^Sorry to hear that amongst your pain, insurance, & inconvenient night time issues that you also have to face your mother & best friends mortality.
I don't understand American "insurance". Over in OZ we have the option of taking out "health" insurance, but by no way or means can anyone tell us which meds we can or can't have. Some meds such as Gabapentin I took for pain & not epilepsy, so scripts were written "off label" (for another purpose than intended), & that cost me a LOT of money I'd rather not have had to fork out, but I guess if a dr is telling you it will help,- then I'll give it a go.
In regard to you going back on MS Contin, & hearing of your recent ( I gather), change of routes of administration, do you think with morphines low bioavailability you'll be able to put that habit to rest? Or perhaps it's the dilaudid you're messing with. If it's that, I hear it's great, but I've only ever taken my Dillys orally, to stave off wds!! (Not that I'm encouraging it).
Understand you were taking it post surgically, but your tolerance has likely increased, not that I read of a time frame. Just the nature of these meds.
On your own by the sound of your posts. I'm not partnered either, but I have sweetchildofmine to keep me busy & my chin up most of the time. My father, (I was very much a daddy's girl), passed away over the space of a couple of weeks not long ago, maybe about six wks ago.
I was more comfortable that I knew his wishes,- & after him being admitted into a ward, then icu, then back to the ward, I'm so grateful the doctors caring for him took my word as gospel that he was strictly "DNR".
His rather newly acquired chinese wife wanted him kept alive by machines, but as she couldn't grasp much English the drs were calling me 24/7 for permission for meds, treatments, tests etc.
He never would've wanted to even known if that was possible, how sick he was. He had encephalitis, lost his memory, his continence, speech, (or would talk of things that never happened in the manner of a stroke victim), even the ability to recognise most of his loved ones during that time.
To keep the peace, between myself (former next of kin), & his wife, after a long chat at three am one morning the doctors that had been treating dad called it a "medical decision" not to return him to intensive care. He passed away ten minutes later.
It was so difficult to comprehend this ballsy, British naval seaman turned chef who only retired six months earlier after a hugely successful career, could change so drastically in just a few days.
So, if you'd like anyone to talk further with you, I'm not sure if I saw any mention of life expectancy, but as someone who's newly lost a parent..I'm encouraging you to PM me if or when you wish to
Another point, & this is to all sharing our fine thread, when something big gets into your brain do you notice your pain levels go down or are largely lessened?
I'm not meaning these new psychological methods that our PMs are now pushing onto us as the latest craze over any real medical or medicinal approach, - get a hobby, crochet a knee rug lol,- but when something super big is happening in our lives...
Be it an untimely death, extreme illness of your child, (or yourself), an emergency of sorts & you discover your pain has taken a backseat albeit temporarily?
I've noticed this myself too many times now to be coincidental. Maybe our brains can only process so much, & especially toward the Cpp's here I'd like to know if it also happens to others?
Perhaps it's adrenalin taking over, fight or flight, I know I can be on two elbow crutches with severe leg bone pain,- but a call from school that my ten yr olds had an accident & needs a dr... I drop my crutches & run, drive whatev, & have no prob throwing a 35 kg kid over my shoulder & running! I'd like to hear if anyone else has this happen ever.
It's def been more than one occasion. I had an awful few episodes with an ear condition called labyrinthitis, where as much as I knew the flooring in my home is flat, stable & secure, everything was at odd angles to my view of the world. I even went to the neurologist in my dressy & uggies I felt so bad! My pain was negligible though...
Dixi,- dear lady, if u can't smoke mj,- a tip I learnt years ago when smoking weed made me vomit.. You know in the chilled section of the supermarket they sell ready to "slice & bake" cookie dough? Wow, a roll of that & not even one "bud" stunk out my fathers house to no end, so don't attempt if you're expecting guests, but easier to stomach & less nausea. As it's "real" food, might be something worth trying.
Hell, any edibles, & I did find a different effect from smoking to digesting. Perhaps end your day with a green juice, very good for digestive health
Best to all,
Rtp
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
The pain persisting in my left side to my back concerns me about the health of my pancreas. It's just CRAZY in my mind...Doctors have the contrast CTs that show the problem of partial bowel obstruction, yet scratch their heads in "wonder" of what could be causing my pain. Huh?
So very sorry about your mom. It does, indeed, suck. Just the fact that she's your "best friend" speaks volumes of your close relationship. Be THERE for her and love her through it. You're never prepared to lose your mom, no matter what age...regardless of the circumstances. 
