@FM I gotta say harsh but true.
I have major pain issues & ATM due to some fucked up shit that I won't mention here, as I've explained in;
TDS &/or Mental Health forum threads I am currently on a taper of my Pain Meds & Benzo's to boot.
It's a long story so if you want more info check the threads I post in, in those forums.
Long story short, I have major pain issues in back due to S Curve Dextro Scoliosis.
Extreme pain in my lower left abdominal quadrant that has never been diagnosed reason wise.
As well as major GI issues that the doctors having no fucking clue decided to call IBS... 8)
I'm 31 now & at about 25 the back issues hit me like a train when I injured my back exercising/weight lifting.
I should have known better than to get into exercising especially without learning proper form.
Apparently proper form is very key in the whole deal but I didn't realize that.
So I started out with some Tramadol & some Vicodin or Percocet thinking it would go away.
Well it didn't it just got worse, then the Abdominal issue reared it's ugly head & I was off.
I had, had multiple colonoscopy/endoscopy procedures, mri's of back etc.
When finally they though I had a hernia & did a laparoscopy of my abdominal region.
Originally to remove the hernia, which I didn't end up having & also to find out why I had fluid in pelvic area.
Apparently that's not normal for males, though they didn't discover why I had said fluid.
Basically they didn't discover a damn thing, didn't remove a hernia & just made things hurt for no reason.
Either way the surgeon said I was going to have pain issues my whole life & referred me to PM.
Now by this point I had already gotten badly hooked on opiates & had quit for 6 months prior to procedure.
By badly hooked I mean up to say 100-150mg per day of Oxymorphone nasally via a nasal spray I made.
As I recall I posted the procedure on here. Though in a different thread.
I ended up going cold turkey as it got to the point I couldn't sleep 8 hours as I have fast metabolism.
As such Oxymorphone wouldn't last as long as it should, I found it lasts about the same as Dilaudid.
Oxymorphone is Opana if your not familiar with the non brand names.
Really potent shit nasal or IV compared to oral where it's low b/a makes it comparable to Oxycodone.
Well supposedly twice as potent but I never found it to be, thus the nasal usage.
To make it worse on myself while I laid in a tub puking/shitting on myself for a week or 2 I decided;
to leave a bottle of pills right on the counter next to the tub to prove a point.
Yet when that surgeon told me I would be in pain my whole life I went to pain management.
Sadly physical therapy & a solution for the lower left quadrant pain where never offered.
As such I ended up back on the pills, though it became Morphine & Dilaudid.
Which just kept escalating in dosage, though at the time I wasn't abusing them.
I ended up getting referred by the PM doc I saw, a total quack, asked me to explain opiate system to them.
Hell, when they upped/changed my medications I had to show them the narcotic calculator on;
www.globalrph.com/narcoticonv.htm as they didn't know.
Was ridiculous they ended up referring me to another doctor as my tolerance grew.
Turns out this other doctor is a GP & ATM I'm on a taper as a result as I mentioned above.
Though when I first saw him he said he was a PM & I signed a contract & such.
Turns out he was just trying to help me out. I told him I used cannabis so he never drug tested.
After my recent drama, clinic policy/his boss ended up putting me on taper.
But prior to that he had gotten me up to Morphine ER 60mg x3 Daily, Dilaudid 8mg x6 Daily;
Klonopin 2mg x3 Daily, Valium 5mg x3 Daily & Soma x3 Daily.
Needless to say I'm hurting ATM with Dilaudid, Valium & Soma gone, & down to 1mg Klonopin x3 Daily;
dropping a mg a week though I'm seeing a therapist who will restore that.
As that's to fast of a taper totally not Ashton Manual compliant & resulted in a seizure already.
But I digress.
The opiates are cut to 15mg ER x6 Daily or 90mg.
Though I'm actually at 135mg & have enough extras to sit there for a bit before I drop.
As I need to function this month the timing could not be worse.
But after FM's post I must say that even though I need my meds & plan to go back on them;
it was in part my fault without a doubt.
As for years I abused them. Hell I ended up IV'ing the hell out of those Dilaudid's.
As at first I went nasal due to low BA, but actually now that I think on it, I'd discovered the needle before;
I had Dilaudid, a friend introduced me with Heroin then since I was high I shot some ER Morphine.
