• TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Mental Health The Rant Thread Vs. Really? How Does That Make You Feel?

I've been using too much lately.
My dude is the most reliable person I've ever met. Before I was going through him, he was my friends connect. If I include that time period as well, I've been going through this guy for over 15 years (knock on wood).
Always just got dope, but he started having hard as well a few months back. "I won't smoke crack without heroin" - my favorite line from 'Party Monster'

I've been "lost" for a while, but there was always one constant. I'm 37 and have worked on the clock for the same business for over 21.5 years. Including under the table, it's over 24 years. Now they are closed. I'm helping the owner to sell the equipment he has left. Not sure what I'm going to do next, but I would like for people to stop asking me.
I'd like to go back to school and finish my degree. I've identified myself as a "70-90 percenter". I don't know if that is actually a thing, but I frequently will do 70-90 percent of something, then when there is that last difficult hurdle, I fold. I think it was 120 credits to graduate. I had somewhere around 108-112. 108 would be 90% done.

I think this is some good ranting for the time being, but since I brought up school, if anyone is interested I could rant about that quite a bit. Particularly bad is how they try to push everyone in that direction. Knowing a trade or doing labor is looked down so much in America it's sickening. It's why most of my generation can't do anything with tools. Myself included. I'll just say the same line I've been saying since 2003. If everyone went to college, the only thing that would mean is that the janitor's would have college degrees. That's not putting janitor's down. They are a necessary part of most businesses, schools, etc. It's just that they don't need to have college debt to do that job. So far most of what I've learned in college has only helped in one area - watching Jeopardy. The only way that would be worth the thousands that were spent on college would be if I got on Jeopardy and won some decent money. The chances of that are probably the same as the chance that anyone has read up to this point; slim, very slim. Slam into a Slim Jim! Never had one they look gross.

In conclusion, the cops knew that the other guys were undercover internal affairs the whole time.
 
bummer I am in the mood to party but have no money to go anywhere

What to do?

Not sure but certainly some lines need not be crossed like looking for street drugs in the part of town they call the ghetto just have to roll with the punches and find a way to not go do something ridiculous the pain of such choices perhaps has me not wanting to do it but then when a man has nothing to lose…
 
So I got sent home from work this evening for being vocal about a legitimate complaint, by a brand new leader in training, something i was 100% in the right on, and lied to my face in the process, basically all because he didn't want to correct his fucking butt buddy.

If they called right now and told me to turn my uniforms in tomorrow, I'd have no regrets. I knew I was right, I stood the fuck up for it, and I can sleep on that.

Employers are so adamant to drill into employees' heads that they're not irreplaceable... they leave out the part about how they aren't either. My criminal history and work history leave loads to be desired, and I'm not particularly skilled in any one area either... and yet, because I do in fact have half a brain, and I can use it, I've NEVER had the slightest bit of trouble finding work when I actually wanted it. It might not be glamorous, but opportunity is ALWAYS out there.

So yeah, to Steven, my bitch ass leader from tonight - Suck it. You do the shit, you whack ass lackey motherfucker. 🤣
 
I see. You both will be company for each other in heaven now. Until you will both go and make even more friends. Good bye. Now.
 
Only getting ~16 1/2 hrs of work ATM and it may be this way for a while. I could work more but this pays the bills and leaves time for "sober " introspection. No one else wants the hrs.... Dude needs a hand. Here I is. ;)
How do I feel about it?
Trusting the process.
57 dis month and somehow it has always worked out.
20hrs would be better, though. :LOL: But then that would leave room for a crack attack and dropped it. Again. I hope the tools I have accumulated are sufficient to bethe last.
1
 
The following are ramblings from a crack-fueled Carl. The following is entirely false, except for all the parts that are true, which is most of it.

