Hey Peeps! This one's gonna be
LONG, so beware of boredom! Yea, it's a fucking crying shame that folks who are looking to get "high" or "trip" or "party" or whatever the fucking terminology is...can buy ANYTHING they want, no matter the legality.
I have
no contacts for anything drug-related, as I never took drugs for recreation. Hell, I took very little for monstrous pain...Darvocet til taken off the market. I've only felt "relief" from pain in a dentist's chair or on an operating table. I could never have the luxury of "no responsibility", "nodding", "chilling", "couch-locked"...again, terminology. I don't wanna get high, I'd be content just to be able to get "up" without horrid pain. Recreational use is not a mindset that I can comprehend.
I don't judge...So PLEASE don't take offense...anyone.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I'm just being honest when I say "I don't understand". Throughout my childhood, I witnessed my aunt and uncle drunk and drugged out of their minds. They were volatile and combative. It was utter destruction for all who witnessed it...especially us little kids. My mom broke up the fights of the crazies, and made us kids clean up their mess. Why? Read on, if you dare.
I have worked since I was 10 years old (yep). I will work until I'm on the root side of the Bermuda grass. I've no choice, really. It's expected of me. It's my identity. Thus, I need a clear head and sharp mind that most pain meds don't allow.
In case y'all haven't figured it out, I was besties with the Flintstones. I grew up in a time where education was paramount, and accomplishment was everything. Perfect was never good enough. My mom would have literally killed us if we took drugs or drank alcohol. We just didn't do it, aside from a little Jack Daniels at Ole Miss. She instilled such fear with the regular beatings. She'd beat us until we bled...then beat us for bleeding. We knew better than to cry. She was (is) wicked, even now at 90. I still fear her though I'll soon be 55.
So...I'm not street-wise, not even a smidge. The medicinal CBD:THC oil is not something being hawked in a dark alley. I'm certain there are modern day web charlatans that sell miracle oils online. IMO, the biggest street dealers of any drug are big pharma. Yet I can't obtain this MMJ oil that may save my colon and my life.
KM...Just realized you're in Bama! Roll TIDE! Unless they're playing the REBELS! Seriously, I'm sorry you're caught in the hamster wheel of "non" pain management. We ALL know the struggles to obtain proper care. Your broken back makes me cringe, doll baby...rods, screws and all. Gentle hugs to you. I hope you'll find a comfy space and stay with us a while. You're just "next door", unless you're on the Georgia line.
Closeau...The Exalgo is indeed outrageously expensive...BIG PHUCKING PHARMA rides again! I'm careful, I promise. I don't trust easily...ask my husband. But that's a whole 'nother story from a long time ago.
Bless his heart, he spent his birthday taking care of me. I couldn't eat, sleep or stop pooping (after harsh bowel meds). I was so weak, sick and unconsolable, once pot patrol ended, he insisted I take my Ativan (at 3 in the afternoon). He lay still and held me while I passed out and slept for a bit. He said his only birthday wish was for me to feel better.
THANK YOU, C...for sharing your most intimate feelings about your ostomy bag. It's not funny, I know...but your expressions and honesty make me laugh. Laughter is GOOD STUFF, even when forced to laugh at ourselves. You're a trooper, my brotha. Did you get the job? If not, there's something better for you! Stay strong.
SK...Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions! Movantik is ungodly expensive and my insurance won't approve. My PM doctor is as useless as teets on bulls, so he won't advocate for anything other than his $280 per 10 minutes, tops! I'd rather terminate my contract and invest that monthly charge into legit CBD:THC oils or tinctures. Ole Dixi is burning DOWN!
RTP...I hear you regarding the things we take for granted when we are well and able-bodied. I learned those lessons LONG ago. There were days when a hot shower/shampoo and fresh undies spelled VICTORY. My niece would French braid my (then 80's) Bon Jovi big hair to prevent the spiral curls from becoming knotted. I am sorry you are going through this, but happy you have friends at your side...and of course your mom and "sweetchild".
Anna...Hope each day forward eases your pain until it is bearable. Fingers and toes crossed, as I've known SCS to not meet expectations. I considered one early on, but neither it nor the "pain pump" would have been feasible for my body's buffet of pain! Whatever you do, my sweet, don't push yourself too hard. Give yourself the same compassion you give to all of us here at
PAIN PEEP CENTRAL! Together, we are stronger.
SKR, Stef, Shroom etal...Come back! Come back! Let us know how y'all are doing. SKR, I'm concerned about your back pain without the Oxy. Are you okay? I care. We had a couple of news guys, but they didn't seem to stick around.
Chronic pain is like "Hotel California"..."You can check out any time you like, but you can NEVER leave." Ain't that the fucking truth!
I almost checked out this weekend, but ultimately I couldn't leave my husband and Dal...the loves of my life.
