it don't want to make anyone else sad, too much sadness in this world as it is.
RIP i will see you again xxxx
Buried my friend today, such a loss only 19. I hate it when every time someone dies the angels on earth quotes get rolled out, but she was truly a kind and magnificent person. So many scum bags out there why her? She is resting in a beautiful and peaceful woodland, somewhere she would of loved to visit.
Ive just started uni but don't have the heart to tell any of my new friends or talk about it don't want to make anyone else sad, too much sadness in this world as it is.
RIP i will see you again xxxx
I'm so sorry your grief is insurmountable - so sad honey nothing no one can say will help just now, it'll take time, a long time. Big hugs
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
just really really sad.
made a massive emotional investment in something and am possibly going to see the fruits of my hard work having actually damaged what i was trying to protect.
after starting last night i can't stop comparing myself to a certain someone either, its so fucking dumb, there are more similarities between us than between most people.
and have had no choice but to put myself in a position which is a lose lose situation, with either loss being completely devastating.
and i can't drink. or i can, but i'll be really upset with myself if i do.
made a massive emotional investment in something and am possibly going to see the fruits of my hard work having actually damaged what i was trying to protect.
after starting last night i can't stop comparing myself to a certain someone either, its so fucking dumb, there are more similarities between us than between most people.
and have had no choice but to put myself in a position which is a lose lose situation, with either loss being completely devastating.
and i can't drink. or i can, but i'll be really upset with myself if i do.
^ ...
That's a lot all at once. I imagine that is what is making it feel so overwhelming and sad.. my pm box is always open if you want to chat/vent...
One thing I can say with absolute certainty - "this too shall pass" and no matter how absolutely bleak and hopeless things might seem, they will not be this way forever. I promise.
...That's a lot all at once. I imagine that is what is making it feel so overwhelming and sad.. my pm box is always open if you want to chat/vent...
One thing I can say with absolute certainty - "this too shall pass" and no matter how absolutely bleak and hopeless things might seem, they will not be this way forever. I promise.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
thank you effie, and you're right, it will pass, though i shouldn't have put myself through it in the first place. grrr and by feeling like this i'm too distracted to work properly which makes the worse loss (rejection) of said lose lose situation far more likely.
joe90
Bluelighter
Urgh, people have so much better reasons for being sad than me.
I'm just feeling down, and lonely, and bored, and tired of life. Left hand side of my face is a swollen mess from spots. I never had spots this bad when I was a teenager, but they have just got worse and worse the last few years. Been to the doctor, tried all sorts of shit, no luck. Have a spot on my chest so big I look like Iron Man. I'm disgusting.
It's been a few weeks since I've done any drugs, probably why I am so bored. Seems like I just can't find a way to enjoy life sober. What do people DO with all their time?
The high winds have blown my fence down, and the brackets holding it in place are all twisted, so looks like I'll have to involve my landlady. I'd rather just nail it back together myself! My landlady is alright (google chrome's spell checker says "alright" isn't a word?!) and never gives me any grief but I just like to keep myself to myself.
I want a drink. I have been 10 rounds with alcohol a few years back and really don't want to get back into that. But I also don't like feeling like this. Just fed up of it all.
Meh, I should just suck it up -- fence post, spottiness, loneliness, druglessness. It's really not so bad, especially in light of what others around here are going through at the moment. Yes, I will suck it up and not drinky.
Thanks for listening to me moan
Just read you post albeit months later but it touched me and I hope your feeling better now.
sorry for your loss aaron, sounds tough. RIP your friend. Sending thoughts to others with sadness, however big or small too...
I am so lucky and fortunate n i'm living in a wicked city in a new country, and yet i still procrastinate, stay up half the night and feel like i'm fucking up. Can't help feeling lonely n lost, and i haven't found a proper job yet, so money stress will kick in at some point. Mainly need to not stress n just get on with it haha, but aye, sometimes it's easier said than done, especially when yer dealing with the nightmare of spanish bureaucracy n stuff! man. to top it off my girlfriend lives like 2500km away, which is fine mostly, as when we do see each other it's great like, but also i'm quite a long way from family n friends at the moment, mostly enjjoying the challenge/adventure but sometimes it's a bit much eh.
there's lots of good stuff to be cheery to focus upon though, like the prospects of a drug-fuelled night out tonight with some sound peeps (possibly) %)
I am so lucky and fortunate n i'm living in a wicked city in a new country, and yet i still procrastinate, stay up half the night and feel like i'm fucking up. Can't help feeling lonely n lost, and i haven't found a proper job yet, so money stress will kick in at some point. Mainly need to not stress n just get on with it haha, but aye, sometimes it's easier said than done, especially when yer dealing with the nightmare of spanish bureaucracy n stuff! man. to top it off my girlfriend lives like 2500km away, which is fine mostly, as when we do see each other it's great like, but also i'm quite a long way from family n friends at the moment, mostly enjjoying the challenge/adventure but sometimes it's a bit much eh.
