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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Mental Health The Rant Thread Vs. Really? How Does That Make You Feel?

paranoid android said:
OMG this fucking chair is killing my fucking back and fucking hip. I dont know how im going to get money for a new fuckin chair but i guess ill get it. Fml
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I hope you can get the chair, it will be well worth it for your back. I’m the same way with my current mattress, I need a new one cause it’s killing my back (but ay ay ay everything costs money lol).
Hugs 💜
 
I feel sick inside, like my body and soul are being separated by a serial killer, like some gruesome piece of filth that broke into my home to kill me
 
How can I express...sorrow from. Evil
Shrouded and dark like a procession
Set up by the insane
To disfigured maim and hang
Like a monster, freak, or outsider
Let me sit on the porch until
I am
Meat. Meat meat
 
Nothing is real
All things are trash
I writhe at the bottom of a trash heap
Garbage blanketing my limbs
I swim in trash
I am of scum
My jacket is unwashed
See almost a mold on it
I steal my water from your hose
I am kicked out of my targeted bed
Where I belong
To the bottom rung of the streets below
 
Beautiful life I cannot penetrate like
A flower stuck inside a grate
I wonder around this wonderland town
Where your face used to shine
Like the velveteen rabbit
 
Gotta get Budah to the doctor on the 15. I dislike Drs and don't trust anyone around my babies. Stressed that they will keep her for a night or more. I know it's going to be expensive as hell but don't gaf if it helps her. Would give my life (or take one) for my babies.
❤️

Not sure how much it's going to be yet but taking two grand in cash. If it's more than that maybe I can get on a payment plan. Maybe they have a sliding scale for costs hopefully... whatever.
Stressed about her well being.
 
PtahTek said:
Gotta get Budah to the doctor on the 15. I dislike Drs and don't trust anyone around my babies. Stressed that they will keep her for a night or more. I know it's going to be expensive as hell but don't gaf if it helps her. Would give my life (or take one) for my babies.
❤️

Not sure how much it's going to be yet but taking two grand in cash. If it's more than that maybe I can get on a payment plan. Maybe they have a sliding scale for costs hopefully... whatever.
Stressed about her well being.
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Respect 👊❤️
 
I used to be pretty and I don't care, with everyone calling me ugly I'm posting evidence photos of what the government and Jonathon Burcham did to me!!!

Evidence 1: my stomach filled with actual shit.

ibb.co

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Image 17572824441446917109229271438315 hosted on ImgBB
ibb.co ibb.co

First of all, I had an EATING DISORDER CALLED OSFED OR EDNOS and I DEFINITELY HAD PURGING DISORDER. I DONT EVER HARDLY EAT - THEY USE TECHNOLOGY SO I CANT TAKE A SHIT---EVER. WHY THE FUCK WOULD I LOOK THAT FUCKING SLOPPY I CAN COUNT A CALORIE IM A 37 YR OLD WOMAN

Here you can see under the makeup my eyebrows were totally shaved off (against my will ) and you can see where I was punched in the nose. I used to have a cute profile. They cracked my nose apart and gave me a huge bump

ibb.co

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ibb.co ibb.co

Here you can see what they did to my hair, they used direct energy weapons to EXTREMELY thin my hair out, making it sick ugly and limp. Then it was fried and burned after they stopped it from growing. I can guarantee you I could find every hair designer I ever had in my LIFE with a pair of scissors on my head and also Randoms who would compliment me on my NICE THICK hair who could all help me put the federal government in prison for DEW. First they stopped it from growing after burning it then they zapped the entire thickness off. What did it feel like? Putting electrolysis on your fucking head. I'm not confused.

ibb.co

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Image 17572828973898673139655789003723 hosted on ImgBB
ibb.co ibb.co

Every day of my LIFE revolved around counting calories or purging. ITS MY OWN FUCKING BUSINESS NONE OF YOURS. my most important message board was myproana.com. which unfortunately was done away with. My nose was obvs cracked apart and disfigured -- the police took a photo when it happened. The man who did it told me I'd be skinny alive in his house and I quickly ceased to be able to SHIT -- WHILE STARVING. my entire torso became so.disfigured in his house that I looked pregnant and accidentally broke all the glass jars and glass objects in the house before i.left

The man who broke my face and made me fat invited me out of a disabled home I "didn't have rent for" knowing full well I am anorexic looks disabled. My ex boyfriend put me there told me to be "homeless" there so Jonathon could pick me up and disfigure and there was a third -- I am not allowed to talk about him online I believe you have seen it on comedy central
 
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I don't think you are in any way dumb(from reading your posts on here). You probably made poor choices, even though probably stuck in a bad situation- that's what we do when we've numbed ourselves from using our intuition. 💜

When you're vulnerable (always hated hearing that) when you're fucked, you're vulnerable - the vultures will sniff you out. You'll always be needy & rageful, in that cycle of abuse.

You can do better for yourself, I know you will. You deserve better.
Also, arbitrarily, you are still pretty. Don't let anyone use that. 💜
 
Asclepius said:
I don't think you are in any way dumb(from reading your posts on here). You probably made poor choices, even though probably stuck in a bad situation- that's what we do when we've numbed ourselves from using our intuition. 💜

When you're vulnerable (always hated hearing that) when you're fucked, you're vulnerable - the vultures will sniff you out. You'll always be needy & rageful, in that cycle of abuse.

You can do better for yourself, I know you will. You deserve better.
Also, arbitrarily, you are still pretty. Don't let anyone use that. 💜
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Thank you so much.

I never truly thought I was stupid, but I think anyone I ever tried to meet who I thought cared about intellect was seriously lying :/
 
All Souls Day Candle GIF by MOODMAN


Wicked

Anyway

Apparently I'm not supposed to notice that psychos live in literally Florida and don't mind disfiguring or maiming themselves, maybe even killing themselves and definitely killing animals. I don't think we should call me too ugly in my life when I can feel everything. First of being ugly doesn't mean you rape. Second of all everything is recorded so it's abuse to lie to me and they'd basically be raping themselves. I've seen the fake disabled, people who cut their legs off just to have me look at them in a wheelchair, I've seen psychos smoke POUNDS of toxic Lysol shake and bake meth, I've seen EVERYONE sit there and gnaw their meat and I CAN TELL YOU I asked my first boyfriend to BRUSH HIS FUCKING TEETH before he touched me. I've been in HOURS long unnecessary rides on highways being driven by other people, I've seen an airport, I've seen...a million billion non tactile things. Animal cruelty, insect cruelty, rape, and more. So called "people" just hanging out in the freezing fucking cold outside without much clothing on. What, were hit by lightning? Why not just admit it?

If you hadn't designed me ugly or in my better estimation totally disfigured me afterward instead of letting me correct it, you couldn't claim I don't have better sex and affection than you. Id have to be literally retarded.

Look in a cows eyes then put it in the slaughterhouse, "barbie spouse"
 
Everyone thinks it's okay to tell me abuse, rape, disease, and homicide, and chronic pain or torture is for the physically ugly. It's like being assaulted by everyone on the planet because it is. I don't care what they think about how I look. All of it is money and police abuse anyway. Why would you torture an animal for any reason. I'm tired of being called ugly every time I turn the TV on or listen to music or watch a movie. No one wants to be ugly. It's abusive.

As soon as they started the constant rape it was constant verbal abuse and then they added constant assault verbally with how I look. I don't care how anyone looks. You don't try to brain damage them with low self esteem.
 
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