Ugh waxy mess. *Shudder* Luckily I have a good relationship with the point & can put it down at will.
Though I will pick it up as needed. Also luckily I used microns for my whole shooting/bender career.
As I spent a few years avoiding the pain by shooting any opiate I could find.
As I recall everyone always gave me shit as I took forever to prep as I'd bring microns in my kit;
& take forever to prep a shot compared to everyone else.
Also I discovered the joy of the speedball & shooting bases via vinegar/lemon/lime juice.
BTW HR Tip if you don't have sterile citric acid packets go with the vinegar.
Lemon/Lime juice can cause bacterial eye infection issues.
As obviously the speedball being heroin or I guess another opiate/cocaine, with the whole base thing;
I slammed crack, fentanyl, etc.
Again don't recommend any of this especially the fentanyl, though I seem to be virtually immune to it.
Everyone else I know has od'd at least once off it.
Hell I got to where I was wearing 2 100mcg/hr fentanyl patches & would slam 50mg Oxymorphone on top.
That was for a decent rush & a minor high, so as FM said take as little as possible tolerance can get insane.
As I'm currently 5'9" and 110 & was about the same then. For tolerance size does not matter.

As a reference point the Oxymorphone alone would be = to 1000mg, yes 1 Gram of that Oxycodone you take.
So please take FM seriously as he may sound harsh but he has damn good reason to be.
You don't want a monster tolerance like I ended up with back then.
Luckily I had no problem putting down the point & doing things right when it came down to it.
As for years I haven't abused medications at all & took everything as prescribed.
Just a stupid thing that ended up fucking up my PM which like I said I need back.
Hell my doctor that's tapering me is referring me to PM, so it's not like they think I don't need it.
But regardless I just wanted to post this as an example of what can happen when you don't think ahead.
That & I guess FM's post made me think a bit of the past.
Perhaps it's a bit cathartic to post some things from your past, or maybe I'm just w/d'ing & tired.
Regardless I am glad FM made me think & I hope his post & mine make others think.
Anyways I'm out as I'm tired & hurting & sadly this dose of ER Morphine I just took doesn't even get me;
out of withdrawals let alone touch the pain.
Though I must say Benzo withdrawals hurt just as bad or worse & overall symptom wise seem worse.
Especially when your on high doses IE. the 6mg Klonopin for like 10-15 years.
Though the benzo & dose varied in that time frame, but that's getting off topic.
So best of luck to you & I hope everyone is having as pain free a day as possible.
Hope everyone is suffering as little as possible, as everyone here suffers to much sadly enough.
Hmm in the time it took to post my mini-novel RTP chimed in.
As I've said in previous posts this thread should stay positive & be devoid of negativity.
As those in this thread suffer enough & do not need to be subjected to additional suffering here.
I don't believe FM was trying to personally attack or hurt z06's feelings.
Though I'm not FM so I can't speak for his intentions.
However, to me it seemed more like a warning.
A warning against not realizing that part of having an opiate dependency falls on the user as well.
The doctor didn't force you to develop a dependency.
Even if you need the medication as I myself freely admit.
There is a certain self-responsibility if you develop a larger habit than necessary for pain relief.
As the poster stated he was using his script & hitting the streets for his fix.
That doesn't imply pain management. That usually implies getting high.
Though I'm the last person to judge anyone on that as I spent plenty of time getting high myself.
I'll also freely admit that considering I'm in withdrawals...
If someone handed me some dope & a rig I wouldn't worry about just getting pain relief I'd get high myself.
So I'm not on a high horse or judging anyone.
And I don't believe FM was either, though like I said I'm not him.
I just believe he was trying to point out a distinction between pain relief & getting high.
Which admittedly are 2 very different things.
Regardless I gotta get some sleep so I'll let FM explain himself, just a reminder to all.
We all suffer enough keep things positive. No need for negativity in here.
Though I don't believe that was the intention.
I think FM was just pointing out a distinction.
He may have chose to do so in perhaps a bit of a heavy handed manner for this thread.
But it's a serious topic so.
Anyways, keep it positive & I hope everyone is doing well in terms of pain & suffering.