there's lots of good stuff to be cheery to focus upon though, like the prospects of a drug-fuelled night out tonight with some sound peeps (possibly) %)
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Sorry you're feeling a little lonely and lost Ricklet! It takes time to feel at home in a new place.. the first few months in Bristol I felt exactly the same, now it is 100% my home. Give it some time
When I was in Inda/Nepal I felt the same too, but with the added being in a foreign country thing, so I can definitely relate. Spent half my time loving the new experiences and half horribly homesick.. it gets easier though, it really does
Challenges can be, well, challenging but it sounds like overall the positives will definitely outweigh the negatives. Enjoy your drug-fuelled night :D
When I was in Inda/Nepal I felt the same too, but with the added being in a foreign country thing, so I can definitely relate. Spent half my time loving the new experiences and half horribly homesick.. it gets easier though, it really does
Challenges can be, well, challenging but it sounds like overall the positives will definitely outweigh the negatives. Enjoy your drug-fuelled night :D
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
argh just found out the hard drive my laptop was backed up onto has failed. absolutely unbelievably gutted. 6 years of photos, diary entries and other documents relating to really important periods in my life, all my uni work, pre leeds. what had become decent theraputic tools, personalised anti-triggers, from when i was ill. without them i feel like that period will sink into unreality, and become less of a frightening period to return to.
going to ask some people who may have pictures to cover some bits.
feel much angrier at whoever took my laptop as a result, losing money is one thing, all that is another.
going to ask some people who may have pictures to cover some bits.
feel much angrier at whoever took my laptop as a result, losing money is one thing, all that is another.
brimz
Bluelighter
That's shite luv , even when i was really bad on substances i never even contemplated taking another persons possessions .
I hope you can get some of pics back from another source or something.
I keep all my photos on my Mums computer as she has loads of memory that she don't use i too would be very upset if i lost some of them .
I hope you can get some of pics back from another source or something.
I keep all my photos on my Mums computer as she has loads of memory that she don't use i too would be very upset if i lost some of them .
trammies
Bluelighter
And there's supposed to be different software which you can buy for cheaper which can have a stab at it too, isn't there? Hope that's any help
I remember when I lost all of my sentimental files... It's not a great thing, it really isn't, but as we all have learned, time is a healer (sorry if that sounds patronising, it really is NOT meant to be )
Any time I ever feel in a... Mood... I feel stupid for it.
I had it beaten into my mind for such a long time that I wasn't "okay", so that, even now, I find it hard to tell if I ever really was, or not. Or whether I even am now, unless I feel good in the sense of actual glowing happiness.
Sometimes a small insignificant thought pops in my head which convinces me there's something wrong. I convince myself there's something wrong whilst forcing myself to believe there isn't anything going on really, all the while hiding it under a veil to everyone acting like everything's perfect...
But in reality... It is...
I always feel stupid for a "mood" too. I'm 17, live in comfort and go to a good school. What on earth could I have to complain about? Apparently nothing...
But that's just the mind isn't it? As confusing as it is simple. Mine has always been this way... Or not... I don't really know... Rambling always seems to help a bit. Explaining it to people you'll probably never meet brings comfort in its own weird way.
I remember when I lost all of my sentimental files... It's not a great thing, it really isn't, but as we all have learned, time is a healer
(sorry if that sounds patronising, it really is NOT meant to be )Any time I ever feel in a... Mood... I feel stupid for it.
I had it beaten into my mind for such a long time that I wasn't "okay", so that, even now, I find it hard to tell if I ever really was, or not. Or whether I even am now, unless I feel good in the sense of actual glowing happiness.
Sometimes a small insignificant thought pops in my head which convinces me there's something wrong. I convince myself there's something wrong whilst forcing myself to believe there isn't anything going on really, all the while hiding it under a veil to everyone acting like everything's perfect...
But in reality... It is...
I always feel stupid for a "mood" too. I'm 17, live in comfort and go to a good school. What on earth could I have to complain about? Apparently nothing...
But that's just the mind isn't it? As confusing as it is simple. Mine has always been this way... Or not... I don't really know... Rambling always seems to help a bit. Explaining it to people you'll probably never meet brings comfort in its own weird way.
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The hard drive would have to spin up for that to work so you can set it up as a slave and access it from another pc. Putting the hard drive in the freezer might give it half an hours life back.
I properly killed an old hard drive of mine the other day by drilling about 70 holes in the actual metallic(was non magnetic) disk, try recovering anything from that.
I properly killed an old hard drive of mine the other day by drilling about 70 holes in the actual metallic(was non magnetic) disk, try recovering anything from that.
jancrow
Bluelighter
Chinup, how has the HD failed? Sometimes it's possible to get these things back but I don't want to get your hopes up as sometimes it really isn't.
Just had the worst night of nightmares so far, it seems to be a building side effect from the Venlafaxine, I feel proper dodgy now and have to go into London on train and tube for a fancy meeting thing.
Trying to taper of the Diaz but I'm going to have to drop a couple to get myself together, pissed off about it as my CBT work seems to be paying off and I have been tolerating the Venflaxine quite well until the nightmares startle to build 4-5 weeks back. All my depression and anxiety scores are way down but this is kicking me about every morning now.
PIL - Bad Night
Trying to taper of the Diaz but I'm going to have to drop a couple to get myself together, pissed off about it as my CBT work seems to be paying off and I have been tolerating the Venflaxine quite well until the nightmares startle to build 4-5 weeks back. All my depression and anxiety scores are way down but this is kicking me about every morning now.
PIL - Bad Night
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