I need some input and advice, after getting the boot (or at least being told the doc won't script me anymore) from my first PM Clinic.
So some history. 22 yrs old, chronic back pain since 16.
Turns out pelvis was injured during growth phase, causing one side to be bigger, kind of like a leg discrepancy but in the pelvis, so standing/sitting I was always uneven, uncomfortable, in pain.
Got surgery may of last year, fixed the problem by lengthening the left pelvis with a bone graft after they saw through the bone.
8 weeks later, off crutches, bone graft collapses
Then december comes, another surgery, this time didn't achieve correct symmetry or height and problem persists.
I knew things were going to be shitty once the graft collapsed, and since then i've been self medicating. Using opioids, weed, etc. Eventually, recently, it was heroin again... (went to treatment a couple years back).
Anyways, parents and therapist and myself decide pain management. Remember, im using still.
So I go to office 2 weeks ago. Give piss(fuck) since im dirty with benzo,ambien,morphine(no more 6-MAM since it was the day before), thc. I tell the doctor that i've been in treatment, and have been getting drugs illicitly because im in chronic pain, and that i need something till my final (fingers crossed) surgery.
I mention subutex, since it doesnt effect hormones much and isnt really abusable if you have a high tolerance.
He decided methadone, 5mg x2 per day would be good. I was against it, but went ahead, and was scheduled back in 2 weeks. Also to quit weed by 1 month.
Anyways, get my script, and 10mg didnt feel like anything. Ended up taking 40mg the first day. 20mg the next 2 days. Stupid fucking me.. this is where I
screwed up. Didn't even get very high, and it didn't even kill my pain.
Also gave a couple to my dog whose dying (2.5mg doses only, she was fine and pain free for a bit.) By the time 1 week expired I was out, except for 5mg for my drug screen so i had methadone in my system so they knew i wasn't diverting.
Anyways, I arrive today, after withdrawing since monday (finally felt decent today). Had an appointment with a PA. Took a long time, and this young 20 some girl know it all comes in. She is beautiful however. I tell her I only took one tablet today, and she asked why. I told her I ran out early because on of the days I took 3 pills instead of two, since i was in lots of pain. I proceed to tell her that the 10mg methadone dose is very weak considering my history, and I did my best to stick to the regimen. I also had stopped all other illicit drug use (heroin, vikes, benzos) since monday, and that was truly a feat for me.
I really wanted this PM thing to work.
Long story short, she tells the doctor that I took 3 one day instead of 2. SHe comes back telling me he will no longer prescribe me, because i didn't follow orders. WTF!?!?!?
After billing my insurance 1500$ for the first visit, plus urine testing for a couple hundo, and me being up front with these guys, and they say i can stay for counseling and for spine injections. I ask to speak to the doctor not the PA and he is "seeing patients". I stick around looking for him, and talking to some other staff i had met. Can't get ahold of him.
I decide to tell them to cancel my piss test, as i dont want to waste more $ here, and leave.
So I fucked up during my first pain management.
So now I'm going to do some actually research and find a good clinic that doesn't nickel and dime you to death. Also going to make sure my piss is clean when I go in.
How upfront should i be about my previous addiction issues? Im legitimately looking for pain relief and will follow orders to a T next time, even if it isn't helping.
Also, i have a non-related surgery on monday. Ive been scripted from this doc before, and he gave me #30 5/500 hydros.
Today I go pick up the script and low and behold, #60 10/325 norco. Although they are generic, say IP 110.
My tolerance is whack, or hydrocodone fucking blows... I CWE'd 12 pills, and plugged the solution. I think I lost some to my filter. So maybe got 80mg.. I also popped 50mg orally, no filtering, so like 1.5g apap. . So at least 120mg hydro, possible 170mg, and under 2g tylenol.
My pupils aren't even pinned very bad. Just took 25mg hydroxizine and 1mg ativan to potentiate.
Did taking a total of like 200mg methadone over a week fuck my tolerance up that bad, to where 100mg hydrocodone doesn't even put me on the map? I tried with 70mg on monday of hydro, and it was weak as fuck... Now i'll probably have to sell these pills and buy dope for any pain relief, since the doctor tossed me.
Any advice on my next pain management doc? And why is hydro so fucking weak? Thanks!