What exactly do you do with yourself after you are cured? When your celebration of soberness fades, and you come to a harsh realization? You realize that every thought, experience you’ve had, every syllable, word, sentence that you’ve spoken, your life for the past year has been complete and utter bullshit.
What exactly do you do when all the beliefs, all the causes you lived for, all your opinions that you convinced yourself were right; were proven false? All these things, once sacred to you, have been completely stripped of all righteousness.
When you realize that you shut out old friends that wanted to help, and that they are now forever lost… what do you do? What do you do when all the friends you replaced them with seem spiritless, like lost causes? When you get to the point that any conversation with them results in a fight, or being called a hypocrite.
What do you do when all the memories from the last year make you cry? You want to think you are crying because of how wrong you were, but you know the tears you shed are streaming down your cheeks because you truly realize that it’s over, and there will be no more memories like these.
What do you do when you are no longer trusted by your family, but now you have no reason to be untrustworthy? When you try so hard to convince everyone that you’ve changed, but they can’t accept it because they’ve heard it so many times. Why can you relate to the Boy Who Cried Wolf?
What exactly do you do then, after all these harsh realizations? Where’s the doctor to prescribe a cure? Where’s the mother to make is better with a kiss? Where’s the Band-Aid that once healed all my wounds?
Am I just supposed to forget the past 365 days from my mind… hit delete like it’s all some sort of Microsoft Word file? The only answer I’ve gotten is that the mind, once expanded can never return to its original dimensions. I am left with a huge mind that over-thinks and exaggerates… the question isn’t :What do you do?: the question is :Was it worth it?:
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"What was the problem with just smoking a joint, eating a couple of Twinkies, and going to sleep? Was that a problem? They say marijuana leads to other drugs. No it doesn't, it leads to fucking carpentry. That's the problem, folks. People getting high going, "Wow man, this box would make an excellent bong! *snort* This guy's head would make an excellent bong! *snort*" Relax! That's why I stopped doing drugs in the first place. Not because I didn't like 'em, but because I didn't want to build anything, ok?"
--> Denis Leary
"We did it all. Cocaine? We started that. You're welcome! What a great drug that was. Yeah, I'd like to do some cocaine. I'd like to do a drug that makes my penis small, makes my nose bleed, makes my heart explode, and sucks all my money out of the bank. Is that possible please!? I'd like to make this face all night! I'd like to sit in the bathroom and talk to a complete asshole stranger for seven hours on end. Is that possible please!? With no penis and a nose bleed! Where do I sign up!? Take my penis away!"
--> Denis Leary
AKA: EISNOTASSWEETASU
What exactly do you do when all the beliefs, all the causes you lived for, all your opinions that you convinced yourself were right; were proven false? All these things, once sacred to you, have been completely stripped of all righteousness.
When you realize that you shut out old friends that wanted to help, and that they are now forever lost… what do you do? What do you do when all the friends you replaced them with seem spiritless, like lost causes? When you get to the point that any conversation with them results in a fight, or being called a hypocrite.
What do you do when all the memories from the last year make you cry? You want to think you are crying because of how wrong you were, but you know the tears you shed are streaming down your cheeks because you truly realize that it’s over, and there will be no more memories like these.
What do you do when you are no longer trusted by your family, but now you have no reason to be untrustworthy? When you try so hard to convince everyone that you’ve changed, but they can’t accept it because they’ve heard it so many times. Why can you relate to the Boy Who Cried Wolf?
What exactly do you do then, after all these harsh realizations? Where’s the doctor to prescribe a cure? Where’s the mother to make is better with a kiss? Where’s the Band-Aid that once healed all my wounds?
Am I just supposed to forget the past 365 days from my mind… hit delete like it’s all some sort of Microsoft Word file? The only answer I’ve gotten is that the mind, once expanded can never return to its original dimensions. I am left with a huge mind that over-thinks and exaggerates… the question isn’t :What do you do?: the question is :Was it worth it?:
------------------
"What was the problem with just smoking a joint, eating a couple of Twinkies, and going to sleep? Was that a problem? They say marijuana leads to other drugs. No it doesn't, it leads to fucking carpentry. That's the problem, folks. People getting high going, "Wow man, this box would make an excellent bong! *snort* This guy's head would make an excellent bong! *snort*" Relax! That's why I stopped doing drugs in the first place. Not because I didn't like 'em, but because I didn't want to build anything, ok?"
--> Denis Leary
"We did it all. Cocaine? We started that. You're welcome! What a great drug that was. Yeah, I'd like to do some cocaine. I'd like to do a drug that makes my penis small, makes my nose bleed, makes my heart explode, and sucks all my money out of the bank. Is that possible please!? I'd like to make this face all night! I'd like to sit in the bathroom and talk to a complete asshole stranger for seven hours on end. Is that possible please!? With no penis and a nose bleed! Where do I sign up!? Take my penis away!"
--> Denis Leary
AKA: EISNOTASSWEETASU
