The Person I Was

I used to have my shit together. I was successful and respected.

I used to be ok being in my own skin. I used to be strong of mind and heart.

I don't recognize myself anymore. I fuckin' hate who I am. I don't enjoy life and would love to die. I can't yet because I have an amazing dog that is so full of love and gentleness. He would be confused if I weren't around anymore.

I NEED to use everyday so that I don't think or feel. I think I'm just waiting for my dog to die so I can take myself out.

I've felt like this before.

I think I'll take the advice of another BL'er and post something on TDS to get honest opinions from others who are just like me.

Thats why I dig BL. We're all pretty much the same. Some have been there, some are there at the moment and some are destined to be there sometime in the future.

I'm an addict who doesn't care. I use bent, old, unsterilized needles. I work for the sole purpose of getting paid at the end of the night so I can go to the city for my shit.

I get hungry but have difficulty eating.

I dunno, I don't think I'll ever be me again

 

You're still you. I only know you from on Bluelight, but I can tell just by that that you're a kind and warm person. I know it's hard but try not to let your life get in the way of living if that makes any sense at all lol. You're good people and shouldn't be so hard on yourself.