No one will care about this and it has no importance whatsoever but I'd like to mention that I liked big butts before big butts were popular.
Freshman year I had this hot junior cheerleader in one of my classes. She had a cheerleader friend who I thought was just gorgeous. I had asked the girl in my class about this gorgeous girl and she said she'd talk to her or whatever. Then she asked if I thought anyone else in her grade was hot. I mentioned this one girl and her reaction was of confusion. She said, "But her butt is so big!" Not having the confidence to say what I actually thought, I just shrugged instead of saying, "Yeah, that's one of the reasons I think she is hot." This was back in fall 2000 (omg I'm old! How'd that happen? I think I was drugged!).
For a while now I've been trying to figure out which movie a certain quote is from. This quote illustrates the mentally that existed in the 90's/early 2000s regarding butts. The scene had 2 woman talking and one was talking about this younger woman who her spouse/partner left her for or something along those lines. The woman is describing the younger woman, saying stuff like "Her tits are still bouncy" that sort of thing. What she ended with was along the lines of "and to top it off, she's got an ass like an 8-year-old boy". That caused a little more than a double take on my part. I also find that disturbing. That's just a weird thing to say.

I think I could be a tastemaker. I also knew OCs were going to be huge before they got there. Who else would have thought that sexy butts and addictive drugs would be so popular? This guy that's who!
What's going to be big next? I don't know don't pressure me! I'll choke (unfortunately). I'd like to think working together to save the planet would get popular, but I know it won't. Hamburger earmuffs? No, no! I default to The Simpsons when I am searching for an answer. These types of things it's best not to force it and just let it come to you.

Also, as far as the gorgeous girl. I talked to her after a pep rally before the powder puff football game (girls play a football game against each other the day before Thanksgiving). She offered me a ride home. What did I say, "Thanks, but I already have a ride." 23 years later and that still pisses me off. What the fuck younger Carl?! I was in a state of euphoria just for talking to her and that she offered me a ride, that I didn't realize I had just blown my shot. Guess what? Another one never came! Maybe if I hadn't been so dumb and I had answered differently I could be Mr. Hot Cheerleader-rover today.

In conclusion, classic rock is both classic and it rocks.
 
Hate being in the rat race I'm just a piece of cheese and the cheese stands alone.
Ha
Fellin ok about it (so far).
Not a rat or guinea pig (well).....
Be safe, OK?
Peace
 
Hate being in the rat race I'm just a piece of cheese and the cheese stands alone.
Ha
Fellin ok about it (so far).
Not a rat or guinea pig (well).....
Be safe, OK?
Peace
All the worlds a trap and I'm just a rat trying to get some nookie
 
Was taking my pain meds as prescribed for a bit. Even got my doctor to write weekly scripts because i was trying to be good. A few weeks ago started banging them. Now i spend 3 days a week really high and now i'm on the days waiting for the script. Dunno is MS is starting to flair or i'm just dopesick. Zero energy. I have subs if i get sick but i hate them.
 
Why do i have to live in a neo liberal shithole? I have a toothache ad really need to get my teeth fixed but that costs money i don't have. Atleast i have morphine for the pain but if its infected ill need antibiotics. Due to not having any fucking doctors here i have to wait until my virtual doc gets back to me which could take a week for me to get a appointment.
 
Why do i have to live in a neo liberal shithole? I have a toothache ad really need to get my teeth fixed but that costs money i don't have. Atleast i have morphine for the pain but if its infected ill need antibiotics. Due to not having any fucking doctors here i have to wait until my virtual doc gets back to me which could take a week for me to get a appointment.
Our health care is shit. I have a neurologist but no family doctor. Thankfully the doc at my old meth clinic lets me use him as a family doctor
 
Get my script tomorrow but dam kinda nervous i'll bang them again , then be sick for a few days. But the pain is awful. I took a sub last night so i slept at least but i don't want that habit of hydromorph to subs every week
 
Our health care is shit. I have a neurologist but no family doctor. Thankfully the doc at my old meth clinic lets me use him as a family doctor

Are you from Canada to? Here your either stuck with a nurse practiconer or a online doctor like i have. I went to see the nurse practiconer but once she learned i was on lopiates her whole demenor changed. She was saying shit like oh we need to lower your dose of morphine and was even talking about lowering my clonazepam and zopiclone dose which she couldnt do as my shrink prescribes that. I hate nurses anyway after being in the psych ward. They are all dumb as fuck for the most part
 
Ya i'm in Ontario and it's awful. It's almost like they're killing it on purpose to bring in privatized
 
Because our health care is so awesome and free i just had to shell out 50 bucks to have a virtual call with a nurse practiconer because i cant get to see a real doctor or even get into see a nurse practiconer before xmas and i can't wait that long tyhis shit is painful. Fuck Canada and its shitty healthcare right off. Wish i lived in Cuba
 
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